I’m bummed at the distance that I have from my friends. As an urbanite affected by terminal loneliness, I long for the type of friendships that you see in sitcoms and films. I want friends constantly up my ass, calling and texting night and day, dropping by unannounced like it’s Friends, and so on. I am codependent and I want friends to function as neo-family for the sad urban existence.
How do I find such people, or people that would be receptive to such a friend-family relationship?
How old are you? If you’re in your 30’s or older, it’s probably too late - this is more of a young person’s game, in my opinion. Us old farts can’t be arsed to have codependent friends - it takes too much time and effort. 
Try to find people who live near you who have a lot of time on their hands ( ie. don’t have children, don’t have a spouse, don’t work long hours, possibly those who work at home, etc. ).
Students, some freelancers, and possibly creative types. Maybe at local organizations.
I have a co-worker who is the poster child of co-dependence. If she thinks you are even the teensiest bit in need of a caretaker she will be all over you. She will be your Bestest-BFF and call you and text you all the time, all hours of the day and night. She is in her 50’s, as far as I know she’s probably always been like this. If you want her, I can see if I can hook you up.
Why not ask your little high school girlfriend? :rolleyes:
I have a group of friends kind of like that. We have been friends since high school, and all close to the same age. I think it just kind of happens. It helps that we are all sort of “weirdo art people”.
If you want to hang out with your friends more, you gotta make it happen. You need to be the one extending invitations, dropping by, etc. Make it your goal this week to invite someone to dinner, someone to your house, and someone out somewhere. I bet you’ll find people, easy.
I knew a guy who was not particularly attractive nor charismatic. He lived in my town, where he had neither family nor school ties.
He started throwing a monthly party at his not particularly large nor appealing apartment and pretty much by dint of pure will created a “circle of friends” drawn from disparate groups that he threw together.
These parties were not marked by great food or excessive drink (more like bags of chips, bowls of dip and a few bottles of beer), but they were a nice place to go to meet interesting people and hang out.
The best thing about it was it gave him a very easy way to draw in new acquaintances. It is much more casual to say “Hey, I’m having a party Friday, why don’t you come by” than “do you want to go out for [activity]”. This was especially a benefit to him regarding women. When he met interesting women, instead of going straight for a date he could get them to come to several parties, getting to know them as friends, easy like. This is finally how he got his wife. They married and moved away for her work, taking the parties with them, damn them.
So you could do something like that.
You know, that actually sounds like a good idea. I might put that into practice.
That’s what I was thinking until the 50 year old text-aholic was mentioned. It sounds like a version of hell to me.
Wow, what a great snipe. Completely relevant and called for. :rolleyes:
For the OP, I was the same way once. I made friends with almost everysingleperson I met, figuring at least one of them would end up on me like white on rice.
I ended up with about 10 codependent friends who would never let up their grip. They’d get into arguments about who I had made plans with, where I was going, etc. I was having my friends dictate where I was going and what I was doing, and with whom. It actually was kind of nice for a while… then, it became burdensome, and finally, I just got downright irritated.
Now, I much prefer the close-but-not-always-around type of friendships. I trimmed down the fat, so to speak, and I’m pretty happy with my social life as it is now. Not many acquaintances, not many “friends,” just a few very solid, great friends.
My advice, if you reaaaally want codependent friends is just to befriend everyone you possibly can. Eventually, someone will latch on. Or several someones. 
Get multiple roommates.
I imagine you’d have to full-court press your neighbors. You can make all the friends you want at work or at a club, but if they live even 20 or 30 minutes away, I can’t see them dropping in as often as Kramer.
Sounds like you want that sort of Sex And The City, Entourage, Friends, Seinfeld type posse to roll with.
First of all, it helps to live in NYC or some similar densely packed community with lots of stuff to do where everyone lives in close proximity.
The basic structure is you and your BFF. Then you should have at most 2-3 additional core friends. They can either be another BFF pairing, or secondary friends of one or both of you.
For example,
Seinfeld:
Jerry =BFF= George, Elaine and Kramer as secondary floaters of Jerry
Entourage:
Vinny =BFF= Eric, Drama =BFF= Turtle (2 pairs)
SATC
Carrie =BFF=Miranda, with Charlotte and Sam as floaters linked to Carrie.
Friends is a little larger and unweildy
The core group is
Rachel =BFF= Monica, Chandler =BFF= Joey with Phoebe and Ross as floaters linked to Monica (former roomate and brother)
Note that in the dynamic, the “floaters” often may not even get along that well with each other nor may both BFF pairs gell with the other BFF pairs. Phoebe and Ross are total opposites. Eric doesn’t bring Turtle or Drama to business meetings, etc.
A RL example, I had a group of friends I used to hang with when I was home from college. 2 were friends from high school (P and S) and the third © was a coworker of S. We’re all good friends, but the natural configuration was Me=P, S=C with the pair linked through Me and S. P also had the added benefit of being a bit of a dumbass. As all of us are a bunch of sarcastic wiseasses, we often used to say that Ps purpose was to periodically do something dumb (like shave fraternity letters into his head) so we had someone to focus on instead of turning our sarcasm on each other.
Now why a total of 4-5 people you might ask? Simple. 4 people is the maximum number of passengers a cab will typically take. 5 is the number of passengers that will fit in a typical sedan (with one riding “bitch”). More than that, your start getting into issues of how to split the group for cabs or rides and such.
Ok, so now you know how to organize your codependent sit-com posse. Where do you find one?
-Having lots of free time helps.
-Not having a lot of money also helps
Both these factors work in a number of ways. First of all, you get forced into situations like living off each others couches. You also spend a lot of time hanging out, shooting the shit, doing bong hits, drinking, watching TV and other crap where you get to know each other.
-Alternately, having money while most of your friends don’t also works as friends come over to borrow shit
-Having a group of coworkers with the same interests who are about the same professional level. I used to work with a group of guys (all mid to senior level managers)and we would constantly be hanging out, bothering each other, making fun of the dumbasses on each others team (hey, I heard Johnson flew halfway across the country for the wrong project and didn’t tell you where he was going), drinking after work, bitching about the bosses, etc.
-Having a number of regular hang out spots. Ideally you want to be able to send a text message “pub” or “drinks” or “the spot” and everyone knows what you mean.
-Some single shared interest - acting, bitching about your love life, work, school, kickball, whatever. But to truly be effective, it should pretty much be your only shared interest so you have unrelated stuff to talk about.
That’s all I got so far. I’m pretty much making this up as I go.
If you want true Codependent people, start going to a CoDependants Anonymous Meeting.
My BFF does ( she is very Codependent, I ignore her attempts to help me and tell her to FUCK OFF every time she starts being all helpful and complicating matters with the ten thousand things she can bring to make everything JUST PERFECT AND SPECIALERER. She’s bi-polar too. and it brings her back to the COLD, CRUEL WORLD. I live in FuckAllville. and she said the CoDa meetings are always a fun time because EVERYONE VOLUNTEERS for EVERY JOB THAT COMES UP.
It is a bit superficial to start there, but you could just volunteer at whatever is an organization that you admire or like.