It is annoying, week after week, to be asked the same stupid question. “Got any good plans for the weekend?” Especially if your plans ALWAYS differ from all of your coworkers.
“Why, yes, I plan to stay up until 2 or 3 am every night, play video games, watch movies, do my homework, read a lot, spend time with my love, and generally try to forget about this place.”
No one in my office plays video games or reads. And to be honest, I kind of want to say, nobody really cares anyway, so why are you asking???
Plus I just have this thing about separating work and home, which no one else in the office seems to care about either. Every thing you tell one person is immediately shared amongst the entire office.
So I resort to, “Oh, nothing much, how about you?” And try to ignore it. And if my coworker ever said to me, “You never have plans for the weekend,” I’d smile and say, “Actually, I just rarely talk about them here at work. They’re not all that interesting, anyway.” And shrug. And wild horses wouldn’t be able to drag anything further out of me.
No, if you go the fiction route, make it plausible-ish. On Friday, you plan to get together with some old friends, on Monday you have a story about how your get-together went horribly, horribly wrong (but just within the bounds of believable).
To her “you never have any plans for the weekend” my answer would be a still polite, but non-committal “no, I really don’t do much, it’s wonderful”!
My coworkers ARE the sort of friendly “what did you do? how was the fishing trip? how’s the new puppy training/kid’s first day of school ? etc” types. Compared to them (I, an empty nester) am pretty boring. So when I’m asked that’s pretty much what I say “oh, nothing much, just cleaned house and was a lazy slug”.
If it was someone like the lady in the OP, there’s nothing wrong with non-committal answers that reveal nothing of your private life and yet are still friendly enough to keep her “on your side”.
Can you change the subject to something more work related when she does that?
Her: “so what did you do this weekend”
You: “nothing much, did you get a look at the new TPS report covers? What do you think?”
Master the art of deflection. Most people don’t ask because they’re genuinely curious about the answer, so if you do it right, they won’t even notice you never answered them.
“What are you doing this weekend?”
“Eh. What about you? Any big plans?”
Or my favorite:
“How are you?”
“Hey, how are you doing?” (Said with enthusiasm.) They’ll start talking about themselves and will never have a clue that you never answered their question.
On Friday you say: “Oh, not much. I’ll probably do some stuff around the house. How about you?”
On Monday you say: “Yeah, I just kind of took it easy. Took care of a couple things. How about you?”
…the important bit is that last part. Pass the ball; let them tell you what they’re going to do or did and then part ways with a smile. Social obligation is satisfied and everything stays nice and shallow. Some people are just schmoozing and don’t really care about your answer. Others are extroverted and derive satisfaction from the social interaction. Still others are genuinely interested in you as person and shouldn’t be brushed off in this manner.
If anyone gets all judgmental on you, just shrug it off and redirect: “Yeah, I’ve just got a lot going on, ya know? Skydiving into Burning Man in a kayak made entirely out of LEDs must have been pretty fun though. Do you do that every year?”
Using simple techniques like these I’ve manged for years to convince others that I’m a real human being.
I see the value of keeping things friendly and on good terms with as many as possilbe at work. The work-place is a semi-social environment.
For each question, you pause and look away - feigning a mental review.
Your plans are: “nothing worth mentioning”
Your weekend was: “nothing worth mentioning” or “nothing I care to talk about here”
I also don’t really see this as an eggregious invasion of personal space. I would assume that she likes you and would like to know more about you and what you enjoy.
There have been some good replies supplied. I like, “I don’t really make plans for the weekend. I just sort of let the weekend take me where it wants to.”
If this continues to a degree that makes you uncomfortable, I think a firm, but polite, “No offense. But I like to keep my work life and my personal life separated.” as suggested by Little Nemo sounds about perfect.
You don’t have to answer, but I haven’t met very many people who refuse to share their weekend activities at even a vague level. Why are you opposed to sharing with others? I don’t mean offense, I’m just curious. I can understand a firm (but polite) “mind your own business.” : )
I don’t like talking about my weekends because I never do anything with my weekends.
And I don’t mind telling most people I don’t do anything with my weekends. My problem is with this one coworker who asked me for personal information and then criticized me when I gave it to her.
She’s the type who doesn’t understand personal boundaries and doesn’t take hints. So I started this thread looking for other ways to gracefully keep her from asking about my personal life.
You have to take up skydiving, hang out at film festivals, join a rock band and start going on dates with hot models.
Edit: Actually, I feel for you. I can’t stand the Get-A-Life Police either. The worst part is, they somehow won’t accept “I’m going to spend the weekend in my underwear, masturbating and posting to the SDMB” as an answer.
I hate the question because whenever I answer truthfully–nothing much…I just hung out with a good book, did some chores, the usual–people weigh in with opinions about how boring I am, how I never do anything fun, how I don’t socialize enough, how my life is so sad/childish/lucky, etc. And then they ask questions about my dating habits and ask with faux-concern, why I don’t have a significant other. Don’t I know how pretty I am? Why don’t I want children? See, that’s whats wrong with society today. Blabbity blab blab blab…
Sure, I can defend myself and tell them that I’m happy with who I am, so shut the hell up about how boring I am. But that’s too intense for me. A cup of coffee is about all I want when I step into the breakroom. Not a fuck-you-very-much.
The person asking the question may be sweet as pie and just trying to make conversation. But in my experience, there’s always some jackass in the breakroom within earshot, waiting for his or her opportunity to make a jab at you and your insufficient life. Sometimes I can roll with a jab. And sometimes I’m just not in the mood.
Yeah, I guess you can say I’ve had some unpleasant experiences.
I think she is simply “being polite.” And, believe it or not, MAYBE she is trying to create a more human connection between you two (oh, you went antiquing - I love flea markets myself!). I know, you aren’t interested, so continue to be civil and give evasive answers. Its a few moments of your life.
Would you like to come to a meeting with me?