How handy would you be in a fight?

In My Humble Opinion
61

I’d probably get stomped because they’d hit me first. I’m also only 5’ 6" and not athletic, and have no training. If they somehow managed to push me into attacking them without disabling me in the process, I’d either hit the one in front of me in the head with that beer bottle and try to run, or break the bottle and stab him in the gut with it, depending on how panicked/enraged I was. Then I’d run for the exit or a weapon.

In real life, I solve this problem by abstaining from alcohol and therefore never go into bars. A highly effective means of avoiding barfights. :wink:

62

I’d be very handy in a fight, considering I’m 750 lbs, and a little over 8 feet when I stand up straight.

In a typical bar fight, I imagine I’d either quickly use my massive paw as a club to break my opponent’s bones, or I’d wrap my arms around his trunk, crushing him to death. I have been known to kill large mammals such as moose, sheep and caribou without any weapons, so I probably wouldn’t go for the beer bottle. Not that it would do me much good, without opposable thumbs.

I’m generally a pretty peaceful chap though, only resorting to violence when I feel threatened, or during mating season. Both, I suppose, pretty common reasons for bar fights.

63

Huh.

thinks about it

Would that really work? :stuck_out_tongue:

OK, yeah. You win the thread.

64

In the bar fight scenario, I doubt I would join in unless the opponents involved me or if my friend was already to the point of taking a major beating and it seemed like he was in serious trouble. I don’t even like being in male-centric enviroments because I don’t “get” macho bullshit. I could try to be polite and I would still somehow unknowing aggravate someone to the point of attacking me. It’s just not a language I speak.

It’s rare for me to get an adrenaline rush. I’m exceptionally calm and I avoid fights like the plague. My theory is that this has maximized my sensitivity to adrenaline, which is why I would go apeshit crazy and pummel an attacker until I became exhausted from slamming my fists into the bloody pulp left on the floor. It would only be initiated by someone physically attacking me, or posing a serious threat to myself or a loved one before I would unleash the inner beast, but that beast would be one relentless mofo.

Last February, a coworker threatened my life (I have since quit that job, so relax). For the first time in probably over a decade, I got a serious rush of “fight-or-flight.” The image of me leaping behind his desk and clenching my hand around and yanking his esophagus with all my might was getting too repetitive and tempting, so I went to the bathroom and talked myself into calling the police regarding his threat.

I seriously do avoid fights because of the potential legal retailiation from other guy’s next-of-kin.

65

I’m in the same ballpark as pravnik - I train mixed martial arts at a self defense gym, started off in boxing about 10 years ago, and have since spent about 6 doing kickboxing and submission wrestling. Oddly enough, I also teach beginner self defense classes and am competing in December.

66

I’m a girl but a black belt in Kenpo, which means I am skilled at the art of crotch twisting, eye gouging and spine smacking (it’s a very defensive art!). And, since I’m a girl, I would not be ashamed to use any of these moves.

Also, I figure no one ever expects a kick in a bar fight. Which is good for me because my puny little t-rex arms don’t get me anywhere but I’ve knocked over my share of big dudes with my tree-trunk gams.

Of course, if showing my tits and running away helps, I’m all for that. That or taking Lanzy, pravnik, Randy Seltzer and influenza around with me when I go to seedy bars :smiley:

67

Eventually, I’d go down, if for no other reason than to protect the dental work. But I’m big enough to swing a chair and old enough to have absolutely no hangups about sending a man to the hospital. If I have to wade in, I’m goin’ with everything I have. It isn’t much, but I will hurt somebody before I take the dive.

68

I come from the “questionable character” neighborhood of my town. You know the one: Where those from the outside roll up their car windows and lock the doors when they drive through during the day and drive around the neighborhood rather than through it after dark.

In the old days, I would have been OK. A few more years than I care to think about have passed since my last bar fight. I would probably lose the fight in a spectacular manner.

69

I couldn’t take three guys. One, maybe, but not three. I’d like to think I’d do a little damage before going down.

5"11" 215, 44yrs old, Average shape, martial arts training twenty years ago, haven’t been in a fight in anger since middle school.

70

I’m 6’1’’, 430lbs and very muscular, fast and highly coordinated. Think about it. Yes, I’m fat, but I’m very muscular.

71

I’ll chime back in since I never answered my own OP. I’m a decent sized guy getting more decent as time goes on, about 6 feet 230lbs and I’m the oldest of 4 Irish Catholic boys. Scuffling has always been a way of life. I got into very regular fights throughout my school days and have actually been in some knock down drag out bar fights in my time.

I’ve been in 3 on me fights, which are more accurately called “stompings” since there’s damned near nothing you can do to win something like that. One on one, I’ve been in enough fights in my life that I can see them coming and I tend to hit first, hit hard, and not stop until there’s no way the other person is getting back up for as long as it takes me to hit the road. I kick groins, poke eyes, headbutt, anything I can do to get that one shot that turns the tide.

72

I’m pretty physically powerful, but I’ve never been good at fighting. If I could actually force my brain to tell my body “yeah, this is real, fucking get in gear!” I could do a lot of damage. It would never actually work though. My body just physically won’t let me hurt another person. My muscles get limp and arms get heavy. I’m useless in a fight.

