Yep. 
Is the difference about a dollar an hour?
Four dollars.
ETA: But, hey, thanks for threadshitting in a spot where someone came to ask for help in dealing with a work situation. It makes you look so damn classy.
Now pause to make sure that registered.
Wanna ride bikes?? Huh?!
This thread was amazingly helpful up until the last 5-6 responses. Come on people - the slogan is “fighting ignorance since 1973”
I came upon this board while I was searching for the terms “coworkers incompetence ADHD”
In this case though, I’m the one with ADHD, and my coworkers perceive me as incompetent - despite the fact that as a Ph.D. scientist (which they are too), in which the measure of our competence is citations, I am better cited and published than they are. And it is because I have done better work - being “ADHD” you sure as heck don’t get published and cited because anyone just likes you.
This thread was helpful because I saw several people who were frustrated, and NONETHELESS, trying to deal with their co-workers in a respectful manner! That’s fantastic! Sheesh, I realize I’m annoying sometimes, just help me annoy you less! A lot of people in this forum seem to have a respectful, reasonable approach.
What I’m experiencing though, is someone who has apparently decided I’m on drugs (I mean the illegal kind). This is so far from the truth it’s kinda funny. But the person who has showered me with contempt is my PI’s (boss’s) wife. I’m aware I make more mistakes, have a harder time concentrating than the average person - I accept and apologize for it. I’m also more recognized, published and cited than she is - because I work harder to make up for my mistakes.
I’m feeling pretty beat down. I haven’t pointed out any of this to her - I looked it up when I got tired of the contempt, disrespect and bullying. I don’t want to cause my boss a hard time - but she’s trying her best to make me look awful (she watches everything I do and looks for everything she can to point out to hubby) and it’s starting to sway him. I can regather his confidence every time we have a meeting and I have to show how much I’ve accomplished, but I feel really beat down during the month in between.
How do I approach this disrespectful, obnoxious woman? Should I follow her around and point out every mistake she makes for a while? Somehow I don’t see that working for me. I really need help.
It can be hard to treat as equal someone who’s 40% as productive as his co-workers. (At least that has been my experience.)
Oh boy, I have never done well in situations such as you describe. I can only say I sympathise. Some people will just peck and peck once they’ve found a weakness.
Kudos to the OP for taking a very different approach.
Ouch. I’ve got ADD (and by the way Broomstick, love the phrase “verbal salad”, my wife will appreciate that! 
) and it caused me a lot of difficulty in employment. For a very long time I tended to change jobs yearly, sometimes on my terms and sometimes not.
I had to learn what the weakness and strengths (yes, there definitely are strengths) of ADD were and then teach myself how to work with them. I’ve managed to achieve becoming part of the executive team for a multinational corporation, so I doubt I’m operating at 40%, but I won’t lie and say it’s not a constant worry for me.
I’ve chosen not to go on medication for ADD for a variety of reasons, so I may be unnecessarily hindering myself by not taking advantage of them, but I hope I’m operating around at least 80%. From what I’ve seen at most places I’ve worked that’s around 20% higher than the average.
Hi, Broomstick. I’m a long time member of the board, and I always perk up when I see your name. You’re an excellent storyteller and very sensible with advice.
I have ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive, which is the variant most girls/women have). I’ve worked as a teacher and had my share of ADHD kids, most of whom were unmedicated. I’ve spent the last six years of my life coping with my own ADHD, finding ways to mitigate it, ways to take advantage of the good parts, and ways to cope when it damages my life. I agree with what minlokwat has said, and I’d like to expand on it a bit.
Your coworker knows her performance is subpar. She knows she’s letting people down. She knows she’s constantly failing at tasks others complete with little difficulty. Medication helps, but it isn’t a cure-all. If she’s worked minimum wage jobs her whole life, she never developed the coping skills she needs. In those circumstances, it’s a surprise she isn’t overtly hostile when she’s criticized.
What you’re dealing with is a person whose prefrontal cortex is underactive. She cannot filter out the constant bombardment of stimuli, and she responds to the loudest/brightest/most insistent one at any moment - hence the word salad. Put her under stress, and it’s only going to get worse.
If you want to help her so that she can do her job more successfully, you’re going to have to go Cesar Milan on her.
First, no anger. Anger from you will stress her out, and stress makes things even worse. Second, give her exact physical instructions to get what you want. Don’t say “Coworker, I need your attention.” Say “Coworker, stop what you’re doing, and face me, please.” (And please, word this to the appropriate social context. I can say that as a teacher. It may not be appropriate to a coworker.) Third, get your other coworkers to stay quiet while you’re talking to her. Any other conversation in the area is going to distract her no matter how hard she’s trying. Fourth, make her repeat to you what you want before you get the answer from her. And fifth, positive reinforcement every time you catch her doing something right that she usually messes up.
In general? Make use of visual cues. Put a list by the phone with the expected greeting and what information you want on a message. Post checklists for other things. When in doubt, refer her back to the lists.
Lastly, these are things I would tell the kids and parents. You may not be able to make use of this information, but it’s something to keep in mind.
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kids with ADHD do enormously better when they have frequent physical activity. (My guess is that the increased blood flow from exercise brings extra oxygen to the prefrontal cortex, but it’s only a guess.)
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everyone, but especially kids with ADHD show improved focus and memory when they can spend time outdoors in nature. Even 15 minutes a day will do it. It needs to be grass and trees, not a few potted plants.
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meditation helps.
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good nutrition helps.
You know, she isn’t your cross to bear. We are all of us responsible for our own lives and actions.
But.
Compassion and understanding of our human flaws makes it so much easier to manage them. She’s a fifty year old woman with health problems at a minimum wage job. No one envies her, and no one’s really thrilled to have her around. It’s the easiest thing in the world to dismiss her. Thank you for showing some care.
Have you considered being honest, open and direct:
“Look, I know you struggle with your ability to focus, but I really like you and want to help you succeed so much. I was hoping you’d be open to maybe talking about how we can manage it better together. Perhaps there’s a phrase we can come up with, “Can we please return to … topic/issue, thank you!”, that you will not be offended by, for times when I/others are feeling very frustrated? Maybe you can suggest something?”