So it’s Sunday afternoon and I’m half loaded. Why? Because it is basement cleaning day. Without using basement cleaning as an excuse to drink in the middle of the day, I’d never have the willpower to clean the basement.
Plus unless I’m half snockered I’d never throw away all the things I need to throw away. Things that I have’t used in 10 years but when sober always imagine a future use for.
After 15 years of screaming fights with cwPartner, trying to get some of the shit shoveled out of the basement, *now * you tell me this? I could have avoided it all, just by pouring a couple of beers into my other half? Next relationship, my motto is going to be, “Getting your partner drunk - it’s not just for sex anymore.”
Hmmm…
Well, I don’t have a basement, but for big jobs, (and I’m not a teetotaler, I just don’t drink very often, once or twice a year?), I tend to amp up on caffeine. My new favorite “helper” is Diet Rock Star.
And if that wasn’t helping? Caffeine, and chocolate…Dark chocolate.
Do nondrinkers have anything in their basements? I’ve got a dozen cases of wine and a two cases of homebrewed cider, plus the carboys and all of the other paraphernelia.
My basement doesn’t have room for much of anything else. I imagine that if we were nondrinkers, we’d just have a big, empty space under our house…
I’m a nondrinker. We have our fair share of shit in our basement, rest assured.
However, since I don’t drink, I use my iPod as motivation. It’s easy to forget how much I hate housework when I’m listening to music.
Robin
I would be just the opposite–any alcohol in me and I would be clutching crap to my chest, blathering on about “remember when” and “Oh, this reminds me of”.
I can only clean stone cold sober and determined–like some kind of military exercise. nothing else works, sadly enough.
Sometimes I get drunk and clean the basement. But then I sober up, and realize I do not have a basement. What the fuck was I cleaning out?
I suppose it depends on what you are cleaning out. I have little emotional attachment to the stuff in my basement, as it is mainly a workshop. bUT while sober, I look at the large plate of window glass and say “I’ll bet that would be great to use as…” and then store it somewhere for another 5 years. While drunk I say “Man, that’d be fun to smash!” And I did. And it was! Now the basement is clean, I’m more drunk and it’s time to dance with my girls! Whoo hooo! Good Sunday!
I’d be there with Eleanor Rigby, suddenly trying to find pals from high school on Google and cutting out articles from 1971 National Geographic. IPod? Bah, I’d suddenly be sorting through vinyl and drunkenly telling anyone within earshot “Gary Numan was so UNDERRATED! Here, listen to this. . . oh, wait! Falco! Oh My God!” Then I’d come up with asinine art projects for all the junk. Wouldn’t this window frame be cool just hung up on the wall? With these little tiles and bottle caps glued on? I can do something for Christmas with this manniken arm and wine rack! And then I’d realize that I MUST paint the basement walls ORANGE! PERSIMMON! NOW! Off to Home Depot.
We would make quite a pair, capybara --I still have my HS IDs and stuff like that. I have rid myself of old college textbooks, though. But then there are the kids’ art projects and those kits they got from Santa that they never finished…
we just ripped apart and cleaned the basement, so I am feeling righteous, but I know there is still stuff lurking, waiting…
I wish I could unbend enough TO smash stuff–but <sigh> I am the one who has to clean it up, so no smashing. I bet if felt good.
My ambition at age 11 was to never need to do housework when I grew up.
I don’t drink.
I have a cleaning lady. 
You let your cleaning lady clean the memories and plates of glass out of your basment?
I have always thought that amusements parks should have big rooms of glass just for people to smash. It’d be a major attraction.
Ah yes. Manual labor + alcohol = easier on the mind.
I’m more of a ‘clean the apartment’ drunk though as I don’t have a basement. Doing homework while drunk is actually better than sober sometimes. I guess the lowered inhibitions helps me become more creative at math or something.
Just don’t clean your guns drunk.
At one time, there was a service in Japan kinda like this. A person would pay a fee and, based on the fee, got to smash up replicas of famous vases and artwork.
I’m another clean the apartment while drunk person. I hate cleaning, but with some alcohol and loud music, it stops sucking so much.
Wesley, be careful about mixing alcohol and math. Remember, it’s not safe to drink and derive.
-Mosquito, who likes math puns
Face up to it. You can’t “clean up” anything. Oh, you can get rid of the dirt, but there is no way to get rid of the stuff that you have but don’t use.
We lived in our previous house for about 14 years. When we moved from there we moved many boxes that had never been opened in all the time we lived there.
We still have those boxes, unopened in the house we have now lived in for 24 years. If everything in our house were just thrown in the house loose I’m sure the level would come halfway up on the windows.