How do you catch a polar Bear?

[Least_Original_User_Name_Ever]

fingers…
can’t…type…must…sever…offending…nubs…

[Ca3799]

Knock knock

Who’s there?

I’m a pile up.

I’m a pile up who?

Har har har
(8 y.o . in the house!)

[kudzus_gal]

One my young niece told me a while back…

Why does Tigger look in every toilet he sees?
He’s looking for Pooh.

[Anastasaeon]

From my little brother several years ago:

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

[Rilchiam]

How do you catch an alligator?

Go to the Everglades with a pair of binoculars, a matchbox and a tweezers. When you find an alligator, look at him through the wrong end of the binoculars. He is now small enough so you can pick him up with the tweezers and drop him in the matchbox.

[Ethilrist]

@faldureon

But really if you want to catch a polar bear - You get a whale whisker (it’s kind of like a spring that straightens out) you wrap it into a coil and you freeze it in some seal lard. You leave it out for the bear. The bear swallows the piece of lard whole. It unfreezes in his stomach. The whale whisker straightens out piercing two holes in the bear that are incompatible with life more often then not. Cook the bear to taste and enjoy. That’s how the tribals do it; you could also just use a gun.

:dubious:

Don’t be silly. A handgun frozen into a piece of seal lard isn’t going to do enough damage to kill a bear, and if you use a rifle, I don’t want to mess with a polar bear big enough to eat it in one piece.

[Nic2004]

How do you catch a rabbit?

Go to the middle of a field, sit very still and make sounds like a carrot!

[Kythereia]

And now, this is how* not* to be seen…

[Greenback]

Where did she go?

[Shirley_Ujest]

Knock Knock

who’s There

Little Old Lady

Little Old Lady Who?

I didn’t know you could yodel.

Thanks to Coldfire for my favorite knock knock joke of all time.

[Cornelius_Tuggerson]

@Ethilrist

:dubious:

Don’t be silly. A handgun frozen into a piece of seal lard isn’t going to do enough damage to kill a bear, and if you use a rifle, I don’t want to mess with a polar bear big enough to eat it in one piece.

You are right. A primed hand grenade would probably work better. A bit messy though, but still good if you need bear burger.

[Inigo_Montoya]

@Kythereia

And now, this is how* not* to be seen…

Inigo has hidden himself very well indeed. However, his wife has informed us that he is in the water barrel.

BOOM! heh…

Knock knock?
Who’s there?
Samoa.
Samoa who?
Samoa dem Ether Bunnies!

[Skywatcher]

@Nic2004

How do you catch a rabbit?

Go to the middle of a field, sit very still and make sounds like a carrot!

How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb a tree and act like a nut.

[lizardling]

What do you call a fish without eyes?

Fsh.

[Batsinma_Belfry]

Why did the Eskimo wash his clothes in Tide?

'Cause it was too cold out tide.

[meek]

What kind of bee makes milk?
A Boo Bee!
Bwahahahahahahahaha

.

[Malacandra]

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
The interrupting sheep!
The interrupting sh*****BAAAA!!!***