Hello Again, thanks for the links. My friend is just under the age limit, but she’d be the only adult, so she won’t join the pony club. She might be able to get private lessons when they bring instructors over, so we’ll try for that.
It think her anxiety issues go deeper, though, and when she gets scared, she freezes completely. She can’t process information or respond to the simplest suggestion. Her horse is quiet, well mannered and well schooled. (I’d be much more confident of success if it was the other way around; I’d actually know how to deal with that!) Nobody learns anything in a state of panic, and I don’t know how much she would benefit from instruction unless she deals with her anxiety first. So far, she’s not getting anywhere with her GP. She isn’t bad enough to need medication, and his only suggestion was to look up self help stuff online. At the moment she’s waiting to hear back from a hypnotherapist.
Am I the only person who’s completely taken aback at the idea of someone who has no idea how to ride owning and riding a horse? Why on earth would someone buy a horse to ride if they don’t know how and haven’t planned for any lessons and freak out every time they get on one?
A horse is a living animal, not a video game. Sheesh.
CBT would eventually include exposure, once she has some tools and confidence built up so she doesn’t panic and freeze up once she gets into the situation that is scaring her.
In my friend’s defence, she may not be an educated rider, but she has been riding for years, I should have been clearer about that. We rode out together almost daily last summer, she worked her way up to cantering and galloping on the beach, and she was in control of her horse and having fun. But then her confidence disappeared completely, and she doesn’t know why. She subsequently sold her horse and bought a quieter, more sensible one, but that obviously didn’t address the real issue. Unfortunately, the realisation that she’s to blame for all her problems, not the horse, has knocked her confidence even further.
If I’d realised how scared she was going to be, I would have done my best to persuade her not to get another horse. I tried out horses with her, she got on them and rode them, and she felt safe riding them. I don’t know where she found the confidence to do that, but it’s gone now.
Her other phobias seem to come and go in a similar way. She’s scared of heights, but only in some circumstances. She’ll go hillwalking, walking up and down steep paths for hours with no problems, and then suddenly panic at a particular spot without warning.
Cat Whisperer, is online CBT useful at all? I don’t think there are any therapists locally.