Question for those who have experienced particularly successful periods in thier life that didn’t last say more than a decade. Just speaking for myself the biggest thing I noticed was at family gatherings. Normally durring group discussion we interupt one another, argue, roll our eyes etc. Durring my successful period it seemed almost to the point of being uncomfortable that whenever I would speak it would suddenly get quiet and no one would interupt. I would sometimes be on the receiving end of litttle snide outbursts that seemed to come out of nowhere. I often had the feeling in conversations that the content of what I was saying had very little to do with how it was being recieved as much as some perceived rule that my new qualifications automaticaly made my statement count more than others.
Once my life returned to normal all the relationship dynamics returned to normal as well. Have others experienced this?
Perhaps it would be helpful if you defined what you mean by “success”.
Because in the situation you’ve laid out, it seems as you’re defining “success” as however you THINK your family defines it. And your use of “normal” implies that “success” is not just meeting the family’s basic performance measures, but exceeding them.
Personally, I don’t define success that way. Partially because I don’t know what my family considers a success, but mainly because I evaluate myself against my own standards, not someone else’s (or at least I try to). I am successful because I am educated, I have a career, and I’m content with myself and where I am in life. I was treated differently when I didn’t have these things, but that’s probably because I was just a kid at the time.
The 30-year-old uncle that cracks everyone up at the Thanksgiving dinner table can turn into the 60-year-old uncle that everyone wishes would STFU. The 20-year-old nephew who everyone teases at the Thanksgiving dinner table grows up to be the 40-year-old nephew who everyone worships. Are you sure this kind of dynamic isn’t going on as opposed to everyone fixating on your “success”?
I didn’t define success because it would be relative to the family. In my particular case we are all working middle class with high school educations at that time. I had a business take off for about 1o real good years. A few years before my older brother had about a 7 year good run while my younger brother came on later with a 15 year strong run. It always seemed if one of us was having a good run the others would feel less qualified to voice an opinion if thier situation at the time was not so good. It was never a case where the successful one saw himself as better or smarter, maybe more confident which tends to go with the territory.