How do I stop people from giving me stuff?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I know this sounds kind of weird, but it bothers me. People keep giving me stuff for just doing my job. I am a media technician in a hospital conference center. I set up computers, projectors, TVs, PA systems, video cameras, etc., for meetings, special events educational programs. The job is a breeze compared to some other jobs I’ve had, and they pay me pretty damn well for relatively easy work.

The thing is, I often get cast into a kind of heroic role (heroic with a very small h), because I am often called on to walk into a big room with lots of high powered people --doctors and CEO types-- and get balky equipment working in a very short time with lots of eyes on me. Or I have to figure out what technology is needed to pull off special events, get it if I don’t have it, set it up, and make it work.

I am very very good at my job, and the higherups in the hospital love me because I make them look good, especially in front of outsiders. And they are always – well probably at least a couple of times a week – giving me small gifts in gratitude. Usually stuff like $20 gift cards to Target or Borders, or once in a while Whole Foods, or offers to get my lunch out of the food they have catered in.

I’ve spoken to my boss about whether there is anything inappropriate about accepting such gifts, and she said no, and showed me the written policy on accepting gifts. But I feel like I’m getting tips in a job that doesn’t call for it.

I guess it bothers me most because nobody else in my department, or other facilities type people, gets a shot at stuff like this. They work just as hard as me, they contribute just as much to making events a success, most of them get paid less, and they don’t get the recognition I do. More people know me than know my boss, and I’ve been here 5 years and she’s been here nearly 20, and she’s the best boss I’ve ever had.

Occasionally someone actually asks me what they can do for me since I’ve done such a good job for them, and I always say “Nothing, it’s my job”, or “That’s why they pay me the big bucks.” Or maybe, if they are particularly effusive, I ask them to repeat that to my boss.

If I can figure out a way to share the wealth with my co-workers, I do. I’ve sprung for several staff lunches by getting stuff like party platters from Whole Foods. Once I bought everyone a favorite piece of music with an iTunes gift certificate and made CDs for them, and a couple of other things like that.

But I would rather just have it stop. I am very uncomfortable being singled out and treated differently, even for good things.

2

You can politely say “thank you but it’s against policy.” They don’t have to know that it’s your policy. You can also suggest they donate to the hospital or your favorite charity in your name instead.

But really, I think it’s best to just accept graciously and if you don’t want to keep it for yourself, then pass it on to someone else. Even if you don’t feel you deserve it per se, you are making the gift givers feel good in their act of giving. I’m sure they aren’t giving if it’s a large sacrifice, so share it with your other workers if there is an easy way to divide it up, or make a “grab bag” that anyone can take from first, come first serve, or donate it to your favorite charity.

I used to feel embaressed by getting gifts or tips in situations where I wasn’t expecting it (holidays/birthdays or a traditional tip-getting job). But I realized that it gives pleasure to the person giving as well as the person receiving, and it creates a more akward situation refusing a gift than in just accepting it graciously. The only time I will consider not accepting a gift is if there is some kind of “attachment” - if the giver expects something in return, expects unreasonable gratitude, or has rules about what happens to the gift after you recieve it.

3

Lunch from catered in food isn’t bad as a kind of tip, but I can see you may feel uncomfortable receiving giftcards and suchlike. Perhaps you could organise a kind of rota amongst your co-workers so that they each in turn receive the gift instead of you?

I think it’s nice that people respect your work, and they’re sufficiently grateful that they want to let you know about it - there isn’t enough of that around any more.

4

I wouldn’t worry, just enjoy it ! Your boss probably gets plenty appreciation from her bosses, for being able to keep someone around who keeps things running smoothly. And she gets appreciation from you for being a good boss as well.
And maybe she doesn’t like being in the limelight; many people don’t.

The appreciation of your clients is a reflection of how often the hardware part of a presentation fails. If you are as good in your job as you say, it’s probably been a while since you saw a presentation fail due to the beamer being broken down or laptop being incompatible or any of the wrong black myriad twisty cables having been put in the oddly placed wrong miniature slots. If that happens, and it happens a lot out there, the stress of the person holding the presentation, already high, goes through the roof. What they give you simply mirrors their relief at having come though their ordeal unscathed, through your help.

I wish I had your job…

5

Don’t offend people by persisting on not reiceving the gifts. They want to, and after a gracious turn down, just take it. Let the fellow workers have shares at the booty, and everyone can enjoy it. You need to get over the guilt trip on this.

6

I agree. If someone gives you something, just say thanks and share with your coworkers if that’s doable. If they ask what they can give you, tell them a letter to your boss that can go in your personnel file would be great.

You are saving people a lot of frustration and stress, and that’s worth more than a $20 gift card to a lot of folks. :slight_smile:

7

I agree with this. Never deny someone the opportunity to give. They want you to have the gifts and it’s not like it’s a trip to Hawaii. List everyone in your department on a spreadsheet and regift the item to each person in sequence, that’s all. I would assume that since the whole department contributes to the events success that the gifts are meant to share anyway. I’ll bet the people who don’t make much money would love a gift card once in a while.

