I’ve had to set up a whole new account just to do this (shes a fellow doper!!!)
OK we’ve been together nigh on two months (not long, i know but still…) and a while ago it just clicked for me, and I’ve felt like this ever since
I really really wanna tell her how i feel, but i don’t want it to sound like I’m asking “dyou wanna have sex?” cos it’s not like that at all - I really do love her…
I’m kinda shy too, so don’t tell me to march up to her and say “I love you!” cos one - it isn’t the right way to go about it (IMHO) and two - i couldn’t!!!
A. Why not just tell her? Wait for a moment of silence and say “I love you”?
B. Do you know that opening two acounts on the SDMB is pretty strictly forbidden? Quite understandable in this case, but you might want to consider emailing a mod, pleading ignorance, and asking for this thread to be closed. You might be able to ask a friend to set up an account and ask on your behalf, I don’t know.
I don’t agree. It can be very frightening for some people to say those words, especially if they’re uncertain whether their partner will say them back. Saying “I love you” to someone who refuses to say “I love you too” is a form of rejection, and it can be very painful.
Do it the cowardly way – that’s what I’ve always done. Feel her out; start a conversation about love. Ask her how she defines it – how she “knows” when she’s in love with someone. Ask her about the other times she’s been in love. How long does it take for her to reach that point in a relationship? If you’re lucky she’ll drop you a hint or two and you can find a good opening to say those magic words.
And don’t say “I love you” the first time! It’s way too direct and might have an undesirable startling effect on your SO. Soften it up a little. Try this: “There’s something I want you to know – I don’t expect you to say anything right now, but I need to get it off my chest. I think I might be falling in love with you.” Even wimpier, try writing this in an email.
I don’t mean to dis someone else’s advice, but for the love of god, DON’T say it in an e-mail. Not the first time! I’d even advise against the phone unless it’s totally necessary. If you really feel this way - and I acknowledge all the potential pain in the situation - be brave and say it to her face. It does make a difference.
It wouldn’t bother me at all if someone said it in an e-mail. If that’s the only way they felt comfortable saying it for the first time that’s fine by me. But generally speaking I don’t think an e-mail would go over too well with most women.
Blue Midget if you’re a bit reticent to say it to her face why not send her a really nice bunch of flowers and just write I love you on the card
Uhhmmm. Some of us women are pretty dense about love ourselves. I know because I was “just good friends” with a guy for three years before I learned he’d fallen in love with me the day we met. No, I didn’t manage to get a single hint, not even when he bought me roses because I was stressed out.
Tell her. Yes, it may be terrifying, but tell her. Face it, loving her but not being able to tell her can’t be much fun, either. At least this way you’ll know. If she’s worth loving, even if she doesn’t love you, she won’t be rude.
One thing, if she’s as dense as I was (poor soul!), she may not know how to handle it. I know that when I realized that when this old friend of mine said, “I love you” he meant it romantically, I was thoroughly confused for about 3 days before I realized I loved him, too. While we never quite married, it turned out to be a wonderful romance.
Go for it. Don’t think about what you have to lose, but what you have to gain. Surely the prospect of gaining the heaven that is love is worth the risk.
Half of them are liars and say “I love you” when they dont mean it just to get sex, and the other half dont say “I love you” until the relationship is ending and its too late.
99% of all women want someone who is honest and who is not a wimp.
