I comfort myself, when dealing with college students who seem to think the point of college is to avoid education, by remembering that today’s action may have a delayed effect, and maybe an effect delayed by many years. I often fantasize that some lunkhead will look me up in retirement and thank me for having changed his life for the better years and years ago when he was a wiseassed, lazy, unmotivated, clueless failing student and I still took his asinine ideas and expressions seriously.
I deal with it by making damn sure I have jobs that don’t involve me working with other people as much as is humanly possible.
I really don’t know how you all handle the situation the OP describes. I’ve had thoughts lately of a career change; having been having to deal with doctors a lot lately, I find myself intrigued by a medical career. I always back off when I think of the exact situation DoctorJ describes:
I just couldn’t do it. I think I’d explode at the patient. All this stuff DoctorJ describes is simple & easy, but has really bad long-term issues if you don’t do it; having to deal with people who can’t lift a hand to help themselves would make me crazy.
Same with you teachers; my ex was a middle/high school teacher for a while, and every time I start to get romantic ideas about teaching I remember the stories he’d tell of the vicious little shits he had to deal with every day.
I’m here to tell you the vicious little shits exist in corporate America too. I’m a consultant specializing in technical training development/delivery and wow, just wow people are still nasty in the classroom even as adults. Clients get in on it too by being very dogmatic about delivery options, and absolutely are not interested in concepts like information retention or returns on investment. Rather than argue, I just pull together a matrix with al the plus/deltas for all delivery methods and let them make the call. After all, my bill rate is my bill rate no matter which method we use.
As for when I’m on platform, much to another poster’s point–I leave at the end of the day/session and never have to interact with those people again. So it’s not nearly as difficult to be nice since the interaction is so contained. Of course I’m not dealing with convicted murderers (at least not that I know of!).
Oh I believe it. I worked in the corporate world for a long time. Thus my current obsession with working from home and never ever ever having to deal in person with anyone but my dogs and my husband. And heck, I’ve also managed to get in the position where the people I deal with remotely are mostly sane and reasonable people, and one or two are even intelligent, witty, and a pleasure to work with. (You know who you are ;))
Let’s just hope this strange mix of luck and agoraphobia keeps up.
I believe that, as a consultant, one of my duties is to tell my client when I think he’s asking for things that are against his best interests. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. I always do my best, both in telling the customer how do I believe his interests will be best served and in implementing the solution he’s chosen (even if I reckon it’s a piece of shit).
Dealing with a client that’s directly unethical… that I do badly. One of my jobs was with a company which, judging by what I saw during that time, I’d still like to take a big flamethrower to. I still did the best I was able to do; after all, even if their production, logistics, financial, QM and EHS methods (to name the ones I could tell about) were shit, the patients still needed the meds they made. How did I deal with it? I came here and whined!
I don’t get anything as tough as you. I do get lots of stupid people, though. At least stupid people can be taught, sometimes, I tell myself. It’s the willfully stupid that make it difficult.
-
I have narrowed the focus of my practice. I no longer practice criminal law or child protection law, so no more multple murderers, rapists and child abusers.
-
For the areas I practice in (pretty much family, estates and general litigation), I make it clear to my clients in the initial retainer letter and discussion that full disclosure and honesty are required of them, that my conduct towards the opposition and the court will be one of upmost good faith and without sharp practice.
Between (1) keeping clear of the worst types of people and (2) setting requirements for the conduct of my clients and the conduct of the case, I seldom have any difficulties.
Despite the above, if I end up with a real piece of shit as a client who does nothing to violate the retainer, the odds are very much that their past and possibily ongoing conduct is relevant to the case, so we end up discussing it. In my discussions, I don’t pussy-foot around in explaining how I expect the court will perceive him or her, and how that will affect the outcome. I find dealing with the person’s problem to be more effective than ignoring it.
Ultimately, I may dump a client if my duty to my client is outweighed by my duty to the court, my duty to the laws of my jurisdiction, or my general moral duty to my fellow humans, particulary children.
Again, I’m not one who encounters the level of bad that QtM does, but everyone gets a double serving of shite on their plates at work lots of the time. I just remind myself that I am NOT what I do for a living. I am my own man, with my own goals, interests, loves and hobbies. I am a salesman 8-5 Monday through Friday. The rest of the time is mine to be whomever and whatever I want. I work to facilitate my enjoyment by having money, not to define who I am. I could do anything for a living provided that it afforded me my free time, where I am who I really am.
