How Does This Joke Go (Differences in how different cultures approach sex)

[HeyHomie]

Some people are stranded on a desert island. There is at least one male and one female in the mix. There is obvious sexual tension.

The French respond in some predictably French way.

The Germans respond in some predictably German way.

Other nationalities respond in predictable ways.

After six months, the British are still waiting to be introduced to each other.

Does anyone remember how this actually goes?

[Sage_Rat]

Here’s one version:

On a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded: 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman, 2 French men and 1 French woman, 2 German men and 1 German woman, 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman, 2 English men and 1 English woman, 2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman, 2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman, 2 Australian men and 1 Australian woman, 2 New Zealander men and 1 New Zealander woman, 2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman, 2 American men and 1 American woman. One month later, the following things have occurred…
One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
The two French men and the French woman are living happily together, having loads of sex.
The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman.
The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
The Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and one look at the Polish woman and they started swimming.
The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are waiting for instructions.
The two Australian men beat each other senseless fighting over the Australian woman, who called them both “bloody wankers” and is checking out all the other men.
Both New Zealand men are searching the island for sheep.
The Irish began by dividing the island into North and South and setting up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey, but they are satisfied in that at least the English are not getting any.
The American woman keeps on bitching about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, about the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinions and treated her much nicer and how her relationship with her mother is mproving. The two American men have committed suicide.

I just googled for “deserted island French Italian”, which seems to get to a couple different variations.

[mr.jp]

Funny stuff. The only thing… I dont agree with the american stereotype.

[Celyn]

@mr. jp

Funny stuff. The only thing… I dont agree with the american stereotype.

Heh, cue a ton of French, Germans, New Zealanders etc. queuing up to disagree with the stereotype. (All righty, I do see that your post really means “come along and be whooshed if you’re daft enough”.

Good one, Sage Rat! The fun thing is, I have never met that particular joke before - not that I am good at remembering jokes, but often if someone asks for help in recalling an old joke, it will tend to be one that many of us know. So that one makes a nice change.

And it doesn’t involve any stereotype for my country, so that’s fine too. Still, I imagine the Scots would, like the Irish people there, have built a distillery then probably had a friendly argument with the Irish as to how to spell “whisky”, easily sorted out after a few glasses had been taken.
Minor quibble – shouldn’t the German people be having sex with their sisters?

[NDP]

@mr. jp

Funny stuff. The only thing… I dont agree with the american stereotype.

That would depend upon the type of Americans they are. The stereotype would work if they were Americans from Manhattan, LA, Boston, or some other part of “Blue State” America. If they were from some other part of the country like Texas, the South, or the Midwest, you’d have to come up with a different stereotype for the joke to work.

Minor quibble – shouldn’t the German people be having sex with their sisters?

No, that would be the Americans if they were from the South (or, if not that, the men would be fighting with New Zealanders over the sheep).

(I kid. I kid. I have nothing but highest respect for those who live below the Mason-Dixon line.)