I’m afraid I’ll have to ask… what kind of sex was she having before that? 
The non-consensual kind. But that was years before, so I know it didn’t have any bearing on my getting pregnant. Still to say, “the first time I had sex” feels like a lie, so I choose how I phrase it carefully. I wasn’t a virgin, but it had all the specialness of losing my virginity…and getting pregnant as a result even though I was being “good” and using multiple bc methods. :dubious: (That’s a :dubious: for the Universe there, not you, Endemic.)
While I know a lot of people lie, I have a lot of compassion and extend a lot of benefit of the doubt to folks who say they’ve conceived due to birth control failures. Not only because it’s happened to me, but because I think the actual failures are much higher than otherwise reported. If we factor out all those non fertile days when the condom “worked” at preventing an impossible pregnancy, the numbers would look a whole lot different. This is one reason I’m very interested in teaching FAM (Fertility Awareness Method - our motto: “It’s not the Rhythm Method!”) which is a scientific method of recognizing your body’s own fertility cycles based on basal temperature and cervical fluid, **not **based on a day 14 ovulation myth. If you and your partner know the days she’s most likely to conceive, you can choose other activities for a few days a month, or you can double up on methods or take the Russian Roulette. But I think it should be a real informed choice, that’s all.
Am I reading this chart right? Typical use of withdrawal (19%) is more effective than a diaphragm (20%), vaginal sponge with no previous births (20%), vaginal sponge with previous births (40%), cervical cap with no previous births (20%), cervical cap with previous births (40%), the female condom (21%), and spermicide (26%)? Withdrawal? As in all the guy does is pull out before ejaculating? If I am reading this right, then I’m shocked that all of those other methods are less effective than a “birth control” method that I’d always considered a complete joke.
It doesn’t surprise me. I’ve never understood why this method was “a complete joke.” Many men have no (or extremely minimal) “pre-come,” and my husband and I used this method successfully for 3 years (having sex evey single day at least once) when I couldn’t take hormonal birth control. Never once did he fail to pull out in time. Granted, for all we know I could be infertile–we know he isn’t–but really, if all the semen gets spilled elsewhere, the odds of getting pregnant seem pretty low. I think people assume that guys just can’t predict when they’re about to come, which, in my experience, is not true.
Sorry, it is really hard to fake a tubal ligation. Mine failed, I got pregnant. Yes rubbers do break, and yes properly used BC can also fail. Both happened to me as well.
Having been single at the time, and not particularly liking children and planning to never have children I made every attempt to not have children. Not every female is as brainless as the bimbo in Earth Girls are Easy and actually do take the pill properly.
Actually, I’m amazed that that number is as low as it is. Some people find condoms uncomfortable, or consider birth control “icky”, or have religious compunctions against using birth control, or are otherwise predisposed agains birth control for whatever reason. And to the extent that any of those predispositions are heritable (through nature or nurture), there’s a strong selective pressure favoring them. In other words, people will evolve to not use birth control.
I would have thought it was obvious that my post was referring to the types of birth control that you can lie about and that I’m not saying birth control never fails, just that the figures are probably very exaggerated for certain forms of BC. But perhaps not. Anyway, that’s what I meant.