I’m applying for a job at a school where a large number of the teachers are nuns. I’m visiting tomorrow to pick up the application form and recce the place. But I’ve realised I’ve forgotten the formal modes of address. Can a Doper enlighten me?
Sister?
That will usually work, except for the reverend mother. Don’t ever call a reverend mother sister.
Relatedly, a monk would probably be ‘Brother X’, but what about the abbot? ‘Abbot James’ sounds pretty awkward, but 'Brother James doesn’t seem to accord him with the appropriate respect.
I realised my reply above was a bit flippant, and this might be a serious issue for Quartz. Generally nuns,even reverend mothers, are quite happy being called sister, and that’s the mode of address he should go with, for all the nuns he meets.
If he’s introduced to the Abbess (AKA reverend mother), she’ll almost certainly be presented to him as such, and he should call her reverend mother from then on.
My flippant comment above about reverent mothers was from an aunt of mine, who was a reverend mother.
Even worse if she’s in the Bene Gesserit. :eek:
Do postulants and novices get the same title?
Unless you’re religious, there’s no reason to use any special honorifics. I would address them as “Miss So-and-so”, just as I would in polite correspondence with any other unmarried women. Of course, adopting such a secular-egalitarian approach may raise their indignation, so if the job is important to you I suppose you could pander to their expectations by referring to them as “Sister”.
Why “miss” and not “Ms.”? And why not do the same with all other honorifics and only use Mr and Ms? Why even use those?
We show deference and respect by addressing people the way they wish to be addressed. If I have any doubts I always ask them directly how they would like me to call them and this always seems to flatter them. Never had any problems.
In person, Sister (First name). As for the abbess, Mother Superior. I was taught never to use the Mother Superior’s name, but to address her just as that.
I like that Williambaskerville is answering this question. But yes I agree - Sister will work.
Another vote for “Sister First-Name”. The nuns I live with are a pretty low-key group. If you politely call them something that they would rather not be called, they’ll gently let you know what they would rather be referred to as.
Postulant and novice titles differ from community to community. With my group, postulants go by their birth name and novices become “Sister First-Name”. In other communities, they go by “Postulant First-Name” and “Novice First-Name”. AFAIK, there are no canonical rules about when the sister title gets added.
Contrary to another poster, my advice to call them “Sister First-Name” comes regardless of your religious background. If they wish to be called “Sister”, it just seems polite to address them as such. It’s similar to working with someone named Christopher who prefers to be called Chris. Would you call him anything different than what he wished to be addressed by?
Please note, not all nuns are as low-key as the group I live with. I heard one story about a man referring to a nun as a “lady” to someone else, something along the lines of, “The lady over there might like more coffee.” She overheard and responded in a huff, “I am not a lady! I’m a sister!” Her point was made; she most certainly was not a lady.
According to my Websters unabridged dictionary, the proper form of address in speaking is: Sister (Religious Name).
In writing you should address them as: My Dear Sister (Religious Name)
I live with 13 nuns* (in the same apartment complex, that is). We’re all on a first-name basis.
*Sisters of Notre Dame.
Sounds like the basis of a kick ass sitcom.
Sure, “Ms.” is just as acceptable.
Because it’s not a recognized practice in English to address people by their last names alone, except in some very specific cases (and even those are typically in asymmetric power relationships, such as a headmaster to his students, or a boss to his employees). By using the language’s set of generic honorifics (Mr./Miss/Mrs./Ms.) you are still satisfying the demands of English pragmatics, and demonstrating that you intend to show a default level of respect, but no special deference.
Well, if your goal is to flatter people, then I agree, call them whatever you want. But if you believe, like me, that society should be egalitarian, and that our use of language should reflect that, then you will eschew honorifics that mark people as having some special status, whether it is a simple “sister” or a highfalutin “your most illustrious and reverend eminence”.
I think “comrade” is the preferred term in that case.
I went to Catholic school for eight years and the only thing I ever called any of the nuns was “sister,” i.e., Sister Cecelia, Sister Ann, Sister Elizabeth, etc.
In a pinch, “Ma’am” might suffice.
My goal is to be polite and well-mannered. YMMV.
Back on topic- “Sister” is always polite and a good start. Sometimes I am unsure about “Brother” vs. “Father” if I don’t know them personally, but one can always ask- it shows good manners.