Did you eat them? Or would that have turned your experiment into vivisection???
Oh, I’m with you! That rabbit was callously disregarding the expensive landscaping I spend *hours and hours * cultivating and nurturing out here. Not to mention his callous disregard for the *miles and miles * of redundant fence he had to violate to get to where he was to carry out his dastardly deeds.
He must have been a very, very bad person in a past life to get what he got from the business end of my golf club.
Come to think of it, he did kinda look like Hitler. Funny little mustache and all.
My now deceased cat was passive and mostly lovable until he rolled over for a tummy rub. Maybe I did it too roughly but after about ten seconds he would latch on with all four paws with claws to my arm. It never really hurt and I found it funny that I could provoke such a response from a normally docile cat. This went on for 17 years, I guess he had to let out his frustration on being a house cat.
I have a cat that is terrified of aluminium foil. I think it is a combination of a large, bright “thing” seeming to come out of nowhere and then “roar” when we tear it off the roll.
One day I decided to take a roll of aluminium foil into the living room, and pulled out a length as she came in.
I felt bad for 2 reasons:
- She was more than simply scared… think TERRIFIED… (Backed slowly out of the room in a crouch, screaming and hissing
and - the trail of urine she left behind her…
I knew this was “too much” and never did it again…
ALSO
(Same cat)
I bought a new mini compressor for my air brush. Instead of roaring away and suddenly stopping, like my old 10 gallon model, this one purred away softly and then stopped when its tiny tank was pressurised. Esprit came into the art room, and was fascinated by this item… and approached it warily after it stopped, having pressurised the tank. I was using the airbrush, and only saw her come slowly up to the pump and give it a casual, exploratory “sniff”…
Just then it "decided’ to start back up and repressurise the tank…
She LEAPT backwards, again leaving a trailing arc of fear released urine…
poor Esprit! One of the few cats I know which has developed the instinct of “carefull! It might go off!! !”
Regards
FML
When I worked in Alaska, my boss had a white boxer who suffered from hip dysphasia. The dog took to sleeping the boss’s office. I’d come in in the morning and he’d be snoring away. I’d go to the mess hall and grab some leftover sausages. I straightened out a wire coat hanger and attach a sausage and dangle it about two inches from his nose. He’d eventually start twitching his nose and I’d jerk the sausage away just before he opened his eyes. He’d look around with a puzzled expression, and go back to sleep. I had to finally knock it off when he started slobbering all over the floor. When the boss came in, I’d just look completely innocent, and the boss would have to clean up the mess.
I made up to the dog by massaging his hip joints. He liked it so much that he’d back up to my desk using just his front legs, with his ass in the air begging for a massage. He looked completely ridiculous, but I knew he was in great pain, so I never laughed at him.
I got Meowy Christmas by The Jingle Cats for my dad last Christmas. It’s basically Christmas songs play with sampled meows, and I bought it for all its campy goodness. The bonus was the consternation it caused his cat, which climbed on and behind the speakers trying to figure out where those damned cats were hiding.
Geez, all my early attempts to tease animals by poking them, pulling their tails etc got me bitten by them so I had to come up with more subtle stuff. For instance, when my parents’ dog whimpers at me I’ll ask “What’s the matter Lassie? Is Timmy hurt?”
I can annoy my female ringneck parrot by singing, laughing, sneezing, or existing. She’ll scream at me till she’s blue in the face. (Okay, she’s a blue mutation, but once she starts screaming she doesn’t stop for a mundane thing like breathing.)
Or the Cat Carrier.
We do that to our cats when they start talking up a storm. “What’s wrong, Quicksilver? Did Timmy fall in the well??”
three…two…one… tumbleweed. * an eerie silence befalls the forum.*
I knitted a headband for my daughter. It turned out to be too small for her head, but it was the perfect size to serve as a belly band for the cats. They hate it, of course, but neither of them can get it off, so they settle for shooting us dirty looks and then pointedly turning around and ignoring us until we take pity and remove it.
Why are cats so much more fun to annoy than almost any other animal (except maybe goats)?
Our late, lamented dwarf hamster Seashell had a routine: when she got tired after running around on the couch, she would go over to the corner, stick her nose in between the cushions, wiggle it in as far as she could, and then fall fast asleep. We called it her ostrich impersonation.
Of course, this made it a virtual requirement to tickle her butt. When it got to be too much, she would pull her head out, look back over her shoulder, and shoot us the MOTHER of all Dirty Looks ™. (Sadly, I don’t have a picture of that.)
My worthless cat sleeps most of the day- and is a young cat. So I turned the electric blanket up to maximum (winter here) to fry her arse- I mean make her uncomfortable. She loved it! Cats are smarter than me.
I sometimes used to feed my dog pieces of fudge toffee, and then after about 5 or 6 cubes, substitute a triple lemon Opal Fruit, and watch his face scrunch up as he tried to remove it from his teeth. Oh, how I used to chuckle!
I love annoying my cats!
-I like to pick them both up and make them ‘kiss’ each other. They hate that.
-They also hate being held over a full bathtub
-If I catch one of them drinking from the toilet, I try to push them in
-If one of them is walking across the room towards me, I freeze and make like I’m stalking them. It’s hilarious. They make noises that sound like ‘OK knock it off. You’re not hunting me. Are you? This isn’t funny anymore’
-If I find one of them sleeping on linoleum, I like to run at them full speed while clomping my feet loudly on the floor. They don’t know whether to shit or go blind and watching them spin out on the linoleum is hilarious.
-Putting tape on one paw is pretty funny, but tape on all four is a laff riot
-They hate ‘flying kitty’: picking one up and throwing them into the air so they land on the bed. Extra points if you can make the cat do flips and rolls.
-I also like to pull on their lips and whiskers when they’re sleeping. Or sticking things in their mouths.
Also, I’m not actually sure if they were annoyed, terrified, or buzzing their little heads off, but when I was about 10 or 11, me and my younger brother would take our 3 mice upstairs, chalk a crude target on some curtains, and play “Mouse Darts”! Don’t worry, we only used to throw them under-arm.
Just coming from a flute lesson, I can also add that I annoy my teacher’s cat by… playing the flute. The first lesson I went to with her was a shared one with my brother. The three of us were playing long high notes in unison to warm up and as a tone exercise and her little kitty jumped up onto her lap and started batting at her flute. It was hilarious.
What are you running, some kind of… oyster cult?
[If you’d written “loud, erotic music…,” the full band name would’ve fit perfectly.]
My brother, when he was much younger, would occasionally use our family pet as a Cat Hat. He’d lie our cat over the top of his head and then stroke the cat, who would purr contentedly and miraculously not claw him or wee on his head. 
Margaret Mahy wrote a story about a cat who ended up accidentally replacing a hat. Google tells me it’s called The Three-Legged Cat. Cute book, that.