The dog goes in the hallway. Granted, he keeps bumping into the door and making noise till we let him in, but that’s ok - drowns us out so no one else hears.
We used to have a part wolf dog that would howl at the climactic moment. That takes some getting used to.
'im indoors won’t even entertain the notion of getting up to anything if the cat’s watching. He’s obviously worried that she’ll point and laugh.
We have a cat who’s rather, well, curious. Depending on how… distracted we are, we either push her off the bed or ignore her altogether.
Have sex on the couch instead?
Are you kidding?, people in cheap motels voluntarily give their hard-earned quarters for a few minutes of a bumping bed while they have sex.
Meh, any guy who’s turned off by a gal not having her pubes shaved the right way (assuming the way she does have them shaved doesn’t cause chaffing issues) probably has some other “issues” will turn out to be unpleasant.
I’ve had a cold doggie nose shoved up my butt whilst I was getting my thang on on, and it’s a bit of a shock, but we simply batted the dog away, laughed hysterically and continued on. I’ve also had a kitten curl up on my back while I was workin’, and the only problem was shifting around so that the kitten could be removed before she started sliding and whipped out the old claws to stabilize herself.
Never had this come up with a dog, but my cat used to watch. I had a king size bed in an old waterbed frame. The kind with the headboard with the mirror and shelves and such. He usually would just jump up on top of the headboard and watch or nap. Sometimes he would lay on one side of the bed, being kingsize there was plenty of room so that we didn’t really notice him.
I’m not sure what my dog thinks is happening when I have sex, but he doesn’t like it. I think he thinks I’m being attacked or harmed. (I, um, make a little noise.) He’s much too gentle and polite to actually defend me, but he definitely gets worried.
He stands beside the bed and looks on with a wrinkled brow. If you don’t pay attention to this, he starts to cry. Then he starts to paw the side of the bed. His anxiety increases with the intensity of the sex, until he’s barking and bristling and at the climactic moment.
Impossible to ignore. Out he goes. Back when I was married and getting some, putting the dog outside was one of the ways we’d signal to each other that we were in the mood.
Are you sure that wasn’t you?
I read, long ago, that Napoleon was once bitten by Josephine’s dog when he jumped in bed a bit too aggressively for some imperial lovin’.
We’ve got a 60 lb. dog whose personality is akin to that of a toddler, and of course she only sort of understands sex. Actually, she understands sex as Mommy and Daddy are trying to make a new baby* (this goes for when I’m menstruating as well) unless we really get into it, and then she has to make sure that Mommy and Daddy aren’t hurting each other. We’ve never really tried the whole “shutting her out of the room” thing, as, well, we were almost living together by the time we got her, and she’s already proven that would have been a very bad idea. Only rule, however, is that she is not allowed on the bed. If she gets on the bed before we’re done, she gets moved off quickly by one of us without comment. After we’re done, she gets to come hang out on the bed, because apparently this is time to reassure her that she is our spoiled little dog and we’re not replacing her.
[sub]*Sounds weird, but she hasn’t fully convinced herself that she’s not human… and, of course, of the fact that she’s not a puppy anymore. There are still days when she reverts to puppy behavior and personality, but they’re becoming more rare as time goes on. Neither the TashiBoy nor I have human children. The dog and the guinea pig are enough responsibility.[/sub]
I’ll also take exception to the comment about cats. My girlfriend (who is not much of a cat person) was initially wary when the fuzzy black land shark jumped onto my bed during our evening exercises. He curled up at the end, trying to get comfortable on the jiggling surface. After a few minutes of that, he gave us a brief dirty look and jumped back down to sleep on the floor, ignoring us. When we were done, he rejoined us in bed and slept in his preferred spot. Basically it’s a non-issue.
Tiny dog or freakishly big feet? You decide. 
I read this in a book about dogs in history, and IIRC, it was A, on their wedding night and B - the dog bit him in his bony part.
Those of you with cats might like to purr-chase this lovely book.
My boyfriend has a dog (a Beagle) who likes to be on the bed with us, and is also something of a compulsive licker. We deal with it by pushing her off the bed: she’ll jump back up every now and then, but we just keep pushing her off and we’ve always been able to do what we want to do. I think she’s been curled up at the foot of the bed once or twice “during,” but that doesn’t bother either of us. My boyfriend is on the quiet side during sex, and I’m sure it helps that he’s not the one being “hurt.”
When we’re done we tend to lie together naked for a while, and that’s when we let her back up on the bed and we take turns petting her. It can be a little awkward when she suddenly licks something other than a hand or a face ( :eek: ), but so far it’s been working out ok.
My dog (for some strange reason) doesn’t like PDAs. Everytime he sees me so much as hug another person he starts to growl. I can imagine he’d probably go apeshit if he saw me “get’n my groove on.” so to speak.
I say just keep the dog outside the room then let him back in when your done.
Hypotheticaly of course. 
Your sentence construction still lends itself quite readily to some interpretations that you might deem unfortunate.
To answer what I assume is your actual question: our chihuahua is insanely jealous, with a full-blown Electra Complex obsession. Yep, I’m hers, and never mind sex per se, if I so much as try to hold hands or bring my face within kissing range of She Who is Most Nibbleworthy, here comes the puppynose, Ms Nibs gets ascended like a promontory, and from that vantage point the chihuahua does what she can to fend me off or distract me. {Pay attention to ME, not HER. Any attention is good, even if you’re pissed off}
I have no really good answers aside from locking the canine in the bathroom for the duration and putting the music up loud.
Our cats like to dig up the carpeting by closed doors, so we always have ours open. Sometimes someone will wander in and try to get “front row center” seats for all the action, but usually the dirty talk turns them off and they just skulk away shaking their little kitty heads.
My dog is freaked out by us having sex and she goes and hides in my walk-in closet. In fact, she ensconces her 85 lb. self into my steamer trunk of sweaters. It’s a bit odd but we laugh about it. Poor doggy! She tends to react strongly to any show of emotion by me.
The cats, however, sometimes lay on the bed through the whole thing. My cat Harley won’t get up for anyone unless he wants to, so we just ignore him as long as he doesn’t get in the way. He seems completely indifferent.
My boyfriend’s cat will bite our feet during sex, though, when he’s in a jerkish mood. I could live without that.
Kick it (the dog, not the boyfriend) out of the room for the duration, maybe with a rawhide chew to keep it occupied. It’ll figure it out. Afterward, it’s not really an issue (at least for me) if the dog wants to sleep on the bed, so long as it stays down at the foot and doesn’t deliberately try to take up all the real estate. Now, I’d be concerned for other reasons if the dog can’t be parted from the owner or vice versa, even for a few minutes (or hopefully, a couple of hours) but that’s a wolf of a different color, if you follow my meaning.
The whole “not having the right style of pube” thing sounds like a dodge to me. I haven’t read the thread (nor can I admit any interest in searching for it) but seriously, if I’ve gotten to the point of intimacy that I know what the area in question looks like and everything else is going okay (i.e. no crying fits, revelations of childhood molestation, festering sores, et cetera) I’m not really going to factor the caretaking of The Black Forest (or Red, or Blonde, or whatever) as a significant decision maker. I have to suspect that anyone who takes issue with something of that nature has some deeper issues than a bit of grooming will take care of.
Stranger