When I was discussing my abuse father once with my counselor, he said that he finds them really difficult to work with, and that many counselors can’t work with them. He said that he does it for the people in their lives.
Well, I’m a preschool teacher’s assistant, so I can say at least that the people I work with directly are too small to be held accountable for their behavior yet. That doesn’t mean I like all of them equally, but I know there’s still hope for even the most obnoxious.
Their parents, on the other hand… there have been a few I’ve wanted to give a good shaking. I bite my tongue a lot. Also, I think we all try to model positive behavior and hope that the less-than-stellar parents will pick up on it. I should say, though, that most of the parents I see every day are good folks who are trying hard to do a good job. That makes my job a pleasure, most days.
It’s not like you’re doing it for charity, you’re paid a lot of money to do your job. Isn’t that enough? Please don’t take this the wrong way as I’m not saying it to be critical. I’m trying to imagine myself in your position, and personally that’s what I’d be thinking about while I was doing the work to forget about any unpleasant feelings associated with it.
It is not about money. You just do the job for itself. You use your training and do it as well as you can. Every instance is an opportunity to practice and sharpen your skills. You do it well because that is who you are.
Isn’t it though? I certainly don’t think jobs are only about money. But would you do your job for 1/3 the pay? How about for no pay?
I work in a field where I see a lot of people who are facing the consequences of their behavior-- unplanned pregnancy, STDs, HIV, drug addictions and the like. Sometimes I feel like all we do is put a band-aid on their real problems, and send them off to screw up again and hurt someone else or themselves. There are also many people who are angry and ungrateful, some to the point of being hateful.
I keep my perspective mainly by acknowledging that I didn’t create their problems, so they’re not mine to solve. And, I do have a belief in karma… what goes around does indeed come around sometimes. It’s not my job to hand out justice. It’s a more like servant leadership and service to others. And for this, I earn my own karmic points, in addition to a salary.
As a recovering addict, who works with recovering addicts, I find some of them loathesome to be around.
I first practice some gratitude… Grateful that I’m not them, that I didn’t have to go to the bottoms they did. Then I really work on not being judgemental. Finally, I believe that it is my honor to be able to be of service to others, even when I don’t like them or their pasts, and I come back to gratitude.
Well, defendants come in these places,
And the defendants are all the same.
You don’t look at their faces,
And you don’t ask their names.
You don’t think of them as human,
You don’t think of them at all.
You keep your mind on the money,
And your eyes on the wall.
I’m your private lawyer,
I’ll argue for money!
Argue what you want me to argue!
I’m your private lawyer,
I argue for money!
Any old courtroom will do!
I do something like this (which is admittedly not an option for a prison doctor). Part of my job is getting people medically cleared to work in a hospital/clinic. Some people will object to this or that at first, but some never stop objecting to that Mumps vaccination or whatever. After a while, I’ll steer the conversation toward something like this:
Them: But I don’t think I should have do.
Me: Okay.
Them: I don’t have to?
Me: No.
Them: And I can still work there?
Me: Also no.
Usually at that point they either get it, or I escalate to someone with letters after their name.
Then there’s the good side that more than balances out the bad side. Yesterday I received a letter from a client: “Thank you so VERY VERY much for what you have done for me and my ex! Thanks to you, bot of us have received justice!! May god bless you as you have belssed me!” Today a client hugged me with tears of joy. It get a lot of that sort of positive feedback, so having to deal with the occasional piece of shit client does not unduely get me down. I just deal with it, and move on to the decent people whom I assist. If I primarily dealt wtih piece of shit clients and seldom dealt with decent people, then it would get me down and I would burn out. What it comes down to is that in the long term I can best do my duty to people I despise if they are only a small part of my clientelle.
I think it’s a good idea to think through the work in general and decide if it’s something you believe in. If I were offered a chance to do your job, I’d ask myself if I thought that providing health care to perps is a good thing. If the answer is no I find another job. If the answer is yes. I do the job and use the skills I learned in cognitive therapy to not upset myself about it.
I have no advice, but wanted to say I respect you for trying.