Or since it’s a question of religion, invoke the Profound Latin technique: “Canis morsus mihi.”
Depends. Some people who are upset to learn someone is an agnostic or atheist are that way because they genuinely believe that means you’re a bad person. If that’s the case, no, she probably won’t feel friendly toward you again unless she pulls her head out of her ass and grows some sense. However, other people who are upset about such news feel that way because they earnestly believe that no matter how good a person you are, you’re still going to suffer eternal separation from them and everyone else you love, burning in hell while they’re all having a grand old time brushing each other’s wings. Those people maintain loving, friendly, supportive relationships with atheists or agnostics, despite their concerns, as one does when a loved one makes some life decision you consider foolish, ill-advised, maybe even self-destructive, but accept is none of your damn business.
I refreshed it five times and got John 3:16 twice. I have a feeling that it might not be quite as random as it claims.
Go for it!
The real reason the advice is heavily weighted to, hiding the fact, or, changing the subject, is because Christians, especially those that expect you to, ‘defend’, your choice, are so very, very pesky and obnoxious about it. Reap what you sow and all that.
Such as, “I guess there’s no way she’ll ever feel friendly toward me again, is there?” She’s talking about a relative! Who’s not going to talk to her again because she made a different spiritual choice.
Christian’s aren’t the only one’s who pull this crap, but they’re the one’s most people encounter in North America. Personally, I think they’re trying to corner the market on righteous condemnation.
Myself, I have no problem with people who choose to believe in some risen from the dead, virgin raping, zombie who wants people to get together and drink his blood and eat his flesh, whatever floats your boat, I say. Hey, it’s no goofier that Scientology!
Just don’t assume you have the moral high ground because of it, and you won’t have any problems.
Then use your own random quotes. I suggest the second quarter of Numbers 33, which is almost entirely “And they left here and stopped there.”
In my case, it depends on who is asking the question. If it’s a stranger trying to proselytize me, I reply that it is none of tehir business. If they persist, I walk way. If they keep at it once I walk away, I point out that I am larger than they are and have an anger-management problem. This used to bother me because it doesn’t speak well of agnostics, but someone like that already thinks ill of nonbelievers.
If it’s a good friend – I’m thinking of one person in particular whom I love like a sister – I am willing to have a discussion in which I point out the logical contradictions in an omnimax God, the lack of evidence for the existence of any god, the plethora of Biblical evidence that the Old Testament God was neither omniscient nor omnipotent nor even remotely benevolent, and concede that, while Jesus was a fine fellow I’d be happy to buy a cup of coffee and hang out with, the same is true of Thor and Athena. Also Athena is hotter and frankly more useful in a fight.
If it’s one of my sisters or cousins I refuse to have the discussion; we’ve had it too many times before. Likewise if it’s my father.
I think Fr. Dougal McGuire addresses it pretty well: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUhrcmC9kXI&feature=related
We tell people we are Unitarians. We don’t usually explain that means we aren’t Christians. If someone says “Unitarians are Christians” I say “many of us are. We all follow our own spiritual path.” If they press for my path, and I don’t want to have a religious discussion with them (often I do - I LOVE religious discussions - but I wouldn’t if it were my aunt), I say “one thing I belief is that beliefs are highly personal…but I assure you that there is no need for you to worry about my soul.”
I’m a bit disappointed that so many of the responses range from polite non-engagement to angry non-engagement. I do understand that some religious proselytizers themselves don’t want real engagement–they want you to accept their views, or to condemn you if you don’t. I know that. Once that’s been made abundantly clear, I agree there’s not much point in engaging with that person. But there are a lot of people out there who just haven’t been engaged in an honest, friendly discussion with someone they know personally, who believes differently. Maybe you could broaden their mind… and, who knows, you might learn something about the way they think too.
The question Why are you not a Christian, coming from anyone but family or a good friend, is inherently intrusive, frequently hostile (though in a deceptively passive way) and often controlling. Best to be polite but blunt, and if they continue, drop the politeness.
Coming from a loved one once it may or may not those things; then again, it may. It depends on the loved one. When the friend I spoke of above, “Elise,” asked me, it was from simple curiosity and love; we discussed it, had our say, and then dropped it. When my asshole father asks the question, which he does regularly in an entirely insincere attempt to have a discussion (it’s actually always the beginning of a sermon), it’s an attempt to force me to believe what he believes and do what he does. My inclination to punch men who ask me that question more than once probably stems from my refusal to punch him.
Maybe you could say something like: “Thank you for caring about me. If I’m not, it’s definitely no fault of yours.”
If someone asks me if I’m Christian, or if I go to church, or however they phrase it, I usually just say, “Oh, no, I’m evidence-based”, very matter-of-factly. They may have to think about it for a minute, but they rarely follow it up with other comments or questions.
The tone of my response came from the OP’s characterization of such a discussion as a “defense” of her belief system. In my experience, an open discussion with someone who is sincerely curious does not require you to defend yourself. And I am happy to share with someone who shows genuine interest, hell, I participated in a sociological study where he interviewed me for three or four hours about my spirituality. While we had differing beliefs, he never challenged me to “defend” myself, but he did ask some really intelligent questions.
If defending is a required component of engaging in the conversation, no thanks. I’m not wasting my time.
I just tell them I don’t believe in fairy tales.
The dumb thing is, a Christian probably would consider that an attack. Pointing out a belief system has no evidence to support it, and a great deal to contradict it, = attack. Christ on a sesame seed bun.
I’ve only had someone question my not being a Christian once, that I can recall. (The person in question was an overly nosy and hyper-religious coworker.) I basically told her that it was none of her business.
I guess I’m fortunate in that no one I really care about is interested in my spiritual beliefs.
This is by far the best response. Gracious, kind, polite, adult. No belligerence or contempt. Thumbs up, twickster!
I guess my standard response would be a surprised look and a very innocent “I don’t feel that I need to defend my beliefs”.
For future reference, do you pronounce the H in “mihi”?
Why don’t I believe in God? I have no need of that hypothesis.