I have a pretty relaxed job on the railroad, in which I am free every third and fourth day, so even though the salary is not the best, I get loads of free time in which I could do a million things, but I…don’t.
I deal with house chores in the very last moment when I have to (I live by myself), I cook and shop daily, but once that’s over, almost all of my free time is spent unproductively. One reason is that I am lazy and the other big reason is that I have fatigue daily due to a medical issue. It’s not strong and I can beat it if I am motivated enough to do something, but it’s like choosing to sleep 5 minutes longer, because it’s easier, while snapping out of it requires effort.
Sometimes even motivation isn’t enough, I love learning languages, I know 2 foreign ones at a C1 and B2 level and another 3 at a (very) basic level, but the reason those 3 are at a basic level is not because I struggle with any words, grammar, topics or anything, but because I can’t force myself to study for more than a month, alone or with a teacher.
I tried various learning routines, books, apps, audio tracks and after years of experimenting, I found a technique which was 4 or 5 times more effective than anything else I tried, not only could I remember 4,5 times more words, but I could recall them much faster…and as always, one day I decided to watch tv/play games and learn tomorrow, then same thing tomorrow and so on.
I have the same problem, it seems to be quite frequent. Reminds me of the beginning of a book I read long ago:
“… A traveller who had seen many lands and peoples and several of the earth’s continents was asked what quality in men he had discovered everywhere he had gone. He replied: ‘They have a tendency to laziness.’ To many it will seem that he ought rather to have said: ‘They are all timid. They hide themselves behind customs and opinions.’
In his heart every man knows quite well that, being unique, he will be in the world only once and that no imaginable chance will for a second time gather together into a unity so strangely variegated an assortment as he is: he knows it but he hides it like a bad conscience – why? From fear of his neigbour, who demands conventionality and cloaks himself with it. But what is it that constrains the individual to fear his neighbour, to think and act like a member of a herd, and to have no joy in himself? Modesty, perhaps, in a few rare cases. With the great majority it is indolence, inertia, in short that tendency to laziness of which the traveller spoke. He is right: men are even lazier than they are timid, and fear most of all the inconveniences with which unconditional honesty and nakedness would burden them.
Artists alone hate this sluggish promenading in borrowed fashions and appropriated opinions and they reveal everyone’s secret bad conscience, the law that every man is a unique miracle; they dare to show us man as he is, uniquely himself to every last movement of his muscles, more, that in being thus strictly consistent in uniqueness he is beautiful, and worth regarding, and in no way tedious.
When the great thinker despises mankind, he despises its laziness: for it is on account of their laziness that men seem like factory products, things of no consequence and unworthy to be associated with or instructed. The man who does not wish to belong to the mass needs only to cease taking himself easily; let him follow his conscience, which calls to him: ‘Be your self! All you are now doing, thinking, desiring, is not you yourself.’…”
The book was by Nietzsche, I believe it was “Genealogy of the Morals”, but I am too lazy to check it up, although it is just there across the room.
As for learning languages, every person is different, but what helped me was:
being with somebody from that country/language
reading books about things that interested me in that language. Books I already had read were great: not only did I learn what I already knew better by reading it a second time, I did not have to use the dictionary that much because I remembered what the meaning of the sentence was.
when you are feeling really lazy: Netflix (original version in the language you want to learn) with subtitles (either in that language or in English, depending on your proficiency).
Its not quite the same but I can find myself tired (like I need a nap) and just wanting to go home and crash after work. BTW, I don’t have a physically demanding job but sometimes I just feel lazy. What I found is that the first step is the hardest. I could just drive by the gym but if I make myself stop and get out of the car, the rest is much easier. Its the “snapping out of it” that you describe. Its more of a mental than physical effort. If its yardwork, opening the garage door is the hardest part. Even though that’s just pushing a button. I don’t know how to motivate yourself to get over that first hurdle and maybe that’s what you asking. Try not thinking about the whole task, just the first step.
Not related to languages, but to the challenge of self motivation - in my long life I have found that I respond well to having an outside structure. I can’t get myself motivated to learn on my own, but if I sign up for a traditional class, with a regular schedule of lessons, then I’m great! That is the main example, but the principle applies broadly for me. If I have a structure that involves having a schedule, and perhaps being somewhere (covid aside) and interacting with other people, then that will carry me forward.
Same here. I’m also one of these types that whines bc I “have” to go to some social event. But once I get there, I have fun and genuinely enjoy myself.
That’s how I do it. I don’t think about the whole big exhausting task, I just think that I’ll do the first little bit of it, or maybe get the prep work for the task out of the way and do the rest later. Then I will often proceed to the next step of the task, and the next. Even if I just half of the task done, that’s something.
Example: I need to dust and vacuum the living room. All I’ll make myself do at first is get out the vacuum and clear and put away the clutter. That’s a third of the task. Maybe after I’ve watched a couple of youtube videos I’ll actually vacuum the carpet. That’s two thirds. Then in an hour I’ll dust everything. Done!
This article helped me so much that I bookmarked it (because I know that sometimes I need to read it again). It’s a pretty simple concept though: Start off on the right foot, and it’ll tend to change the behavior that follows.
Same as @MikeF and @teelabrown. Divide the task into bite-sized pieces and just start. Starting is the hard part.
