Stereotype yourself!

In My Humble Opinion
1

There’s a lot of hot and heavy action (sorry, not that kind) going on in the Pit about stereotypes. I thought I’d come here and lighten up the subject, or perhaps just make light of it, and give us all a chance to poke a little fun at ourselves (and stereotypes) by calling out our own stereotype groups.

Mods, this is meant to be just a fun kind of play-along gag. I’m hoping it will go that way–it’s not out to make offense by stereotyping but rather make fun of stereotyping. If it just doesn’t work, feel free to kill off as needed. :slight_smile:

Let’s see…I’m:

Cherokee/Irish/German, which means I should avoid all alcohol.

Born and raised in the Appalachian area, which means I’m uneducated, inbred, racist, and prone to cooking up roadkill for dinner.

Living in Southern California for 15 years, which means I’m air-headed, fake, into New Age (or whatever is trendy religion-wise), and overly image-conscious.

A teacher, which means I’m an underachiever, underpaid, a glorified babysitter, and not particularly literate.

Christian, which means I’m small-minded, judgemental, nonscientific, intolerant, and out to convert the world.

Brunette, which means I’m not particularly pretty, but rather bookish and business-like.

The youngest-born, which means I’m a spoiled brat.

An member of an academic society, which means I’m a pretentious snob.

Whee! How fun am I? :wink:

Who’s with me?

2

Oh, silly me, I forgot I’m:

American, which means I’m boorish, crude, self-centered, ignorant of international affairs, and graceless.

3

I’m a Texan with all the rights and priveleges thereto appertaining.

4

Female, therefore overly emotional

A grad student, so I’m not interested in having a real job and only want to stay in school and drink each evening

White Southerner, so I’m a fundamentalist Christian and racist.

A dyed redhead, so I’m trendy and not comfortable enough with myself to go natural

Catholic, so I am brainwashed and only do what the church tells me to do.

A middle child, therefore a scapegoat/martyr.

but:
the only girl who was the youngest born for nearly eight yearsso I’m spoiled rotten.

a Virgo, so I’m a complete and total perfectionist who cannot stand for anything to be out of place.

Oh, and I’ve got that American thing going on too.
Yeah, I buy all that :rolleyes:

5

Hmmm, lessee.

I am British - so I am repressed, reserved, and polite to the point of being backward. I am an intellectual elitist, a represser of uppity colonials, a supporter of royalty, and rely on an archaic cultural identity in order to feel superior to the rest of the world.

I was a Public (private) Schoolboy - I got buggered mercilessly throughout my schooldays, I am overfond of cricket and rugger, I am a dreadful snob who looks down on the commoners while frittering away Daddy’s money on the Geegees. I have floppy hair and sound like Hugh Grant.

I am Short - I have a napoleon complex and am a complete despot who is always overcompensating for his lack of physical stature.

I am Gay - I am utterly fabulous snap. Anything longer than it is wide excites me unbearably, I spend my day fantasising about the butts of straight men, and I am likely to die of AIDS/old and alone with small overly-fluffy dogs in lieu of children. But in the meantime, I enjoy the benefits of wildly tasteful soft furnishings and a wardrobe to die for. Honey, you’d better watch out - I’m a bitch when provoked!

I am red-headed - fiery of temper, quick to fly off the handle, utterly bewitching and pretty gol-durned mysterious.

I am an Aries - I am bossy. That pretty much sums it up.

I work in a Homeless shelter - I am a bleeding heart liberal who thinks we should all give over our hard-earned cash to support a bunch of lazy drug addicts and alcoholics, because “nobody really understands their pain”.

I am a Poet - I waft around in a flouncy white shirt, declaring great streams of elaborate metaphors to the winds while in an opium haze. This is when I’m not down the coffee house in my beret and black turtleneck, drinking espresso, playing my bongos and discussing the relative merits of Kerouac and Jung.

I am a Punk - I have a three-foot mohican and would gob in yer face and headbutt your granma as soon as look at you.

6

I’m a middle-aged suburban white guy who likes to grill steaks in the backyard on weekends…

Is there any reason for me to go on?

7

I’m Canadian, so I’m nice, polite, and apologise ceaselessly. I also ride a moose and eat only maple syrup.

I’m half-Japanese, so I’m good at math, making vcrs, and eating raw fish. I also carry a camera wherever I go.

I’m female, so I’m volatile and emotional all the time.

I’m Christian- I’m an evil, repressive, uneducated, intolerant twit who enjoys being judgemental.

I’m fairly conservative theologically and philosophically- I’m a brainwashed slogan-spouting ignoramus. See “Christian”.

I’m a bit goth- I think I’m a vampire, wear vinyl, and smoke clove cigarettes. I’m also depressed.

I’m a brunette and I like books- uninteresting, unattractive nerd girl. I also wear glasses.

