In a week I will be flying down to Texas to see my great good friend who is dying of cancer. She has stage 4 glioblastoma. Her tumor is on her brain stem, as I understand it, and she has completed a round of chemo and radiation. Which her doctors told her was a course of action they took to slow the cancer down enough to allow her to get her affairs in order.
I have two days with her. I left Texas almost 12 years ago and I haven’t physically seen her since. She and I spent many years talking once every six months or so with every conversation ending with us saying how stupid it was that we only talk every six months!
So, last year we actually started talking more frequently and maybe that was the universe sending a message because three months ago she was diagnosed with her cancer.
What I want to know is, how do I… what do I… what should I do for my friend… what should I do for myself when I get there? Have any of you had to do this? How do you do this? I want to have as few regrets as possible.
I know I can trust her to tell me what she needs as I know she is very affected by the cancer. What should I be prepared for? I’m not afraid of how she’s going to look or what the physical manifestations are, I just want to know what I can do to make everything as comfortable for her as possible. I don’t want her to be worried about me, for example, when she has to take several naps during the day. I don’t want her thinking I’m put off by what cancer does to you. I want to be prepared for the reality on the ground so that I can help her not have to worry about me, and so that I can be a good friend to her when I am there. I just want to be able to care for her as much as I can, and I don’t know what to expect with cancer.
Has anyone had to do something like this? Where you know that you only have two days to say goodbye to one of your best friends? How do you do this? I know that I will just ask her what she wants. If she wants to talk about it, we’ll talk about it. If she just wants me to be funny, I’ll be funny. I know she’ll guide me, but I could really use some guidance from you all.