I am going back into my ten-year-old self to explain to you what might be happening.
When I was 10, my mother “took in” an 18-year-old unwed mother from another state, for the duration of her pregnancy plus two recovery weeks. She got my room. I had to sleep with my mother.
To say I was hostile is kind of an understatement. It was more like MY LIFE IS RUINED.
She tried to be nice to me. She taught me how to put my hair in a French twist, and she made tiny little doll clothes for my Barbie doll (and she was really good at it). I don’t think I was very gracious, because, first of all, she had encroached into my space. And second of all, even though my mother kept saying it was only for a few months, I think they had all forgotten how long that few months can be to a 10-year-old. She was also getting my mother’s attention, and she was, quite frankly, acting like an older sister, which I’d never had before. I was an only child and while I did want a sister, I wanted a younger one.
I mention this to explain how it might seem to the kid. You are there, when you didn’t use to be, and no doubt having some kind of impact on her routine. And as far as she can tell, you will always be there.
So, in the eyes of the kid, and possibly her mother, too, you have in fact encroached on what she considers her territory. And frankly, if I were living with my boyfriend and my child, and another couple moved in, and there was no date in sight when they were moving out, I’d be a bit stressed, too.
It sounds like your boyfriend’s friend is letting you live there instead of paying you for your work starting up his venture. This sounds like a situation that could really blow up. Don’t find an additional job–you should be able to swing a modest living situation on what you can earn in a regular job. If the boyfriend’s friend wants your expertise and your work, he should pay for it.
Note I just saw where you are moving out soon, but your problem will be addressed before you leave. Why? If you’re out, you’re out. I’m not saying you changed the dynamics of the household with your presence, but that’s a possibility, don’t you think?