My secret Native name, given to me by lno, is She Who Bellydances With Dopers. Oh, dear.

Confusing enough? :wink:
[sub](coding fixed, because I just fell in love with LL after reading her self-description… – Uke)[/sub]

8

Bother. Screwed up the coding. Oh, well.

9

I’m …

Australian, so I love to sit around, drink beer and throw shrimps onto the barbeque.

Asian, so I study heaps and am good at maths.

A product of an all-girls private-school, so I’m stuck up and my parents buy me everything I want. On my 18th birthday, I received a Mercedes with a vanity license plate.

An Arts student, so I protest a lot, and have little chance of being employed in the future. :slight_smile:

Into designer clothes, so I’m a label whore who fritters away my money. I may also be vain and shallow.

10

hmmmm… lemme think

-I’m a computer geek… so fat, unhealthy, unattractive, and can only talk about one topic. (reality, 6’0" 175lbs, can bench more than I weigh, and I like to entertain the idea that I’m not-bad-looking, and I read a LOT more than just computer stuff)

-I’m a white male with a shaved head and goatee… so I’m either a) neo-nazy ass-hat or b) trendy loser that blindly follows all the other sheep. (reality, I shave my head to save time in the morning and I don’t like the way my hair looks… and the goatee I’ve had since I was 17, well before it was trendy, I grow it because I don’t like shaving that part of my face)

-I live just outside of Boston… so I’m a Mass-hole, black jeans, bad driving, rude, uneducated, and a slew of other insults… (in reality, I grew up in michigan… people out here actually do need to learn to drive, and I don’t think pleasure reading is high on the average persons todo list :wink:

-I carry a cell phone on me 24.x.7… so I’m one of the jerk-offs that annoys people in theaters, drives without paying attention, talks loudly into a substandard phone at inopertune times. (reality, I don’t really drive that much and always pull over if I have to talk on my phone, I always put it on silent-mode if I’m in a theater and leave the theater if I have to answer… oh yeah, and my cell phone isn’t substandard, it’s top of the line and I can softly whisper and the person on the other end can hear me just fine :wink:

-I enjoy hanging out in pool halls shooting stick… so I’m a smoker and a drinker and I waste time planning out newtonian based chain reactions for fun while bumping a little white ball with a $300 stick. (reality, yeah.)

-I’m a Sysadmin… so I’m the genuine BOFH (clickety clickety click), I enjoy watching my (l)users stumble through questions just so I can simply correct the problem (or not) to make them feel stupid… I swap stories with other BOFH’s about stupid (l)user stories… I am the worst nightmare of anyone that knows less about computers than I do. I intentionally screw things up on your computer and delete your files just to punish you for breathing. (reality, I always correct the problem, and I’m damn carfeul about keeping backups of the backups, never lose a file… :wink:

11

I’m Female: So I’m weak.

I’m a Nursing Mother: So I like to go out in public and wave my bare breasts around.

I’m Redheaded: So I can’t even go outside without getting a terrible sunburn.

I Live in New Jersey: So I’m an idiot who doesn’t know any better.

I’m a High(ish) Post-Count Doper: So my posts have no quality–only quantity.

I’m Fat: So I’m lazy and unattractive.

I’m Married: So I must have so little faith in my relationship that I need a “piece of paper.”

I’m an Environmentalist: So I’m a granola-eating tree hugger who has no grasp of reality.

Oo. That was fun.

12

Hmmm…shaved head & goatee, huh, bobo? Step into my office. :wink:

I’m:

From the NYC area, so I sound like Fran Drescher, have my daddy buy me a new BMW every year, and am rude beyond compare.

In my 20’s, so I don’t know how hard life can really be & hang out & smoke weed & drink on a constant basis.

Physically disabled, so I’m one of those annoying activists who wants people to bow to me & make all sorts of unreasonable concessions to my problems just because I’m a cripple.

I’m also of Irish, Scottish, & Sicilian descent so I am/have (in no particular order):

A drunkard

At least one Sal, Connie, Anthony, Maria, Vincenzo, & Nunzio in my family tree

Cheap

In the Mafia

Have relatives who’re in the Mafia

Potatoes & pasta for all meals

A father who threatens all my dates that they might meet with an “unfortunate accident” if they don’t happen to treat his little girl right

13

Oooh, I forgot. I’m also;

Studying to be a teacher, so I’ll be one of those idealistic idiots who complains that I don’t get paid a king’s ransom for my job & has an inflated ego

And I

Have a pierced tongue & am considering getting a bull-ring and/or a tattoo, so I’m looking to fellate every man I meet and/or have some sort of weird pain fetish/body image issues

& Have red (reddish?) hair, so if I didn’t get the bad temper from being Irish, I got it from the red hair (which came from the Sicilian side, incidentally).

I also listen to some goth, industrial, & punk/neo-punk, as well as occasionally dress gothy, so I’m a disaffected young adult who worships Satan & wants to drink your blood or that of your black cat, all the while shouting things like, “F–k the establishment!”.

