How do non-partakers deal with friends who expose them to illegal drug usage?

[Guinastasia]

@msmith537

Forgetting the legal issues, there is the matter of simple ettiquate. It’s a pretty dick move to toke up in someone elses car if they don’t want you to. It’s like smoking or eating in the car if someone asks you not to.

I think the OP said he was in someone else’s car, and the DRIVER was toking up.
Not that that makes it okay.

[Grrr]

@Bricker

The problem with reliance on “what will law enforcement” is that it’s useless as a recourse. What do you do when the cop hauls you out of the car and puts the cuffs on?

“Hey! The last three times, the cops just dumped my pot out and sent me on my way!”

That argument should especially impress the judge.

The original point I responded to was whether or not legal liability existed. It does. It certainly may be police in a particular area have a practice of charging only egregious violatiosn, and solving minor possession cases by confiscating the contraband and issuing a warning. There is a great deal of leeway available to an individual officer’s discretion.

But if you run into one cop who’s uptight, or just having a bad day, and he charges you… it’s no defense to point to the other times you’ve been let go with a warning.

Fair enogh, no site to offer. JUst my own personal insight. Which in my case I think I have a little more than most. that’s all. So take my advice with a grain of salt if you will.

You are right though; after rereading my first post it was maybe a little over confident.

My apologies.

[Ringo]

Your presence implies your consent, sparky. As several others have said, if you don’t want to be around it you can just leave.

Perhaps in the eyes of the law. Which is exactly why I resent unannounced introduction of an illegal substance into a situation where I may easily be discerned as complicit.

And “just leave” isn’t always all that easy, say, when you’re going down the freeway at 65 mph.

[Caiata]

In the position I’m in, which is one of just-about-to-be-hired-in-forensic-services, it’s absolutely a danger to me when the people around me use illegal drugs. So I kind of flipped out when, while making a multi-state trip through the US to say goodbye to my family before I moved here to Australia, my parents lit up a joint in the car.

Let’s see here, I am …

• trying to emigrate
• trying to get a job with police (where even a speeding ticket counts against you)
• trying to get a job where my personal integrity is constantly under review
  and they wonder why I’m a little worried about their flagrant law-breaking?

They refused to put it out. “We’ve smoked on this road (I-70) hundreds of times and never been caught.”

So I gave them the choice - put it out, or let me the hell out of the car.

They chose the latter …

I’ll never be friends with someone who will act with such blatant disregard for me. Fortunately I’ve never had this problem. Many of my friends are in the same position as I am so they know better than to take drugs, and my friends outside of the forensic field either don’t do drugs or don’t let on that they do. All’s good. Smoke all you want, but not in my house, not in my car, and not when I can’t easily leave your presence.

[Hey_It_s_That_Guy]

@Caiata

Smoke all you want, but not in my house, not in my car, and not when I can’t easily leave your presence.

Bravo. That’s all I would ever ask and require from people.

[Misnomer]

@Ringo

Perhaps in the eyes of the law. Which is exactly why I resent unannounced introduction of an illegal substance into a situation where I may easily be discerned as complicit.

Perhaps in general. If you know that your friends have a tendency to light up, and you keep hanging out with them anyway, you are implying your consent. You can’t get all indignant about anyone “subjecting” you to illegal behaviour when you knew full well there was an excellent chance that they would. That was my point about the addicts/dealers I dated. Your friends may not have said, “hey, we’re gonna light up now, ok?” but, after the first time it happened (to give you as much benefit of the doubt as possible), claiming that the joint came as a complete and utter surprise to you is BS.

You’re starting to sound like someone who wants to have his cake and eat it, too: you can’t hang out with people who do drugs without assuming some of the risk that goes along with that behaviour, regardless of whether anything ever enters your own personal bloodstream. Your friends make no secret of their habits, and no one is holding a gun to your head: it is not their responsibility to ensure your legal well-being. As your friends their concerns should extend to your personal property (i.e. no drugs in your house or car, as others have said), but after that grownups take care of themselves.