8

It is a token of their appreciation. How much is it worth not to be humiliated in front of a room full of folks? You are finding out.

I work for tips, so in my world, I do everything possible to make sure that EVERYONE feels comfortable giving me money. Damn shame it doesn’t extend to management, oh well.

9

I agree as well. I have clients give me thank you gifts all the time. I initially suggest that they give to a charity on my behalf, but if they persist I share with my staff and we enjoy.

10

We used to have a “gift drawer” in my dept. It was used for spontaneous awards for someone who worked all weekend, the one person who made it in during a snowstorm, fixing a persistent bug, etc. You could put your gifts in that and encourage people to recognize each other.

11

I understand what you are saying, and it’s not like I refuse to take a gift from someone’s hamd. Usually I don’t have even that choice, as a gift card or whatever shows up on my desk or comes through inter-d mail a day or two after the fact with a brief thanks note.

So what I’d like to figure out is a way to politely say either, “Thanks vey much, but please don’t do it again.” or, “Thanks very much, if you’re going to give me a gift please make it something I can share with my co-workers.”

12

Pretty much all you can do is say “Thanks, but you know it’s not necessary to reward me. I’m just doing my job, after all” and leave it at that. There’s no way that you can politely direct gift-giving. You do realize there are worse work situations to be in than this, yes? :wink:

13

I understand where you’re coming from, and I am a stickler for this kind of thing too, but in this case I have to agree with everyone who has said don’t worry about it. ** They know it’s your job**, but if it was a big event for them, they are sending one gift which is a token to them. You just happen to receive tokens from all over. Face it, you’re a demigod in that world. :slight_smile:

By all means put them in a communal pool for your co-workers to enjoy as well. The giver has gotten their happiness from it and what you do from there is up to you.

14

What about “Thank you very much. That’s not really necessary, but thank you.” If they ask you what they can do beforehand, tell them that you’d appreciate a note to your boss, and sound like you mean it. Remember that while it’s no big deal to you, it is to them. They think you’re magic, really. Technology sufficiently advanced resembles magic, and all that. Trust me on this, I’ve been there.

I’m sure these people would like to write you a gracious thank you note. Since this is a dying art, they give gifts/money instead. Try to accept it in the spirit it was intended, and share the wealth. Prompt, efficient, skilled employees who make things happen consistently are worth their weight in gold. People like to reward this behavior, so unless you want to reduce your standards, you’ll just have to learn to live with this minor inconvenience. :wink:

15

It seems to me that when you use the gift card to buy a staff lunch or make a CD for a co-worker, you’re the one giving the gift to your co-workers, not the clients. So instead I recommend that you simply and directly give the gift cards to the co-workers, or give them to the manager to hand out as he or she sees fit.

16

Do a really shitty job.
:smiley:

17

Wow, does this strike close to home for me.
I do routine setup and trouble shooting of conference room AV equipment, wireless/wired networking stuff and other setups for departments here at work that otherwise would be left out to dry when something goes wrong or they get a last minute request and they don’t have the know-how or the manpower to manage it.

It isn’t my job though. I’m the facility electrician, supposed to deal with the power only, not all the other stuff. They used to have people here that dealt with the AV and network equipment but they’ve slowly cut back to the point that often I’m the only one that can tackle some of the stuff they need done.
I’ve kind of slid into this position because I showed a desire to help out whenever I could and AV/network things eventually fell into my lap more often. My boss tells me to cut back on helping out so I don’t become the only person left who can deal with these types of things. Although he knows how much help I can be and he gets the benefit (thanks from other department people) of having someone here who fills a niche.
I often get the same type of compensation that the OP gets - gift cards, lunch, shirts, etc. I don’t feel the least bit awkward taking these things (they often get re-gifted!!) because they aren’t spending $45,000/yr for an AV or Network person to help with these setups and emergencies.
The feeling of being able to help out and being the go-to guy sometimes is enough of a reward in itself, but when I see some of the stuff they do here, and realise that it might not have happened without my help, I sometimes come to expect something for helping out - even if it’s just lunch and mostly only when the request is very last minute, poorly planned or if the people are hard to work with.

18

How about “That’s really not necessary … no, really, its just my job … okay, we do lunch/bagels/coffee back in the office, I’ll be sure to get something to share with everyone”. Or when they offer lunch, say no thanks but you’ll take some cookies back for your co-workers. (Bring me some too).

19

If it’s something other then food, (like gift cards) why can’t you just give them away to your co-workers? Either Jim gets one, then John gets the next… or save them all until you can give each person one?

I do catering into hospitals, and some of those people are just itching to tip me. I almost never accept the tip, but that’s easier for me beucase I can tell them the tip is already worked into the delivery charge that they are billed for. But like other have said you (or me) are making their life easier and they’re willing to pay for that, especially becuase by tipping now, they’re expecting great service the next time and the next time as well.
I say, let them tip you, if you don’t want it, give it to your co-workers.

BTW when I do accept a cash tip, I usually split it with the poeple who put all the food together, they’re usually a lot more stressed then I am.