You’re still talking about the diamond, right?
Has your wife given you any hints that she even wants a diamond? If you’ve been married that long, she only has one, and hasn’t by now told you exactly what she wants, she may not want one.
If I wanted a diamond, I’d make damn sure my fiancee knew it. I don’t want him thinking he has to spend thousands of dollars on some sparkly little stone which isn’t going to benefit me in any way.
When my fiancee’s parents got engaged, due to lack of funds his dad offered his mom a choice - a new fridge or a diamond. She chose the fridge.
34 years later, he offered her another choice for a Christmas present - a new floor in the living room or a diamond. She chose the floor.
She has never asked for a diamond, or hinted that she’d like one because there are more interesting and useful gifts out there.
So, if your wife hasn’t by now made it clear what she wants, you might want to just ask her. If she does want a diamond, the fact that you thought of it all by yourself, and care about her opinion will get you just as many brownie points as buying what you THINK she wants.
Now, if you do decide to get her a diamond without asking her what she wants, get a ring. The only real point to a diamond is the pretty sparkles. If you can’t see the sparkles on your ears or neck, what’s the point?
Of course. I did say she’d still love it even if is was small, after all.
I’ve just gone through the diamond engagement ring circus so I’ll pass along my invaluable wisdom :dubious:
I was like most of you. No way in hell am I throwing money away to an organized crime child-slaves-with-black-lung-disease cartel just for some crystalized cigarette ash.
However, my fiance really wanted a diamond. Watchya gonna do…spend the rest of life with a resentful wife pretending to like the rare translucent lavender opal I wanted to get her, or an ecstaticly thankful wife who jumps on me in horny glee everytime the sunlight hits her finger.
Well, it’s her ring ultimately, so we went with diamond. We saved a ton of money.
Don’t go to big chain sellers (Ben Bridge, Shane, etc). Overpriced, poor selections, and bland mainstream settings. Find smaller independent outfits and haggle, haggle, haggle. You’d be surprised how much they’ll knock off the price if you casually mention that you also are thinking of getting bridesmaid jewelry…you get the idea.
Wholesale, not retail. They are out there, it just takes some digging in the grapevine. Someone you know will have a friend’s uncle’s cousin with a connection so you can say “Fred sent me…” and get in the door. We saved at least 50% this way, and were able to select from some very non-mainstream cuts and styles which would be hard to find otherwise.
Design your own setting. Many bridal shows, expos, heck even renaissance fairs, have people that do custom band work for dirt cheap in any metal imaginable. You can have any setting from Ben Bridge recreated from scratch from an independent shop for much cheaper. Plus, you get something that is uniquely yours, my wife and I both self-designed our bands.
You can get your stone one place, and your setting somewhere else…more money savings.
Got guilt issues about where your diamond comes from? We almost went with these guys: http://www.siriusdiamonds.com/pages/home_content.html
Canadian diamonds, no slave labor, mined only by jovial Molson-swilling canucks. Plus each diamond has a polar bear microscopically etched on the gem. Great cool factor and zero guilt, although you still have to pay retail.
From my experiences:
-
If your area has a wholesale center, and if you or a friend have a resale permit, you can walk in and get discounts as high as 60% off retail. In San Francisco, it’s called the Jewelry Mart, it’s inside the Fashion Center, and you can’t get in without proof of business ownership (resale permit, business card, and ID). My wife and her mother buy jewelry-making supplies there, and I went with my (then-future) mother-in-law to buy my wife’s engagement ring.
-
Take your time and isolate your variables. Accept the loan of a jeweler’s loupe, and examine each stone closely for the flaws, color, and cut described by the certification. Look at a flawless stone of a given color next to a flawed stone; look at a colorless stone of a given clarity next to a slightly yellowed one. Stand back and look at how each factor affects the sparkle. Decide what you think you can live with.
-
If you’ve been married for 26 years, your wife must be fond of you – the important thing about this purchase is that it’s coming from YOU. Don’t overdo it.
Fritz, if you are anywhere near Redlands, go to Emmerson-Ferrar jewelers on State St. I got the wife’s engagement ring there, and they are the tops. Non-DeBeers diamonds, and the buyer is very helpful. It was a painless experience, and the ring is gorgeous.
Trust these guys, they won’t rip you off.
A few years ago, NOVA had a show about synthetic diamons…the word was that high-quality synthetics would be on the market “very soon”. Anyone seen them?
Redlands is a bit far for me (from Ventura), but considering what I’m gonna spend, maybe it’s worth the trip. Thanks for the tip silenus.