OK, Grossbottom, let me give you some advice. First of all, don’t listen to msmith537 when it comes to women. He’s got some major misconceptions in that area which we’re working on eliminating.
Second, my cousin grew up in England and worked in London for many years before moving to the States. I was born in England and grew up in the States. I assure you, neither of us are gold diggers and the thought of being mistaken for one on that or any other basis is appalling.
Third, what sort of people are these friends who are saying she’s a gold digger? The people I hang out with would do so as a service, just as they let me know a man I was interested in was married. They’re a somewhat exceptional group though, with very little cattiness.
I admit I make less money than the man I’m currently dating. I also have an income threshold below which I won’t consider a permanent relationship. The reason for that is simple. I make enough money to support one person; I don’t make enough money to support two. Among the traits I value are competence, independence, and strong-mindedness, not to mention the ability to cope with the world as it is. I’ve nothing against temporary setbacks; I’ve had a few of them myself. I would date a man who was laid off; I would not date a man who was laid off and not actively looking for work. I want the person I’m dating to be an equal, not someone I need to support or someone who needs to support me. I admit there are times I want to be taken care of, especially this past week when I’ve been coping with an unpleasant headcold. On the other hand, there are times I want to take care of someone, such as the gentleman I’m dating who has been suffering from an equally unpleasant headcold this week. (It’s the same headcold and he prefers to be left alone when sick, which is why I’m not bringing him chicken soup.)
I’ll advise you to tread very carefully if you decide to sound out the girl you’re dating about this. You see, I once mentioned to my gentleman friend that one reason my former fiance and I never married was because we couldn’t afford a one-bedroom apartment on our joint incomes (any one-bedroom – he was living with his parents and I was living in a 12’ x 14’ studio apartment I called a “broomcloset with aspirations”). The gentleman mistook me for a gold digger even though we’d been dating for over a year and a half. I found the assumption so incredibly offensive it started a major fight. I couldn’t believe he’d misread me so. Being mistaken for a gold digger can be very offensive. Please keep that in mind and tread lightly.
If you want to be more subtle, look at her actions. Has she tried to pay for dates? I say “tried to” because the gentleman I’m dating wouldn’t let me do so, to the point where if I pushed the issue, I’d ruin the relationship, even though I still find that a bit annoying. Does she insist on top of the line restaurants or will something like a Denny’s do? Since the holidays are coming up, what’s her take on gifts? The gentleman’s sister criticized him for not giving me jewelry last Christmas; I told him if he’d tried to, I wouldn’t have accepted it. Our relationship wasn’t at that point. On the other hand, I remember a coworker and her friends trashing the guy she was dating because he gave her a cute, frog-shaped clock for Christmas. They said the only circumstances under which it would have been an appropriate gift is if it had had diamonds in its ears. They were doing this while she was on the phone to him. My advice to him would have been even though she was drop-dead gorgeous, “Run far. Run fast. Don’t look back. Being single is better than this.” What does she say she wants for Christmas or New Year’s? Anything? What does she plan on giving you?
What matters to her? What are her values like? Is she mainly interested in material gain and worldly success? It’s not as simple as “He who dies with the most toys wins”; my gentleman friend would also agree with that, to some extent. Please excuse me. I’m having a hard time articulating what I mean by this. Does she measure the world and people solely in terms on money and power or does she look for something else? Would she think less of a person because he spent too little or too much on clothes (gold diggers can be frugal, too) or would she consider other factors? Would she dismiss a fellow because he drove a used Hyundai rather than a new BMW? (Asks she who drives the cheapest Hyundai they make.)
You’re dating her, lad. You know her better than we possibly can. Different people have different hopes and expectations of how things will go in a relationship and what their roles are. Some of these are negotiable (although I still wish the gentleman would let me pay for meals more often!); some aren’t. For example, despite msmith537’s statement, “Now if you are on a date and the idea that there might be sex at the end of it does not appeal to you, maybe you shouldn’t date that person,” I’m not going to have sex with a person until we’ve been dating at least six months, probably longer. I make that clear up front, and I’ve never regretted it. It weeds out the riff-raff, don’t you know? 
Good luck, and I hope things go well for you.
CJ