I read a really interesting ditty on worry. Can’t remember where, but I shall paraphrase ( it was possibly a half a paragraph.)
When we focus on worrying, it is akin to being stuck in the mud. Worrying prevents us from doing things that we know we can do.
I honestly believe that some people worry, worry, worry, worry and fester, fester, fester over things that are beyond their control because it enables them to avoid doing positive things for themselves.
Some people live for the permanent martyr/victim role, I’ve decided. These people should be avoided like the plague. They tend to breed at least one child just like them.
As for money, we will never have enough of it.
carlotta outlined a great approach, IMO. Another thing I always try to remember when faced with a shitstorm either at work or in my personal life, is that eventually and inevitably, the storm will pass. Things may veer wildly out of control and the manure may be flying all over the place, but it will pass in time.
I have also chosen a couple of hobbies that I care very deeply about to focus on during times that I might otherwise spend worrying.
As I’ve gone through school, it has been the trend to appear stressed, miserable and on the verge of a breakdown. Any sign of happiness or enjoyment is treated as unnatural, and the cheerful person is made to feel inferior or less ‘mature’ for not being grouchy and tearful. You are allowed to feel joy in the things around you, you are not obliged to worry just because everyone else seems to be worrying. I learnt to stop feeling guilty just because I was cheerful and see that the behaviour of the people around me was, on the whole, attention seeking or self indulgence.
BTW, I am in no way mocking people who are genuinely miserable, or trying to triviallise real problems. This is just what I have learnt from spending seven years with a number of highly strung and intelligent teenage girls who choose to be angsty and make everyone else miserable at the same time.
[quote] I mock the people who are making the world crazy and mixed-up
[quote]
As I’ve gone through school, it has been the trend to appear stressed, miserable and on the verge of a breakdown. Any sign of happiness or enjoyment is treated as unnatural, and the cheerful person is made to feel inferior or less ‘mature’ for not being grouchy and tearful. You are allowed to feel joy in the things around you, you are not obliged to worry just because everyone else seems to be worrying. I learnt to stop feeling guilty because I was cheerful and see that the behaviour of the people around me was, on the whole, attention seeking or self indulging.
BTW, I am in no way mocking people who are genuinely miserable or triviallising real problems. This is just what I have learnt from spending seven years with a number of highly strung and intelligent teenage girls who choose to be angsty
My neighbor for years is always happy, smiling only has nice things to say & keeps a real nice house, her clothes perfect. Loves wearing white too. Absolutely clean house. I couldn’t think of a more happy person.
July 1st she was waundering the neighborhood completely naked & the cops arrested her & put her in the psych ward. That really got to me, but she is home again & looks happy.
Drinking, the occasional use of other substances, and lowering my expectations of Americans and other humans below that of other mammals. Also, a bucket full of cynicism, and truckload of strange humor help tremendously.
Things that make me feel better when depressed, lonely, anxious, what have you:
-Bug a family member, preferably Quantum Sister. I’ve always had close ties with my family, which is a Good Thing.
-Listen to music. It really does calm the savage beast.
-Go out in the sun and pet the dog. Endeavor to avoid being licked.
-Create something. I like baking, though beading and calligraphy work too. Seeing something that YOU made is a wonderful antidote to the “I’m not worth anything” blues, plus you have to concentrate on the work rather than your worries.
-Find something funny. Like a Scylla or Wang-Ka OP I particularly like humor making fun of tense world situations; there’s nothing I can do about them, so I might as well laugh at them!
-For angry I-wanna-kill-something feelings, I play games like WarCraft III or Jedi Outcast. Something that’ll let me vent my anger on virtual objects. BWAHAHAHA take THAT stormtroopers!
Have a sense of humor. Do what you enjoy doing (as long as you’re not hurting anyone else) and don’t worry about whether your friends will think it’s trendy or “kewl” or not. Ultimately trendy doesn’t really matter. It all just changes in a few weeks anyway.
Don’t rush yourself if you don’t have to. Yeah, you’ll have to haul your buns if you’re late to work or there’s a deadline or something, but otherwise the world isn’t going to come to an end if you decide to spend 20 minutes watching the sunset instead of getting your houselhold chores completed by 8:00 pm.
Don’t mind other people’s business unless someone is in danger or unless someone asks you for advice. Control freaks just make themselves and everyone around them miserable. Learn to live and let live, even if you don’t approve of everything others do.
Get some books on history and read them. Yes, I know a lot of what you read will probably be depressing, but at least it will help you put your own life and times into perspective. Plus, when someone complains about how the world is going to Hell in a handbasket you get to just roll your eyes and say “Oh, please, that’s been happening since 1648. We should be there by now.”
I feel I am happy because I have God in my life. WIthout Him I would be miserable. He keeps me sane during all the storms of my life and keeps me grounded as a parent. I need Him to survive!
