Your son sounds a lot like me at his age: smart, good on tests, but bad at planning, easily distracted, and hard to motivate.
I’m still trying to straighten myself out at 27. The best advice I could have received then was, “Think about your dreams jobs, and try to be on the path to one. You don’t need to decide now, but if you’re just hoping you’ll figure it out when you get there, you’re going to discover that a whole bunch of people who HAVE been working on their skills are going to stand between you and any job you WANT to have. Follow your interests, but try to keep your interests aligned with building useful skills. Being really, really smart, creative, and easy-to-talk-to isn’t enough, because you can’t put it on a resume. Don’t rely on classwork in college to be enough, extracurricular stuff is as important if not moreso. And if you secretly want to be a novelist when you grow up, start writing now because so does every other college graduate working a dead-end job.”
When raising kids, remember----you’re not raising kids, you’re shaping adults.
The great thing about kids (because they have no choice & no place else to go) is that you can start over at any time.
Take away everything. EVERYTHING. Make them earn each thing back. Don’t waver. Don’t negotiate.
Decide ahead of time what you’re wanting out of them. (& when they finally do one thing, don’t reward them. You’re judging their commitment over the long haul. They need to do, consistently, what you require over a time period long enough that you feel like they’ve “learned it.”)
Let them choose what they’re working toward regaining.
- it will give you insight as to what’s important to them
- it will give them a sense of control
At some point in your son’s life (& you may never hear it) he’s going to tell somebody, “My dad, he was a hard-ass. But he taught me how to be a man, & a good person, & a responsible adult.”
Because that’s what it is; we teach them how to “be.” Who else do you want to that?
FWIW, the IB program is very popular in Québec with people from France and other French-speaking countries and follows a generalized curriculum common in French Lysées. It contains a 12th year of schooling (compared to high school here which ends at year 11) but allows a student to go on to University without having to go to Cégep (a 2-year post-secondary, pre-university program). A “regular” Bachelor’s degree here is 3 years (with “professional” ones like Engineering being 4 years) for students who have completed Cégep. An additional “Year Zero” (as my school called it) is added to out-of-province students, to cover general courses typically done in Cégep but not in high schools.
IB students can get certain credit hours transferred as advanced placement, particularly math, science and language courses. This can cover most or all of the “Year Zero” requirements.
There is really nothing you can do. You do not live 2 lives. You give them all the ifo you can with the proper warnings. Than hope it takes root.