73

Oddly enough, I just got in a bar fight (checks watch) 3 hours ago. I’m at a concert with a girlfriend when some random asshole shoves her to the ground, then continues to gesture threateningly like “What you gonna do about it?”

Let’s just say, the guy who hit my friend ended up pulling out brass knuckles because he was gonna get his ass kicked otherwise, and his friends got a taste of what it means to mess with me. 3 guys, 2 girls, and although a tooth feels a little loose, they totally came out worse.

So, like I said, I’m damn good to have in a bar fight.

74

One-on-one, I’m be pretty confident in my ability to submit anyone without a decent amount of grappling training, even though it has been a few years and my body ain’t the same as it used to be. But a group melee where wrastlin’ with an opponent on the ground would get me kicked by his partner, and I’d be in trouble. My assets are a calm mind in tense situations, grappling/submission skills, and enough experience taking hard shots to not freak out at getting hit. My striking strength would leave something to be desired.

75

:eek: Akebono? Is that you?? :eek: :wink:

76

Kinda handy. I have this thing where I zone out and just go for the eyes or the nuts. I’m not sure that this is totally in line with the purpose of mammalian ritual combats, but when I was little my karate teacher said I should be fine and that I didn’t need to come to class anymore. I tried muay thai in college and the dude said it was supposed to be a sport, and not necessarily a way of murdering people with your thumbs. Whatever. I have a pretty high pain tolerance so I guess I can take the eyes of at least one of the three.

77

That reminds me, this guy “Beowulf” has been asking about you. Talked some smack about your mom, too. :smiley:

78

Hey, pravnik and influenza are both training for December bouts. Any possibility …?

Reading through this got me to thinking about another aspect that I don’t think has been specifically addressed. In a fight there is considerable advantage to be the guy who escalates it to the highest level first. I remember a line from Jim Harrison’s A Good Day to Die. They are in a bar, and one character cracks a marine with a pool cue, knocking him out. The other guy says, *“What are you doing? He might have known karate!”*d the first guy says, “No one knows shit if you get a good enough shot in first.”

Don’t want this to get too involved, but to some extent your chances of success in a fight may depend on how quickly you are able to flip the switch allowing you to really inflict injury and get out of there.

And you don’t get into a fight unless you are willing to end it brutally. IMO there is nothing sillier than a couple of macho bozos getting into a jawing and shoving contest. And then there are the folks who study knife fighting and carry a blade, with no real appreciation of the fact that no one should know you have a blade until it is drawing blood from them. (Well, either that or opening a box or something!) :wink:

In my mind, the only fight conceivably worth being in would be one in which the life and/or health of you or a loved one is in imminent danger and you have NO alternative. If someone wants to intimidate you or push you around, excuse yourself and leave. Getting in a fight is likely to have at least one of 2 possible outcomes - either you are going to get hurt, or you are going to hurt someone else. And neither option is desireable. Far better IMO to sublimate your pride and accept some inconvenience and/or financial loss.

“You’re right, dude. I’m sorry. We’re outta here. Let me buy you a drink on my way out.”

79

Very useful. After I faint, the bad guys will trip over me and then OneCent can rabbit punch them.

I would not be a lot of help, I’m afraid.

I’ve been in three fights in my life.

I waited 24 years for the first one, since I was one of the smallest kids in my grade. In school, I was taking a swim class and we played water polo once. It got into jungle ball rules and a guy thought that I fouled him to hard. He started swinging at me, and I managed to parry the blows. (Thank you karate sensei!) The teacher blew her whistle and the guy finally stopped. I didn’t even hit him back, I didn’t even think about it.

Second time was in Roppongi, a night district which caters to foreigners. My friend and I had just left a bar and a guy came after us. He thought we had insulted his girlfriend or something. He got into a screaming match with my friend, and then hit him, knocking my friend down. Really, without thinking, I swung my fist in his general direction and he turn, kindly lining up his nose with my fist. He still came at me, so I grabbed him and we fell down. Other people pulled us apart and he took off. It looked like he took a hard shot to his nose, since my shirt was covered with his blood.

The next day I couldn’t move my left arm up at all. The doctor said it was common and gave me a bunch of some sort of shot along a nerve line, and I got better.

My final (I hope) time was about a year ago, also in Roppongi. I was minding my business when an Iranian decided to hassle me. Without realizing that he had a hell of a lot of friends, I waved him off, or something else really stupid, and he came after me. Suddenly I saw that it was 4 on 1, and the exit was blocked, so I took off to the back of the room, with everyone trying to grab me. I got behind the bar and grabbed onto a pole and held on for dear life. The bar staff wanted me to leave, but I kept yelling at them to call the police, and they didn’t want the authorities to get involved.

After a few minutes of standoff, a leader type of guy negotiated that if I apologized to the first guy, he would guaranty my safely out of the bar. I had him get my cell phone and my neck chain which had been stolen and left. Obviously that was the last time to visit that bar.

80

No, my December thing isn’t a fight. My instructor and I are going to California for a four day training camp with Chuck Liddell’s trainer.

Spot on, the whole thing.