How do I find a Jedi Knight?

Factual Questions
1

I’ve had it with my family bitching about my wedding ceremony plans.

I need to find a Jedi Knight to officiate, or to have one of my friends ordained as a Jedi Knight. Google is not serving me today, so here are my questions for the Dopers:

  1. Is it true that Jedi Knights can officiate wedding ceremonies in the US like any other priest or minister?

  2. Where is there official website, or is there some other way that I can get in contact with them?

  3. (this would be on the website if I could find it) Can just anyone join lickety-split, or is there some initiation ceremony involving plastic extendo-swords?

Thanks much.

2

Wasn’t the whole Jedi Knight as an officially recognized religion as UK thing? Wasn’t it just based on Census self-reporting?

3

I’m afraid to disappoint you, but all the Jedi were wiped out in the Great Jedi Purge, well except for two. I think there’s only one left now…

4

That’s what I don’t know. My Urban Legends are all mixed up with my Strange But Trues! Help!

5

…and Australia.

6

Damn. Ok, so how do I contact the Druidic Network?

7

Here ya go!

8

Thanks, Scruloose. On second thought, maybe no Druids. Looks like they take themselves seriously. A Jedi Knight probably wouldn’t mind being the mechanism of a joke, but a Druid might. And then I’d have fungi marching on my house and squirrels attacking me at the park. Oh well. Back I go to finding a judge. Thanks, everyone!

9

Drive to Colorado with your S/O and ID. Go to any county clerk’s office, make out the paperwork and show your ID. Walk outside the office and sign it. Go back into the office and turn it in to be recorded. You are now married.

10

Well, if a knight won’t do, how about a king?

11

http://www.davesdaily.com/pictures/329-bathroombreak.htm

12

The usual way is to have your astromech droid record a holographic message of you asking for help, then jettisoning said driod along with a protocol unit in an escape pod to the surface of a desert planet where such a knight is likely to reside. :smiley:

13

Well, you could just find a Jedi who happens to be ordained by the Universal Life Church (which, as I remember, you can do over the internet), and he can perform the ceremony.

Hell, a plumber or a gunsmith or a professional poker player ordainedby the ULC could do it, too.

14

There are more than a few Dopers who have been ordained by the ULC, in fact.

And this raises a question: Can a person officiate his/her own wedding?

15

Does it have to be someone who really believes he/she is a Jedi? As in, someone who dresses the part, meditates on The Force, etc.?

I suggest finding an ordinary Christian minister with a sense of humor who doesn’t mind officiating dressed in Jedi garb and doing the ceremony in Jedi-speak, invoking The Force instead of invoking the Christian God, etc.

If you want to fly out to Illinois, I’ll do it.

16

First of all, a number of states have ruled that a person “ordained” by the ULC or other mail-order ordination is not eligible to officiate at a wedding. Please check your state laws and judicial rulings on this before proceeding.

Second, if the state requires an officiant (some states recognize common law marriages, which do not require an officiant), it cannot be one of the people getting married.

17

Some states permit entirely non-ordained persons to officiate at wedding ceremonies. A friend of mine in MA, who is not any kind of religious official or ceremony celebrant in ordinary life, was asked to perform a wedding ceremony for a couple he was friends with. He merely had to get temporary permission from the state govt., which required submitting a couple of recommendation letters from respectable people to the effect that he was a respectable person and could properly represent the State of Massachusetts in fulfilling this official function, etc. etc.

So you might be able to get just any-old-body to officiate at your wedding ceremony, if your state permits it and you do the necessary paperwork. In which case, you could just pick an officiant whom you can persuade to dress up as a Jedi Knight (although I think that might be somewhat disrespectful to Jedi Knights who take their faith seriously, if there are any such. I know it would be pretty offensive to have a non-ordained friend dress up as, say, a priest or rabbi and perform a fake-religious ceremony, even if you weren’t trying to misrepresent this friend to the state officials as a real priest or rabbi.)

18

Finding a Jedi knight is easy. If you don’t already have them in your house, go to Blockbuster and locate the DVD (or VHS, if you’re oldschool) of Star Wars Episodes 1, 2, 4, 5, or 6. Rent it. Go home, watch the video. Voila! Jedis.

Barring that, locate the movie theater that’s playing Star Wars Episode 3. Buy yourself a ticket. Again! Jedis.

Good luck convincing Luke, Ben, Anakin, Mace, Yoda, or any of the others on officiating your wedding, however. for that, you’re on your own.

19

But Jedi are supposed to be celibate and don’t care for marriages and such, so why would one officiate at a wedding? Now a Sith has no such qualms.

20

Luke, while not starving, probably wouldn’t turn down a paying gig.