There are always things that are beneficial or need to be done. Cleaning, a hundred chores, going to the gym, work, eating better, resolutions and responsibilities.
What things do you most dislike doing? What techniques do you use to motivate yourself to do them: visualizing the improvement, habit, small rewards… whatever you do, this is the thread to say what works for you, or anything else about motivation.
Reduce the energy barrier. Cleaning the entire house is exhausting and I’m likely to procrastinate. But I can load the dishwasher or wipe the counter or pick up the cat toys. I always have the motivation to spend 30 seconds on something. And usually I end up spending much longer than that, just because I have some momentum going.
Doesn’t work for everything, like going to the gym (presuming that you have to drive there, and that probably adds 20 minutes even if it’s close). But you can keep some free weights around and do a few reps when you have a moment.
Making chores a physical obstacle is also helpful. Maybe I don’t want to take the trash out right now. But I can put the bag in front of the door and take it out the next time I leave.
Like Dr. Strangelove, I do best if I don’t approach a big task head-on. If I can convince myself to just do one quick thing, the odds are good that I’ll do one more thing, and then another. The trick is to be sure I have plenty of time open so I won’t be forced to stop and do something else.
For me, I do better if I kind of let chores pile up and tackle them all in one day. Like I’m the cleaner/handyman who comes once a week to take care of Zipper’s House. Disassociation, I guess.
Although I do try to do more little stuff in 30 seconds these days. I have realized that standing idly next to the door waiting for the dogs to come in once I’ve finished my cigarette is time I could be spending doing anything else in the kitchen.
Speaking of dogs they are a great motivator. They motivate me to exercise daily and to get out of bed every day.
I do tackle my massive cleaning sessions either while listening to a podcast, or in the summer listening to a baseball game. Baseball is 3 hours every day, 6-7 days a week. I actually find myself putting off projects in March so I can tackle them during the season. I tend not to be idle while I listen.
Also for other motivation, I scream and curse at myself internally. My inner voice is an asshole.
I bought a Time Timer. You can get them for like $20 on Amazon. Little plastic timer with a dial that lets you see at a glance how much time is left in the “pie” slice. I started using it, my husband started using it, we now own four and he recommends them to his clients with ADHD or other motivational issues. It is really hard for me to get started on things, that is my executive function weakness, but if I just set it to five or fifteen minutes I can start making momentum. As a lot of people have said, but this is a really good tool specifically for that purpose.
I have started keeping a little journal. It’s a 5’‘x3’’ notebook that I carry with me everywhere I possibly can and try to write in it every time I want to use my phone. I’ve tried electronic journals with no luck, and the big notebooks are too intimidating, but at this size, it is the perfect little solution-focused tool. Even when I’m writing about heavy issues, the reduced space makes it extremely efficient emoting. So I’m going through medication withdrawal right now (not my fault. My pharmacy’s fault.) Last night I knew this was coming today, so I wrote in my notebook what my plan was for dealing with withdrawal today. That’s what I mean by “solution focused.”
Of course when I first started this I was like, “How can I carry a notebook around with me all the time?” but my phone is in fact bigger than the notebook and I carry that around with me all the time anyway.
One way I’ve found to get through extremely hard-to-focus days (bad depression, anxiety or ADHD) is to allow myself 15 minutes between tasks. It takes forever, I know, but I end up getting more done than I otherwise would have if I’d just given in to inertia. So I will get up, eat breakfast. Set the Time Timer for 15 minutes. At the end of the 15 minutes, do the dishes. Set the timer for 15 minutes again. Put away laundry. Etc. Etc. It helps because one thing I really struggle with, in addition to task initiation, is task switching. So it gives me this transition period to prepare for what I’m about to do next.
I’ve learned with ADHD everybody has to find their own thing that works because we are on that neurological spectrum, some people don’t struggle with task initiation but may have a hard time with something else. My other friend with ADHD recently implemented a thing where he gives himself an “ADHD Hour” every morning to let his brain jump down whatever rabbit hole it wants to go down, so he can get it out of the way for the rest of the day, and honestly, that would destroy me. I have a hard enough time getting started as it is.
