My 12 year old son is barely passing 7th grade. He got his report card yesterday and yet again he got D’s in all his major subjects that require any significant homework (ie. math, history, science and english). I am divorced and he is with me approximately 25-30% of the time for one week a month and every other weekend.
Overall he is a sweet natured kid and he is not a behavioral problem, but he is easily distracted and not particularly inclined to start his homework. My ex- is in large appliance department store retail sales and typically works until 7PM + at night during the weekday as a retail salesperson, and when she gets home at 7:30 -8PM does more or less nothing to make sure he has done his homework. Mainly this is because she is tired and even if she was not, she hates the confrontation of getting him to sit down and start his work so she avoids the situation. From the time he gets home around 3:30 PM at his mothers until 8 PM when she comes home, he plays outside and watches TV or plays with the Playstation. The homework is normally not even considered until she gets home, and then he wants to eat dinner, and then he gets tired and then he goes to bed with no homework having been completed.
I have sat down with this teachers and the chorus is unamimous that he is usually missing large chunks of homework and that if only turned his homework in he would have B’s instead of D’s. The only reason he is not failing completely is that I check and make sure he does his work when he is with me. He knows I will not stand for any delay tactics or other BS when he is with me and seems almost eager to get it out of the way, but whatever dynamic he has developed with his mother and his schedule at her house makes it difficult when he is with her. I am also paying for and taking him to a tutor twice a week to help him with his math homework.
A few dilemmas.
As pissed as I am at the situation I really don’t want to get in a nuclear war with my ex as we have finally established reasonably friendly relations in the last year or so.
It’s ultimately his responsibility. At 12 years old he really should be starting his own homework.
I really have no clue what to do. My normal MO of ranting and raving about how this crap is really going to hurt him gets sad and sullen looks from him, but has done nothing to get him motivated to solve the problem.
Any suggestions appreciated.