how far I've fallen (I guess)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Back when I was a Christian (which was basically my entire life 'til 7 years ago) I was, like most conscientious believers, very concerned with developing a Christ-like character. Both the New Testament and modern Xtian teaching (at least of the American Evangelical variety) place significant emphasis on developing godly attitudes and behaviors.

I’m not going to comment much on this aspect of the religion, except to say that this afternoon, I had a rather sobering revelation: Many of the thoughts, attitudes, and patterns of speech and behavior that I display now, I would at one time have sanctimoniously deemed prideful, ungodly, and areas that I needed to “take captive to Christ” to become a better man of God.

Specifically, I’m referring to things like…

-making off-color jokes (sometimes not even that off-color)

-using the occasional four-letter word (I used to pray and pray and pray for forgiveness every time I said “ass” or “shit”)

-thinking that I “know better than God” (daring to disbelieve the literalist interpretation of certain parts of the Bible)

-and accepting the ideas that, among other things, homosexual relationships or terminating an early unwanted pregnancy are not necessarily sinful.

…etc., etc.

In other words, the Me of a decade ago would have despised the personality traits that I’ve now embraced. As I said, it’s a sobering thought, but I honestly don’t care that much. My previous Weltaunschauung was immature and myopic.

I’m far from perfect, and even though I’m not religious anymore doesn’t mean I’m totally accepting of any and all personality quirks that I or someone else might display. Self-improvement is always important, Xtian believer, or not. But I like to think that I have a healthier perspective on what really needs to be addressed.

2

I think what’s on the inside is more important than on the outside. Sure, lots of religious people like to say what you say and the views you have arise from inside, but sometimes it is also possible to fake it. If I am not it, I am not faking it.

Thoughts, attiludes and motives, IMHO, are by far more important.

3

Fallen, risen, it’s all the same in the end.

4

It doesn’t sound like you have fallen at all. You just found yourself. You sound happy so don’t worry. To thy own self be true!

5

When I was 18, I had a brief flirtation with being an Ayn Rand Objectivist. Thankfully, that stage did not last. We all grow and change, some of us somewhat more dramatically than others. It sounds like you’re moving in a good direction. It’s a good thing!

6

I had some difficulties when I was deeply Catholic because I’d always believed in things like equality for women and for people of all sexual orientations, even at a very young age. Then, my mother did me the favor of sending me to high school at a Jesuit institution, and those priests instilled in me the idea that I shouldn’t believe in something just because someone says it’s true. They told me to think for myself. So, I did.

I’m no longer Catholic.

7

That’s normal, isn’t it?

Is it wrong of me to think Curtis LeMay needs to read this thread?

8

Cyningablod said:

Congrats!

9

Is it? That makes me feel better. I always feel sort of like I’m admitting to having tortured small animals, whenever I reveal this information.

10

Thanks, y’all. I also tend to view this process as maturation, not any kind of moral decay.

It’s nice to have found a community of kindred minds. :slight_smile:

11

No, I think running into Ayn Rand as a young adult and feeling like the scales have fallen from your eyes is a fairly normal experience.