At work I like being appreciated for things that are over and above what I normally do to earn my salary. However, I am suspicious of praise that is too easily given, too vague (“man, you’re awesome!”) or too fulsome.
In private life, I’ll take whatever I can get. Even if it makes me uncomfortable, I can usually smile and say “Thank you, you’re very kind.”
Roddy
It makes me very suspicious of the motives of the praiser. I’ve learned to say thank you and that is kind, but praise gets the hairs on the back of my neck standing up.
Wow. All the people saying they are suspicious has really gotten me worried. I’m very quick to praise others in all kinds of situations because I wasn’t around a lot of praise when I was a kid. I never knew others would be skeptical of what I give naturally. Makes me think I ought to reconsider.
I only feel uncomfortable if I think the praise is undeserved and that will leave me groping for the right response. Otherwise “thank you!” is an automatic response to both praise and complements.
This is me as well.
Usually the praise I get is thinly masked sarcasm or insults. For some reason, I am always surrounded by passive aggressive people who think they’re so intelligent (or everyone else is so stupid) they can get away with it.
There are a million types of praise, and a million types of praisers. I tend to automatically sort both out - similar to Baal.
What I am wary of are the over-praisers, those who dole it out willy-nilly. I never trust their praise because it is an automatic response.
It is a fine line betwixt under- and over-praising.
mmm
I agree with you that it’s not rude. Giving praise should be a selfless compliment. You can’t really praise somebody and then set constraints on how they need to react to it.
On the other hand, being dismissive of praise seems to be more the norm than the exception. It’s almost a rarity for someone to just say something like “thank you, I worked hard on that” or “thanks, I’m really proud of myself for it”. I always see it as a very positive sign of confidence to accept praise graciously without downplaying it.
I’m in a similar situation.
I went to an inner city high school a block away from the projects. If someone was nice to you for no reason it meant that they were lulling you into a false sense of security before they robbed you. I learned to be suspicious of all praise during that time period. I still haven’t completely unlearned the habit.
I am simultaneously delighted and embarrassed by praise. If I get a “you’re awesome!” from a colleague, I’ll respond with a deadpan “yeah, I get that a lot.” It gets a laugh, and it saves me from sounding uncomfortable. I do appreciate the compliments though; they can make my day. Keep them coming.
That used to be me. I got over it by the process of examining what I was being praised for, whether other people around me would have been able to produce the same and whether I would have considered it praiseworthy if done by others. I realized that in every instance where the praiser sounded genuine, the answers were, respectively, “no” and “yes” - so what the heck, when I have done something extra-good that I’d be happy to praise others for, yay praise!
Some sorts of “praise” leave me bewildered. “I’ve never met anybody like you”… uh… how is one suppposed to respond to that 
, by saying “you need to travel more”?
For my father “ah, turns out you can get things right once in a while” was the closest thing he ever came to praise (yeah Dad, but most people don’t consider getting 100% in several university courses to be merely “right” - in one of them, the next highest grade was an 80%). For Mom? Hah. Anything she says which would look like praise in writing has a 99% probability of actually being sarcastic - or the opening for a criticism of everything else involved. It used to be that if she told a blood relation “I like your hair” and didn’t get distracted by something else, what followed was a detailed criticism of our jewelry or lack thereof (if female), makeup or lack thereof (if female), clothing, shoes, socks and posture.
At one point she started making an effort to say “please” and “thank you” to me and the Bros and to praise us when it’s warranted, and it took us months to get somewhat used to it. It’s been years and when she says “nice hair” and stops, I still need to take several minutes to realize that she actually means it.
I’m curiously divided when I comes to praise – on the one hand, I tend to go fishing for compliments a bit, especially when I’ve made something I’m proud of; nothing too boastful, but occasionally I admit I do like to show of my stuff a little.
On the other hand, if I’m just unexpectedly praised, I tend to almost feel a little exposed – like the proverbial rabbit in the headlights. Especially when I’m complimented about the way I am, rather than about things I’ve done.
What about really beautiful women, who get variations of “you are so beautiful” all the time, not in the form of hitting on you but when you just turn guys into bashful, red-faced gulping cartoon characters? "Guh-guh-guh-gawrsh (gulp), you’re talking to me? You look just like an angel . . . " (bows a furiously red face down & digs toe into the ground). Does that ever stop being weird when you encounter that reaction just from your ordering a Slurpee or something?