I read a news article yesterday about how a woman is marrying the man who killed Brandon Teena. It isn’t the first time I’ve heard of an inmate getting married while in prison. Can anyone tell me what prison administrators think of this? I can see it both ways. Perhaps a prisoner exhibits better behavior if he’s married, since it gives him some incentive to get out and fly straight. On the other hand, surely prison wardens must be aware that convicted felons don’t make the best husbands, and women who want to marry them probably have a couple of screws loose. Can anybody who works in a correctional facility give any insight?
From my experience, they tend to think the latter.
Women who marry inmates often have emotional problems and/or a history of bad relationships/abuse. Being married or in a relationship with an inmate gives them a feeling of power and control-- they decide when to see him, whether to accept his phone calls, and whether or not to send him money. They believe that they are in a cheat-proof relationship, and some get a thrill out of the idea of the inmate having nothing to do all day but think of them (sort of like a male harem.)
Inmates can be incredibly great manipulators, and very romantic. They write long, romantic love letters, and always say the sweetest things to a girl they’re courting. Of course, they’re almost always completely innocent of the crime for which they’re incarcerated, the victim if cirumstance, or over-zealous prosecutors or flat-out framed. Honestly, if all you ever heard was their side of the story, you might believe it, too-- they’re that good. And these women WANT to believe.
When I read the thread title, I thought, “To each other? Except in Massachusetts, it just ain’t gonna happen…”
But I think Lissa is right. I suppose it depends upon the personality of both the prospective husband and the wife, but what warden is going to have either the time or inclination to think through whether the couple is “right for each other,” and speculate as to how the marriage is going to effect the incarcerated person’s behavior?
Even if he did think that marriage would be bad for an inmate, he couldn’t prevent it. Inmates have the right to get married (at least in my state). Really, the prison administration doesn’t care about inmates’ personal lives, as long as it doesn’t infringe on the security of the prison.
Hey, I’m an administrator! AND I work in a prison. This question is directed at me!
(Seriously, I’m not on the security side so my opinion has no official weight).
I think both the inmates and the people they marry are making poor choices. Especially if they were not previously in a relationship together prior to incarceration. For all of the reasons already mentioned. Few of these things turn out well.
Question: if conjugal visits are allowed, who has custody of the resultant child?
Actually, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in Turner v. Safley, 482 U.S. 78 (1987) that prisoners cannot be barred from the Constitutionally protected right to marry. Prison officials may reasonably regulate the time and circumstances under which the marrige ceremony may take place, but cannot prevent prisoners from marrying in the U.S.
Bageldog guy, do you take Bagelgirl to be your lawfully wedded wife, forsaking all others?..
:: shudders ::
No idea. We don’t have conjugal visits.
Conjugal visits are a very rare thing-- I don’t know of any prisons in my state which allow them.
However, as to child custody, the court would automatically give custody to the mother since the father cannot care for the child, being in the pokey and all. He can get visitation rights, however, and his pittance wages that he earns working in the prison can be garnished for child support.