Oh, and I’m a female poet, so I’m bitter, depressed, & cynical but lovelorn, & want to do myself in with something found in the kitchen (knives, ovens, whatever), but my despair makes for great work.

14

This should be fun :slight_smile:

I’m a(n):

Christian, which means I’m evil, judgmental, mean spirited, narrow minded and intolerant,

Pro-Life, which means I’m a control freak and unsympathetic to women worldwide who are dominated and controlled by men,

Redhead, which means I’m hot tempered and I’ll nail anything with a pulse,

Only Child, which means I’m a spoiled brat,

Southern, which means I’m a racist,

Resident of West Virginia, which means I’m inbred, missing teeth, illiterate and married to my cousin,

Fat, which of course means I’m lazy,

Virgo, which means I’m a nitpicky control freak bent on perfection,

Irish, which means I have a bad temper and I’m a drunk,

White, which means my ancestors held the black man in slavery,

American, which means I think only one country in the world matters and the rest of the planet better hurry up and be like us.

15

I’m a woman, so I use sex as barter
I’m a nurse, so I’m an angel of mercy
I’m a mother to a 16 year old girl, so I worry about her drug use/pregancies/cell phone bills
I’ve read a book, so I’m smart
I don’t have any pets, so I’m a cold person
I’m Hispanic, so I speak Spanish
I listen to Country music, so I’m stupid
I’m a California girl, so I’m tanned and I can surf
I’m married to a younger man; he’s my boytoy

16

Grew up in Maui, Hawaii
So I surfed and smoked the best bud in the world all day and night.
Father of 5
So I’m Mormen, Catholic, or careless.
Overweight
So I eat only Cheeseburgers and candy. And I sweat a lot.
Christain, pro-life church goer.
So I am intolerant, non-cussing, nose in the air, self rightous, rock music hating, clinic-bombing, book burning, faciest.

17

I’m White so I hate everybody else.
I’m male so I hate everybody else.
I’m bald so I must be ashamed of my appearence.
I’m a** bit thick** so I must not eat properly or excersise.
I’m a bad speller so I must be to lazy to look up words that might be wrong.
I like NASCAR so I must be white trash.
I’m white trash so I must live in a trailor park.
I watch “wrasslin” so I must be an illiterate moron with an 8th grade eduumucation.
I take pride in the fact that I’m half german and half english so I must be a neo-nazi that eats tea and crumpets while I fart on Jews.
I live in Nebraska so I must be an asshole 'husker fan.
I listen to punk but I’m about as far from the stereotypical punk rocker as a person can be, so I must be the biggest poser in the world.
I live with my girlfriend and her 2 kids,1 of mine in the summer and we share 1, so I must be afraid of commitment, or sewing my seeds, or typical trailor park,whitetrash,white guy.
I read the SDMB often so I must be an elitist snob and if you dont agree with me you are in high school or are just stupid. I must ask for a site that proves me wrong.
dead0man

18

Hmmm…

I’m of Irish, Scottish and German descent, which means I like to get whooping drunk but don’t want to pay for it. The Scottish heritage also means that I regularly consume enough sugar to dissolve a bulldozer in a matter of hours, enough deep-fat-fried food items to kill a hippopotamus, and eat candy bars like they were sandwiches, although this may be the American creeping in. Oh yes, and I own a kilt and know how to use it.

I’m from Illinois, which means I drive like a stunt double (actually, this is true.)

I go snowboarding whenever I can, which means I’m a slow-witted headbanging pot-smoking mama’s garage dwelling slope jerk who talks in incomprehensible lingo, even during job interviews.

I used to love going to metal concerts, therefore I’m a hog-riding, sweating ignoramus with a lot of tattoos and possible racist - oh wait, I’m female. Therefore, I wear a surly expression and a halter top in an “evil” color such as black, red or purple, and can be seen hanging off the arm of my boyfriend, who is a hog-riding, sweating ignoramus with a lot of tattoos and possible racist leanings.

I’m, technically, a teenage girl, which means I’m giving Anna-Nicole Smith a run for her money in the vapid market.

I’m an English major, which means I’m either a pretentious student poet with pseudo-beatnik aspirations and delusions of grandeur, or an aimless young female who maybe wants to teach grade-school children.

I’m a lesbian which means I’m chunky, own several pampered and overly fluffy cats, play acoustic guitar, wear only tank tops and pants cut off at mid-calf (this may just be a regional thing), have either short and Kool-Aid dyed hair or a shaved head, and have no discernable taste in music. Or I’m a hog-riding, sweating ignoramus with a lot of tattoos and a rainbow flag sticker on my bike. :cool:

And I’m American, which has been done many times and much better in this thread already.

19

I have big feet…

20

So you must spend a lot of money on shoes?..