When Worlds Collide: List your 2 most contradictory identities

For me, it would be:
**
Hip-Hop Fanatic / Organic Gardener**

or,

I came to bring the pain, hardcore from the brain,
Marigolds make bean beetles more tame.

Just trying to imagine a joint convention with these two crowds cracks me up. Well, lots of dreadlocks to be found in both groups. What are the two most different worlds that you manage to mix in your life?

I guess it’s Gay anime porn enthusiast/Librarian and avid embroiderer.

But then, I get “You don’t look like a librarian…” a lot.

I am a liberal who wishes to join the police force if that counts.

Doesn’t that one get old fast? I try to be amused but have been known to tell people I left my snood and pince nez at home.
Sorry for the hijack…

Veb

PhD in Sociology of Relgion/tap-dancer

Tutor for middle school math/drug user.

As I teach 6th-8th graders how to factor, I often think, “I wonder what this kid/this kid’s parents would think if they knew what I’m going to be doing a couple of hours from now”. I mean, one hour I might be teaching a little kid about graphing lines, and then the next hour I might be doing lines. How weird is that?

(Actually, since I started the tutor job I’ve only used marijuana, DXM and nitrous. Still…)

I should add that there’s not much weirder than a yaoi-enthusiast librarian.

Bleeding heart liberal/rabid, anti-government-school home schooler

I think that’s pretty darn weird, but it is what it is.

Nice Orthodox Jewish Girl (with strong Jewish Mother tendencies)/train in tae kwon do 4 times a week (promoting to brown belt this summer!).

Nice Orthodox Jewish Girls never wear pants in public, are never visibly aggressive, don’t touch men (technically, don’t touch them affectionately, but most of my peers are quite strict and pretty much don’t touch unrelated men at all,) and always act reasonably feminine and nurturing. When I took up martial arts, everybody who knew me was stunned.

FWIW, I wear pants when doing an activity that would be dangerous to my health to do in a skirt, like tae kwon do or skiing. I touch men in order to beat them up or throw them around ;), although honestly it’s difficult sometimes to not affectionately touch my friends whom I punch, throw whatever, because I’m so used to physical contact with them now. I have to stop myself sometimes, which was never an issue for me before I started training.

Even now, as we were driving home from class today, one of my non-Jewish friends said, “You know, it’s really surprising that you take tae kwon do,” and he and I have trained together for almost two years.

But sometimes, I bring baked goods to class, like the Jewish Mother I’m rapidly becoming. When I promote to a new belt, I invite my Jewish, non-tae kwon do friends to a Sabbath meal themed around that color. (You try to make a three course, totally nondairy meal in red. With no tomatoes, because I hate tomatoes.) And sometimes, when I don’t feel like changing fully after class, I walk home in my gi top and a skirt - I love the looks I get. I suppose it’s my way of fusing the two.

Regular, involved, churchgoer/hard rock lover (especially Alice Cooper)

Okay, so 'ol Alice has said publicly that he’s Christian, still the two just don’t quite mix, ya know?

Strict Atheist who uses the word ‘god’ a lot and is a slave to superstition.

Hip Hop producer / PhD candidate in Literature

Ph.D. in English/Lego fanatic

Life-long atheist / Christian wedding minister with over 400 ceremonies under his belt.

I don’t know if this counts, but I clearly remember one afternoon watching TV and flipping between professional wrestling and Martha Stewart. Sometimes I wish I were a Nielsen family.

Former moll/active volunteer at foster care programs and the local zoo.

… at the same time? Do your, er, clients know this?

fanatical videogamer / insatiable bookworm
honest, puncutal worker / shameless unemployment collector
any of my music tastes / any of my other music tastes

Computer programmer / obsessed with Japan and Japanese culture

Wait, that’s not so contradictory, is it? How about

Sarcastic and surly hipster-wannabe / Huge fan of Disney theme parks

Shakespeare enthusiast/NASCAR fan.

Top that.