I proposed, kind of, to my husband. We went together six years and probably would never have married until we decided to go look at houses, which were cheap and plentiful back then. (I was, technically, a fiancee as I had a honkin’ big diamond ring, but I would probably have been one of those eternal fiancees who never set a date). I told him I wasn’t going to be some shackup live-in if we did find a house, if I was going to make major changes in my life, give him my share of the money and be on the title, and move out there and have the child he wanted so badly, we would have to be properly married. So he said, “ok, make any wedding arrangements you want, just tell me when and where to show up”. We found a house we wanted right away, moved all our crap in, and after a month of living in sin got married at the home of the local justice of the peace. That was 24 years ago.
Yuck! Far from it. No, but I was a blonde haired blue eyed beauty. I kept getting men who never really saw past my appearance, but who felt I was “perfect”. And for a man who just wanted the physical package, I was. Unfortunately for them I was looking for a true partnership, with a man whose interested started with my personality and intellect, and to whom the physical was just an added bene. Never found him.
There was one in particular who, when asked (in total surprise and shock at the propsal)* why* he wanted to marry me, said “I was looking at the pictures from my birthday party, and realized I was never gonna do better than you.”
Yeah, um, no thanks.
MichaelE - Just, like I said, some forethought. Anything that showed he had really tried to make the night special. A nice dinner, whether cooked or at a restaurant, flowers, even if they were daisies, a nice outfit, you know. Something that said “While I think we’re on the same page, I’m not taking this for granted; and it’s really important to me.”
I guess most of the guys described above, while assuming that my physical appearance was all they needed, also assumed that their appearance or salary, or name, or whatever, woudl be all I needed. In almost every case, I felt commodified. Retch.
I would run.
I dunno. I think it makes a difference, but I don’t really mind. It’s not that it’s necessarily better if a woman proposes, but I do find I do better in relationships where I just do my thing and let the woman decide when we are in a relationship.
Being in an area of society where I’m almost certain I’d have to propose, I’ve always assumed I’d wait until I was 100 percent certain the answer would be yes. I’ve known guys who will discuss the situation with their partner’s best friend or family before taking the plunge.
And while having someone propose to me would eliminate that uncertainty, the uncertainty is kinda part of the fun.
I think it’s fine, but I’d never do it. I’d be too scared, to be honest about it. Also I am hopelessly old-fashioned and want the guy to do it. It doesn’t have to be on one knee and I don’t want a stupid diamond, but some sort of proposal would be nice.
My boyfriend is even more old-fashioned than I am and feels uncomfortable talking about marriage in any direct fashion (even though we’re saving for a house and talk about kids and all that jazz). He once told me that he thinks it’s unromantic to talk about marriage plans - that the proposal should be a surprise. I’m pretty sure he’d be extremely surprised if I ever proposed to him, but I doubt that’s the kind of surprise he has in mind. 
Aaah, feck, I accidentally voted “I am male, and I am opposed to or bothered by a woman proposing to a man”, which is so not the case; I was aiming for “I am male, and you left out Option Y! [please explain]”.
This question is a bit hard to answer for me. I think I know *one * straight married couple of my generation, and in their case it was a mutual proposal. I always thought that it was bizarre it even mattered which partner proposed; I know there’s a lot of cultural baggage there, but in my circle of friends (which skews heavily queer and/or ‘alternative’) it’s just…not really an issue, AFAIK?
There’s nothing wrong with calling a boy. How’re they supposed to ever meet anybody? Let Grandpa hit them with the car?
So you don’t propose because you think (incorrectly, I imagine) that most guys dream of one day proposing but you also expect a guy to make a big deal out of his proposal to you? I don’t think your refusal to propose is for the guy as much as you claim it is.
I don’t know much about relationships, having enver been in one of any significance, but it seems to me the so-called traditional roles of women and men are ridiculous, and should be stamped out.
Why, if you don’t mind explaining?
He’s going to get this t-shirtand wait to meet a woman with the same shirt. They will sit together in silence and avoid eye contact for the first five or six dates. Eventually someone will say something and the rest will be history.
No, it’s really both. They are not mutually exclusive. Maybe the truth is the kind if guy I want is the kind of guy who does daydream about that.
But seriously, have any of you ever seen some of the proposals on youtube? Maybe it’s not “most guys” as I’d thought, but the species does certainly exist.
Here’s one for you, I’m not really sure who proposed to whom in my marriage. We had been living together for about 10 years and had a house, car, dog and cat. She quit her job and needed health insurance and we decided to get married so she could be on mine, but I don’t remember any big proposal or anything. We just kind of made an amendment to the MOU.
I’ve had two proposals and I’ve proposed once so I obviously can’t say that women shouldn’t propose. I think it’s just a neutral thing and doesn’t really matter who does the asking, as long as both parties are interested.
Glad to hear jsgoddess is the one to snag Asimovian. Smart woman there.
I have great taste in men.
Aaaand…my work here is done. 
I could list the things I think are only appropriate for one sex to say or do on the back of a postage stamp.
Surely you’ve heard of the Barbie Liberation Organization. They bought Teen Talk Barbies and Talking Duke G.I. Joes, then switched the speech apparatus.
Earlier coverage of the story indicated that the manufacturers offered to substitute “real” dolls for the altered ones. But none of the families wanted to switch back!
This thread is a joke, right? Please, oh, please tell me it’s a joke!
Or do you guys live in the 19th century?
As of time of writing:
Male - Would be OK if proposed to (options 1 & 2): 83
Male - Wouldn’t be OK if proposed to (options 3 & 4): 17 or 17% of both
Female - Would be OK with proposing (options 1 & 2): 59
Female - Wouldn’t be OK with proposing (options 3 & 4): 28 or 32% of both
Resolved: Women and statistics are sexist!