ok i dont want the straight dope e mail to be my friends but mine how do i change it?
I’m not a Power That Be, but…
If you click on “user CP” at the top of the screen and then “edit profile” you can change it. Then you email an administrator to let them know you’ve changed it. (You might not need to email them, but I think I did when I changed mine, and it can’t hurt. Not like they share the email addresses.)
This post should be in the ATMB forum, just so you know for the next time. Also, just a suggestion, proper capitalization and punctuation is really appreciated here, as is spelling when you can manage it 
Oh, and welcome to the boards!
As for your question:
At the top of every page there is a link to “user cp”. This is your profile “manager”, and that’s where you can change such things as your email address, password, your Location description, thread subscriptions (that notify you when new posts are made to specific threads) and your buddy/ignore lists.
Click on the link and just simply change your email address. I believe you might get some sort of confirmation about it, but I don’t remember as I haven’t had to change my address with this version of the boards.
Just FYI, you cannot change your username in “user cp”. To do so, you must request a name change with one of the admins. Frequent name changes are not really liked around here, since it gets confusing, but if you find something that you REALLY REALLY want at some point, just send a polite email to an admin.
I recommend you browse the ATMB forum, and especially read the FAQs that are there - they will answer a lot of questions for you.
As I said, welcome to the boards!+
This thread is better suited for About This Message Board. I’ll move it for you.
To change your e-mail addy on the SDMB, click the user cp button (said button can be found at the top of any page of this message board). This should bring you to your User Control Panel. Click on Edit Profile. Overwrite your new e-mail addy in the two E-mail Address fields. Scroll to the bottom of the page and click Submit Modification.
You will be sent a confirmation e-mail. Follow the instructions within.
Cajun Man - SDMB Moderator