I’ve been out of my basic training for almost 2 weeks now. I’ve already got 10 cases (I’m fortunate in that I get a capped caseload for the first three months). And I’ve already seen such ugly behavior in people. I’ve seen people using their children as pawns. I’ve seen people all but throw their kids away. I’ve seen three children cry when I asked about their father–they’re utterly terrified of the guy.
And doesn’t anybody work for a living? I’ve been working almost nonstop since I graduated high school in 1981. I don’t get it.
I’m not sure I’m going to make it in this job. I have trouble going to sleep at night; I have nightmares about my kids; I wake up and can’t go back to sleep. I know there are some other CPS workers on this board. How do you do it?
I think you may be using misogynist wrong, as it means one who hates women. Because then you talk about how awful the fathers are. But maybe I’m not getting what you are saying.
I can’t imagine doing a job where I was dealing with people who hurt or mistreat children. I would be angry and frustrated all the time. I think people who do these jobs are saints. Clearly you care a great deal about children. Good luck to you in your job.
Knowing a number of people in the child-service profession, I can think of three coping mechanisms.
Focus on your successes. You may only have one success per year, but it’s important that you realize that’s one kid who went from worse to better.
Black humor. I’m sure you’ve noticed your colleagues venting their frustrations in the form of evil jokes.
Burnout. I know this doesn’t sound like a coping mechanism, but since it is the last step before a complete breakdown, you need to be aware of the signs.
My mom worked CPS for 7 years. Quit the day she went into labor with me.
27 years later she still says it’s the most pointless job on the planet and is convinced that nobody ever really changes.
As far as handling what she saw, she said she just left it at the office. In a way, you have to not care what happens. If you start really caring, you’ll go nuts because when it’s all said and done, you’re pretty much powerless to change anything.
I stand by my previous reply. Be cynical, and of low expectations, about the system and what you see without getting cynical about what you’re trying to accomplish.
Or possibly misanthrope.
I wish I knew how to help you, N. Sane, and others who do jobs like yours. All you can do is try for “better” one case at a time.
If you already have insomnia and nightmares, you’re on the fast track to burnout. You may have to face the fact that you’re not cut out for that job; few are. You might want to consider another position. Vicarious traumatization is an emerging concern. Best of luck.