How handy would you be in a fight?

In My Humble Opinion
101

Well at 65 I’d be absolutely bloody useless unless I could get in a swift blow with my zimmer frame.

Only ever had 2 fights in my life and won 'em both ::insert smug smile here::

  1. Kid at school took to bullying me, I waited and one day smacked him full in the chops with a tree branch. He left me alone after that, so did others.

  2. Guy in a pub groped my wifes arse, I belted him with a small wooden barstool, he went down, I got taken to court, my brief got me off scot free.

Yep, include me in with the dirty fighters.

102

Hmmm… While I’ve only been in one real ‘fight’ (got sucker punched and fell down, but was fine), I do have several years of training in shotokan karate. Basic strikes, blocks, holds, etc etc. I also get quite crazy when I’m angry and the adrenaline is pumping, although I’ve never had a chance to use this in a fight. I spar regularly in karate and I can hold my own, but honestly that’s so different from a bar fight it’s not even funny.

So, in summary I would be ok, but nothing special. Maybe if I start training like pravnik… (seriously, I’m impressed!)

103

I’m pretty good at throwing people around and have enough high-school wrestling experience to know how to grapple. As for causing damage with my own fists, I’d be useless.

To borrow from So I Married an Axe Murderer, I practice the Gaelic martial art of FUKYU! It mostly involves headbutting and kicking them while they’re down.

104

Am I allowed to get my dad to beat them up?
Is begging for mercy an option?

105

I imagine I’d be okay. Not great, but not completely useless either. I’m a small young adult female, in decent shape. Girls, especially small girls, tend to be taught very young that the world is a very scary place, and people are out to get them. Corner one, and you have probably just cornered someone whose street-fighting style could be compared to that of a house cat on PCP. Small terrified girls eye-gouge, claw, bite, kick and stomp anything they can reach.

On the other hand, because I’m a small girl, I think I would have to try fairly hard to start a fight between me and some guy, even in the sorts of places where fighting is common. As was mentioned above, most guys of the habitual bar-fighting variety won’t hit girls, even if the girl in question is trying to maim and/or neuter him. If he fought me and hurt me, his friends would beat the snot out of him for hitting a woman, and if he fought me and lost, his friends would beat the snot out of him for losing to a girl.

A much more likely scenario is that someone would pick a fight with the guy(s) I was with, ‘on my behalf’, as it were. In that case, if someone were getting really stomped, I would probably do the stupid thing and try to sucker punch someone, swing a stool, or otherwise distract the attackers as much as I could. When a 5’2" woman jumps on you from behind, loops a forearm around your neck, and yanks backwards while kicking one of your knees, it is surprisingly effective at landing you on the floor.