This morning I faced having to load, move and stack about a cord of wood from a spot on my property where it was recently split. I didn’t want to do it. But rain is coming, so it must be done.
Just go get the little tractor out of the shed and retrieve the cart to load. Put some air in the cart tires. Drive the rig over to where the wood is and stack a few pieces in. Oh, well. Might as well carry on until the cart is full. Drive over to the wood shed.
Take a break.
After breakfast, go unload the wood. Drive back to where the wood is, stack a few pieces in.
And so on.
It’s not even noon and I’m more than half done. I’ll finish in another couple hours. Bit by bit.
Just to chime in again, what some here are describing are identifiable tasks that need doing. I don’t have any issue with chores or work in front of me. The thing I struggle with is creating activity when there is no identified task pending - it’s Saturday, what do I want to do? D’know, guess I’ll just veg. Before I know it, another weekend gone.
Not for social events, which I genuinely dislike, but other stuff that I know I’ll like when I get there. It happens at every scale: going to the movies, going on a ski trip, going on a week-long vacation. But it gets worse the more involved the event is. And it at the absolute worst immediately before I set out. It’s an act of will to get in the cab to the airport.
My only solution is to ignore it. It helps to schedule things in a way that I can’t avoid them without paying a cost. Easy with vacations since I had to buy the tickets and such. I do the same thing with movies even though I could have just gotten the tickets there–I’m not going to waste it by procrastinating until the theater closes. At any rate, it’s my stupid lizard brain lying to me about risk and uncertainty. I don’t think it’s possible to get rid of it but it can be ignored and worked around.
Often, I don’t! : )
I’m working with the idea that to do something doesn’t require motivation before the action. It’s still kind of trippy to me that you can get started in a very unproductive mood and find something golden in the middle of it, whether you finish or not. (No, I’m not talking about a pee break. Whatever does it for you, though…) Anyway, if I can get moving on something that I may or may not like to do, it gets me going. This is part of the reason I like to knit. You can stitch and stew until you’ve gotta get up and make the donuts.
I am also a big believer in getting things done when you’re feeling the most energetic or “can’t-fail,” during the day, which is why I’m seriously unwilling to do anything next on my to do list when I get home from work in the afternoon. I’ve been up for 12 hours already and concentrating to the best of my ability for about 10 of those hours. My brain is tired-and so is my butt. I’m an insane morning person so that’s when stuff gets ticked off the list the fastest and easiest. This can be a big problem if there’s no wiggle room in a person’s schedule, because adding stuff is really counterproductive.
I also have a lot of free time, and often get down on myself for not being more “productive” with it. But I’ve been getting more and more comfortable with my level of commitment/activity.
When I want to do something, I often find the most difficult thing is just getting started. I mean getting my lazy butt out of the chair. Once I decided to do something and start moving in that direction, every subsequent bit is less onerous and even enjoyable.
Yes, yes & me too. I’ve struggled with working thru various variables of my laziness, the primary state of mind I seem to be in since grade school =<trying 2make myself start book reports, projects & assignments being put off until I desperately try to start & finish it all on the night b4 it’s dreaded due date. As an adult, it starts with making myself get up every day & that’s when my long-sought magic solution is applied=> “Just shut up & do it” I say to my self & THAT gets my ass outta bed, again that CRUCIAL 1st step we all seem 2have discovered as the key. After that, starting work, making all the quick B2B market research phone calls that my not-really-so-bad job is, errands/business after work, the daily journey that is only starts 2flow by making my self take the 1st step.
And believe you me, “Just shut up & do it” is useful in pretty much ANY situation I don’t want 2do, work or personal. It cuts thru my own lizard brain’s bullshit rationalizations & any lame counterarguments it tries 2come up with. Properly applied, I’ve found, words have power; how d’ya think magic works? Try it, whaddya got to lose?
I find that making to-do lists work well for me. Every off day I have a list of tasks, most extremely mundane, that I check off as I do them. The mundanity (?) is laughable. Here is what a typical list may look like:
Dishes
Laundry
Clip toenails
Get gas
Order hot sauce from Amazon
Shave
Boil eggs for the week
Change furnace filter
The checking off of each item as it is done is why this works for me. Sometimes not every item gets checked, and that is ok.
I can really relate to the OP, I’m seasonally affected and by this point of the winter I’m at a stall. I have learned to use various techniques that I’ve found helpful.
I make my todo lists in pencil, it’s so much more motivating to see items on the list disappear, than to just cross them out. Motivation really rises as I come to the last few items, the reverse of what I often experienced.
I also learned the difference between managing time and managing energy. I intersperse tasks I’m looking forward to in with those that I find grinding. I carefully intersperse chores that will give a big payback/transformation, to keep my momentum going. Don’t just make a list, try to arrange the chores to best keep your momentum going.
But one of the most useful things I recently read and has been very effective, is to recognize that action doesn’t follow motivation. Action can and does precede/produce motivation. When malaise hits I force myself to just ‘do’ one thing! It’s often just that little push to start, that really helps.
If I’m making my list the night before, I make sure to decide ahead where I’m going to start.
Not sure if these things will help others but they have helped me.
I don’t know if it’ll help you, but I find the best way to deal with this is to tell yourself that it has to be done, then started doing it. I find that once I get started it’s fairly easy to continue. Of course I don’t have chronic fatigue So your situation may be different from mine.
