How Do You Form Your Identity?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I was considering this question the other day, wondering what it is people consider most salient to their identity. What are the five (random number, but it worked for me) most important groups, factions, or beliefs you identify with? What is it, that you think, makes you, you? I’m not looking for anecdotes, so much as the groups you feel you are a part of, the kinds of people you feel you could connect with. For me, it’s as follows:

  1. Reader: Before anything else, I am a reader. I love to read - doesn’t matter what it is. Fiction before bed, non-fiction while I’m at work, newspapers in the morning, the backs of shampoo bottles while I’m on the can, billboards while I’m driving, anything. Just give me something to read and I’m happy.

  2. Atheist: This one is so important to me because it was so hard to get there. I was raised in a very religious household, and only years later was able to throw off the indoctrination I had been subject to. I am proud of my beliefs, my skepticism, and the greater understanding of the world I believe it gives me.

  3. Intellectual Curiosity: I enjoy learning about nearly anything. I especially like to discuss people’s academic passions. I love it when someone can get stoked about learning something new or arguing some point. Intellectual curiosity is a huge (non-sexual) turn on; the flip side, something like a pride in ignorance and no desire to change it, sickens me.

  4. Libertarian: Once again, a set of beliefs that I had to discover. I didn’t fit in with the left or right in America: but the libertarian shoe fits perfectly. I finally had found what made sense of the world and how I looked at it and how I wanted it to be.

  5. Hetero Male: When it comes down to it, I’m a guy, and I like women.

Looking these over, in particular I see how they reflect on my choice of friends. The majority of my friends agree with me on my 3 biggest influences: they enjoy reading, are atheist, agnostic, or at the very least non-practicing whatevers, and have much intellectual curiosity. However, most of my friends are not libertarian, and plenty are neither men nor hetero, though I guess closet friends I have are straight males and tend to be neither far right nor far left wing.

How about you?

2

Let’s see, off the top of my head, I’m an…American, nerd, centrist, gentleman, heathen writer.

'First things that came to mind, in rough order of importance, depending on the day (some days I’m more of a writer than I am a nerd, and some times being a nerd crosses all national boundaries). That’s just about right, for most purposes.

3

I was thinking about starting a thread like this.

Hmm… female, Jewish, intellectual*, creative, animal-lover, maybe?

*Interested in learning, acumulating knowledge, and science

4

I made mine out of twist caps.

5

and old string… don’t forget the old string.

6

I could just quote the original post, put ‘hetero female’ and ‘non-political’ in there, and I’m good!

I do wish I could remember what I read, though. I read constantly…constantly! have done it in traffic!!!..but I think I read the way other people watch tv in the background or surf the web when they’re trying to sleep. It’s not that I don’t enjoy, and love, what I read, but as far as being able to LEARN anything…gah. I feel like a moron some days; so much input, so little output. I need to work on that. =/

7

I find that it depends on context. To give the most obvious example, among a group of Americans, I feel like being Jewish is my most obvious trait, but among an international crowd of Jews, I feel like The American.

8

Hmm, an interesting exercise, lesse,

Christian, Father, Husband, Engineer (five, you said?) wisdom seeker.

9

Hmmm… interesting to think about.

1.) I am an animal lover, through and through.

2.) I am creative. I love writing, drawing, painting-anything to be creating.

3.) I am lonely. Most all of the time, anyway.

4.) I am non-religious. Hate having it preached to me. I have no formed religious beliefs.

5.) I am soul-tired. Tired of daily struggling. Tired of just existing.

10

First off, in lieu of just insisting that “I am ME goddammit, anything else is an oversimplification”, I am voluntarily pigeonholing myself, categorizing myself, glossing over differences and emphasizing similarities. Do I do it? Yeah, HELL yeah. It’s shorthand, it conveys a lot of info without me having to start from scratch. It plays a prominent role in my choice of personal appearance, my everyday vocabulary, my repertoire of gestures. How I choose to be perceived. (It will be wrong but I have some control over which broad categories I’m most likely to get dumped into, and some are less wrong than others).

#1) Some kind of hippie / semi-countercultural / maybe a musician, maybe a software developer / longhaired dude with facial hair and dressed in jeans and t shirt. Probably a bit lefty, probably not a joiner/dues-paying member type though. Probably arrogant.

#2) Nonabrasive, nonaggressive gentle dude / maybe shy / maybe gay / introverted / or withdrawn / maybe thinks he’s mystical or something

#3) Nonchatty, he kind of goes from not saying much of anything (unless it’s work-related) straight into serious, either philosphical or talking about personal feelings & experiences. Kinda dry, verging on humorless, not stuffy or ready to be offended just doesn’t joke around much.