And “just leave” isn’t always all that easy, say, when you’re going down the freeway at 65 mph.

Yes, because exactly what I meant is that you should jump out of a moving car the moment someone lights up a joint. :rolleyes: “Just leave” as in “just don’t keep putting yourself in those situations.” It is always that easy.

[Kalhoun]

@Ringo

Perhaps in the eyes of the law. Which is exactly why I resent unannounced introduction of an illegal substance into a situation where I may easily be discerned as complicit.

And “just leave” isn’t always all that easy, say, when you’re going down the freeway at 65 mph.

Wait 30 seconds and bail when your driver stops on the side of the road. Simple. Did you NOT KNOW these people were pot smokers?

[exastris]

I’ve experienced this situation from both sides. The people I hang out with tend to be respectful (of others, obviously not of marijuana laws.) Its absolutely never been a problem. People ask before they light up, or if in a confined space and someone objects the activity is taken elsewhere.

I’ve been in a car before with someone who wanted to smoke. It was the driver. I was in a smoking phase at that point, but while driving? You’ve got to be insane! I won’t get into a car with someone who seems tipsy - definitely not going to let the driver get high! I objected strongly and he apologized and never brought it up again.

My point is that I’ve never had friends, smokers or not, that wouldn’t respect someone’s wishes in this matter. We all understand its a personal choice and that for some it could mean failing a random test, losing a job, etc. Just be up front about it. Not rude, but honest. Most decent people will respect that.

[mrunlucky]

@Ringo

What do ya do when confronted with people who involve you in potential legal liabilities for illegal drug usage?

I don’t do any illegal drugs, but I do know people who do. The overwhelming majority of these are pot smokers. While I don’t use marijuana, I am of the conviction that it ought to be legalized. Nevertheless, it is illegal, and if people uses it in certain situations where I am present, they expose me to legal sanctions.

If I’m entertaining at home, I can send the miscreants out to take their chances on the street. Exposing me to liability is an executive decision I alone should make for myself.

The situation that probably twists me off the most is when somebody lights up a joint in a car in which I’m a passenger. I have taken a lit joint passed to me and tossed it out the window (fortunately with no police around). The followup was ugly.

I really don’t care if someone smokes pot, but a pot-smoker continuously takes a legal risk in which they have no right to include me without my consent.

So, I’m sure there’re some other Dopers (ironic) out there who deal with this. How do you handle it?

What happens if you’re in a car, and you’re pulled over by the police? Well, you get to try to explain your way out of it, but you’re still guilty by association. How do you know someone in the car is going to take responsibility for the drugs they have on them? They can say the drugs are yours if they want to. They can say, like on “Cops” that they don’t know how the drugs got in their wallet, and so on. But, the bonus is that you can go to jail with them. And court, maybe court a bunch of times if you’re unlucky. And it’s not fun, it’s a complete pain in the ass, especially if you really are innocent. The police aren’t going to look at it that way. The way they see it, there are a group of people, and illegal drugs, and somebody is guilty, if not everybody, and they will let the court sort it out later.

I personally don’t have any use for people that have drug issues. It’s bloody boring to be around people that are doing drugs, if you’re not doing drugs too. It’s drama, and annoying, and people who have drug issues ALWAYS put drugs before people, and responsibilities, and everything else.

With some people, it’s just a phase, and if you can work it out, you can be around them when they’re not completely absorbed by their addiction. Or you can step away until they’re out of it. But with others, if they are part of your life, then their drug problem is also part of your life, whether you want it or not.

Still, regardless of my preaching, it’s one thing to be in a public place with someone doing drugs, another to be in a more controlled private space, and another to be with them in a car. Personally I just don’t want anything to do with the police at all, but hanging out with someone else with drugs on them just invites all sorts of trouble. Police, dealers, unpredictable actions, inability to safely do certain things. It’s up to you to weigh the pros and cons.