How do you wipe?

Recently a radio station in Dallas had an imprmptu poll of how people wipe. A surprising number of people (close to half) said that they stand or raise to a sort of squating position when they wipe. I am baffled by the mechanics of this maneuver, but if that’s what does it for them, then good for them.

I am still surprised by the high number of people that do this so I wanted to check with others to see if it’s normal. I have a feeling that most people were calling and saying they did it simply to agree with the host who said that’s how he does it.

So, how do you wipe? Do you lift off the bowl or stay planted to get the job done?

I say and maintain, that of all torcheculs, arsewisps, bumfodders, tail-napkins, bunghole cleansers, and wipe-breeches, there is none in the world comparable to the neck of a goose, that is well downed, if you hold her head betwixt your legs. And believe me therein upon mine honour, for you will thereby feel in your nockhole a most wonderful pleasure, both in regard of the softness of the said down and of the temporate heat of the goose, which is easily communicated to the bum-gut and the rest the inwards, in so far as to come even to the regions of the heart and brains.

Of course to use the goose properly, you need to lift off the bowl.


I really have nothing to compare to what ethelbert just said, but I cannot get to where I need to clean with my bum ensconced in the loving embrace of The Stinkseat.

So you stand up or lift yourself in a such a way that you no longer make contact with the bowl.

That sounds so weird to me. :confused:

I used to sit and wipe, but one day while sitting on an old unfamiliar toilet, I found myself sticking my hand into my poop! It seems this toilet had a slight shelf.