#4) Stubborn as hell, not about everything but after awhile you get a whiff of it, he wants things his way, and the more that things directly affect him the more he wants them his way.

#5) Batshit weird. Something is a bit OFF there. Doesn’t fully connect, misses a lot of stuff that goes on between people right around him. Maybe lonely / maybe stuck up and thinks he’s better than other people. Hints at having secrets. Every now and then says stuff that either doesn’t make sense or does, in a way, but doesn’t fit in with how you usually thing about things.

11
  1. Intensely curious - always looking for something new to learn.
  2. A nice guy but no pushover. I enjoy being kind and thoughtful.
  3. Off center in several ways…weird sense of humor, unusual interests, and so forth.
  4. Oriented toward people. I like to get to know folks.
  5. Loyal and devoted to family and friends.
12
  1. Agnostic with a strong distaste for organized religion
  2. Intellectual curiosity
  3. Pro-domestic/private/independence, anti-corporation/regiment/bulls***
  4. More interested in sensation than in narrative
  5. Affectionate
13
  1. A Christian.
  2. An intellectual.
  3. A nerd.*
  4. A musician.
  5. An introvert.

*2 and 3 are not the same thing.

14
  1. Hetero male
  2. Avid reader
  3. Martial artist
  4. Agnostic and strongly anti-organized religion
  5. Conservative
15

Interesting typo, or mixed message?

Kidding!

Nice idea for a thread. Many of my top 5 are similar to yours (with one notable exception) but in a different order.

  1. Sapient being (or nerdy brain-monkey).
  2. Gay male. This might have been lower down if it hadn’t been so difficult an issue in my first 30 years.
  3. Atheist.
  4. Small-L libertarian (leave me alone and I’ll leave you alone and maybe we can be friends or business associates but don’t force me to do stuff)
  5. Phlegmatic, not showing reactive emotions much, eschewing drama for solutions.
    Roddy
16

1.) female
2.) liberal
3.) volunteer
4.) reader
5.) baseball fan
6.) eBay enthusiast
7.) Alice Cooper fanatic

17

Wow. What a cool idea for a thread. I was talking to a couple of other moms the other night, and it’s funny how we lose our identities and become “J.P.s mom” or “R and D’s mom.” So, outside of being R and D’s mom…

#1: Researcher. I love to research. In high school, research papers were my favorite things to do. In my current job, I have to research calls all the time and find out what happened. I think that’s why this is the best job I’ve ever had.

#2: Christian. Well, mostly. I have some different beliefs from most of my church-going acquaintances: some from years of being Wiccan and from studying other religions.

#3: Musician. Music has always been a huge part of my life, and it’s been awesome watching our kids learn strings and handbells. It’s cool to know that I was able to play a huge role in their musical beginnings because of my training.

#4: Geek. People at work come to me for computer help over the IT guy. I also have responsibility for one of the major servers. I also met my husband on the internet way back when it wasn’t cool.

#5: Exercise and health fanatic. After years of thinking I was okay and letting myself go, now exercise is my release. And I’m so excited about learning all I can about good nutrition.

And just to keep faithfool company:

#6: Alice Cooper fanatic. LOVE him. Our love songs are “House of Fire” and “Poison.” I listen to him when I walk or work out. His music keeps me going, motivated and energetic. Our kids love his music as well. I have Alice Cooper: Golf Monster at my desk.

18
  1. Iron man
  2. The walrus
  3. A lineman for the county
  4. Livin’ on the air in Cincinnati
  5. A ramblin’ man
19

Didn’t have to. Theseguys did it for me.

20
  1. Black
  2. Student (when I say student, I sure do mean that term in the loosest sense…I don’t go to school.)
  3. Friend
  4. Mother
  5. Pantheist / Atheist (hard to explain, but I can, if pressed)
  6. Lover of the ghettoes and slums all over!
  7. Food lover
    8.Music lover (especially hip hop)
  8. Lover of Travel
  9. Big mama!

And although this last one doesn’t really define me as a person, I must say, I have noticed myself actually identifying as Nzinga, Seated, lately.
It struck me, because, this is the only place that I am Nzinga, Seated. No one else addresses me that way. I spend a ton of time at the dope, now that I can get it at work…it is becoming a big part of my identity.

The dopers make me laugh. Crack up to tears, nearly every day, and I appreciate that so much. Me giggling in my cube all day, I am Nzinga, Seated in those moments…not just the person that my coworkers know, but the person that the dopers know. Interesting to me.