One thing I’m trying (still a work in progress) is to just do my to-dos in the order they appear. I struggle with prioritizing, for example at my job I have deadlines which are like giant flashing neon lights in my brain, and then I have a lot of small stuff that doesn’t have deadlines which doesn’t necessarily get done. So what happens? Two months go by and the small stuff doesn’t get done. It takes 20 minutes or an hour but it sits there on the docket for months.
So I just decided to go through my task list from top to bottom without even considering how “important” I thought it was and I burned through a ton of backlogged tasks.
I thought about doing this because I was reading a book about the importance of reducing the number of decisions you have to make in a given day. I asked myself how much mental anguish goes in to figuring out what task to do next, and what if I could just get rid of that part of the process?
It’s a work in progress, especially when I’m pressed for deadlines, but it bears practicing at least once a week.
Pressure is my great motivator. Empty fridge? Dirty bathroom? Loathe dusting? Invite someone over for dinner or to spend the weekend. That shit will get done.
For me, it’s like others have said: break down big projects into little ones and focus on them one at a time. That’s the absolute biggest thing for myself. If the situation allows, stick some AirPods in, listen to some good music, understand that the task is going to take awhile, and just focus on the moment. I find this makes time go by a lot faster than thinking about the big picture and how much stuff still needs to be done after finishing this one task. And after finishing the task, there’s a great sense of accomplishment, which is motivational for completing the bigger picture.
Also, just taking that first step to start doing something you don’t want to do. This takes a bit of will power and focus, but putting away the SDMB or Youtube videos or whatever the hell I’d rather be doing. I find that after about a half hour or so of getting into the task, I just want to complete it. It was the same with me when I used to run a lot. That first mile or two just sucked, but then I got into the rhythm and started enjoying it, and the next four to ten miles were easy. Just getting that little bit of momentum going is great, but that first kick to overcome the static friction was the hardest. Imagine pushing a boulder down a hill, and the initial energy involved in that, and the slow roll that starts the boulder. It’s like that for me.
If these are recurring tasks, then also settling into a routine is helpful. Like before I go to sleep, I always get the dishwasher going (ok, almost always). It’s something I just set for myself, and started doing. First few weeks it was touch-and-go, but after a couple weeks, it just became routine such that I feel uncomfortable if I don’t have the dishes in the wash. This is very different than how I was just two years ago. I decided I was sick of nobody keeping up the house, and since it was me most bothered by it and had the most free time to do it, I had to be the one to control my environment and learn how to motivate myself and keep a routine going. And now everybody is happier in the house. And I mentally feel much better that there’s more order, so there is that feedback that helps motivate me in the future.
I wear boots so I don’t have to think about what color of socks to wear. I have four colors in my closet so I don’t have to think about what is going to match. Every decision I don’t have to make helps me flow through my day.
In addition to the suggestions above, many of which I utilize to some extent, there’s the path of least resistance method.
Hard to motivate myself to travel to the gym in the dead of winter, with the car frozen and cycling dangerous? Buy a pullup bar and a set of heavy adjustable dumbbells. Picking up the weights becomes easy as drinking tap water, you never have to wait for your turn, or adjust the weights like you need them to be (except for personal improvement) etc.
My solution for that is that I only have black socks. 
I’m not kidding. All black. And I don’t even pair them up most of the time. You can’t see their tops, anyway.
My work clothes are similar: black pants. black shirt (either button-down or polo.) I don’t go into an office every day, though, so nobody really knows that’s all I wear.
I have one pair of Saucony black shoes I wear out, even with my dress clothes. Normally, though, I’d have a colorful pair of sneakers, as I do love colorful shoes, I just haven’t gotten around to replacing my worn-out ones in years. Casual pants? Always jeans. Grab whatever tee-shirt isn’t dirty and then wear a sweater shirt or flannel over it if it’s cooler out. The amount of time I spend on my wardrobe in a day is maybe a minute. I’m a guy, so maybe that explains it.
Why bother? (mine are white cotton)
I know that towels and face clothes fade differently so I don’t mess around with worrying about having matching towels, I have different colored towels that match my old lady colors and can just grab from the linen closet without worrying about matching.
