So a band I’m acquainted with is going on a tour of the British Isles this summer. I’ve been asked to provide jokes for between-song patter. Leaning towards the kind that go “An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman and maybe a Welshman are all in the same situation. Such as, but not limited to walking into a bar. The first guy does such-and-such, according to his stereotypical cultural norms. The second guy acts according to his own stereotype. Same for the third guy, or fourth if any, and the last one’s actions are the most extreme.”
The keyboard player warned me, “But nothing really offense. Or controversial. Nothing about Ireland that’s Catholic vs. Protestant. Nothing about Scotland that involves sheep. Nothing that portrays the English as ‘fairies’, and, uh, I don’t know Welsh stereotypes, but nothing too insulting about them.”
Any suggestions would be welcome! (They can be about just one ethnicity as well.)
There’s a recent thread (the last 2-3 months) loaded with E/I/S/W jokes; not sure who started it, but it shouldn’t be too hard to find. Search term - “Whales.”
Okay! Irish drinking jokes will be okay. “Leek” – hee!
There’s one I know, about an Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman all ordering pints that have a fly in them. The Englishman is grossly offended, and storms out to write a letter to the Times. The Scotsman flicks out the fly, drinks the rest of the beer, then haggles with the bartender to get his next pint free because of this. The Irishman pulls the fly out, squeezes it and roars, “Spit it out! Spit it out, ya bastard!”
Where is this band from? If they’re not from the British Isles, are you sure it’s a good idea for them to go among strangers and start telling those strangers jokes about themselves, at least when those jokes aren’t based on personal observation? I’d think that “Back where we come from…”-type jokes might go over better.
There are four kinds of people in the UK -
First, there were the Scots who kept the Sabbath - and everything else they could lay their hands on;
Then there were the Welsh - who prayed on their knees and their neighbours;
Thirdly there were the Irish who never knew what they wanted - but were willing to fight for it anyway.
Lastly there were the English who considered themselves self-made men, - thus relieving the Almighty of a terrible responsibility.
Imagine a British band coming to the USA and telling stereotypical jokes about America (racism in the South; drugs in California, transgenders in New York.) :smack::eek:
Then advise the band to tell jokes about themselves instead - we Brits like modesty and self-deprecation.
Or whimsy. I’ve always liked this one from Stewart Lee…
"“My grandad always said, “You should never judge a book by its cover.” And it’s for that reason that he lost his job as chair of the British Book Cover Awards panel.”