Life is easier with fewer decisions.
I use a schedule. “This is when X happens. Just do it.”
e.g. I dislike doing laundry. But my wife hates it, so by default I win the task.
Friday evening, I bring the hampers down and sort by type. Saturday morning, I start with the load of items that’s washed cold and then must be hung instead of going into the dryer. And so on. Monday evening, fold.
It’s a set routine. If I diverge, I get all cattywampus and I’m in trouble. It has to be like this, and I’m fine to get it done.
Your job sounds like my job, and this is a great idea. I’ll try it today!
One summer I worked as a waitress and managed a t-shirt shop, and I once told my current boss that my job now is like doing both of those simultaneously. I’ll be counting inventory and placing a big order when somebody taps me on the elbow to ask for a straw. The little things really mess with the concentration I need for the big things, but the little things are the ones that sometimes have to be done NOW.
I have two strategies that I use for doing household chores. One is 15/15 where I set a timer and just do something like fold the laundry or vacuum for 15 minutes. Then, when the timer goes off, I set it again for another 15 minutes and sit on the computer or watch tv or whatever. Then another 15 minutes of chores, 15 mins rest…
The other is 10/10 which I use for tidying. So I’ll pick up or put away 10 things or do 10 things. For example if I had lunch in front of the tv and I’ve left a glass there, that’s one thing to carry to the dishwasher, socks on the floor into the hamper is two things. Then 10 minutes on the computer/tv.
I accomplish way more doing this than trying to tackle it all at once.
I think of it as doing ‘future me’ a favor. If I have chores to do that could be put off another day, or an exercise session that I feel like skipping, I visualize how much more relaxed, happy and deserving I will feel during my evening leisure time watching TV or something with Mrs. solost later. As opposed to feeling guilty, with an edge of anxiety, later on, if I didn’t do the exercise or the chores.
For me, what helps self-motivate is either reading (or failing that, watching YouTube videos) about Stoic philosophy. It seldom fails to help me put first things first. It’s a helpful reminder to do of what one already knows should be done. There is only one moment - this one in the very present - where the actions within our control can influence future outcomes.
Chores will expand to fill any time gaps. Trust me, I’m retired and if I didn’t impose strict limits, I would be working all day just like before – just different tasks.
Society seems to have decreed that we must wash, vacuum, rinse, dry, fold, etc. and keep spotless cars, houses, yards, and be toned, fit and fashionable at all times. When facing any of these, my very first question is: “Does it really need done?” Does the bed really need made? Will vacuuming twice a week really improve my life, over just doing it when things seem dirty? Do I need to wash my blue jeans or shirt after every wearing? Can my car stay dirty a bit longer? Is it really necessary to trim and edge and mow and rake the yard like a golf course? I claim the answer is often “no.”
So I trim my tasks down to slightly above biohazard level. There’s a minimum amount of cleaning required to keep a household livable and free of unwanted pests and microbes. That’s the baseline for me. Once I see some part of my world descending too close to this baseline, I grab whatever tools are necessary and reset the level. Except getting the trash to the curb on Wednesdays, there’s no real schedule to these.
For motivation, I usually imagine what the task would’ve been like for my ancestors a century or so ago. Throwing stuff into an automatic washing machine seems a cakewalk when compared with doing it by hand, or on a flat rock by a river. The vacuum’s noisy, but really a breeze compared to dragging carpets into the yard and whacking them with a club. I have no idea how our forebears kept neat yards in those castles, but I’m pretty sure my riding mower is a hell of an improvement. Imagining doing the same task in the 1800s is a good way to make it seem easy and quick.
@Cardigan, do you happen to have any recommendations for specific videos and/or reading material on Stoic philosophy?
There really is no better source for Stoicism than reading Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations.
For a good intro/overview of Stoicism you can check out these videos:
Why Stoicism Matters - YouTube
12 Stoic Lessons That Will Immediately Change Your Life – Ryan Holiday - YouTube
Ryan Holiday has a number of good videos on incorporating Stoicism into one’s daily life. Here’s one:
9 Stoic Rules For A Better Life (From Marcus Aurelius) - YouTube