I just opened a can, and the “meat” said it was really hungry…
I’d hop on the intercom and demand price checks on obscure items as a way to stall the cops.
“PRICE CHECK ON… THE BROOKLYN BRIDGE. OR I’M NOT COMING OUT.”
I think I’m going to start working on a screenplay for a short film called “That Wacky Gunman”. There are lots of good ideas!
[ul]
[li]I think I would squeeze the Charmin.[/li][li]I think I would break open one of those little $0.25 toy machines and see if the good toys that they show on the front are actually IN the machine or if it’s a big rip-off.[/li][li]Ooooooooh! Imagine the fun you could have with 1000 SuperBalls![/li][li]I would attempt to break the world’s record for the world’s biggest ciggarette by wrapping cartons and cartons worth of ciggarette tobacco in butcher paper.[/li][li]I’d right an article for consumer Reports entitledNyquil vs. Vicks 44M: Which gets you drunk faster[/li][li]I’d set up a store-wide dominos course with boxes of different foods. There would be pyrotechnics and other visual effects.[/li][li]I would make an entire edible ensemble out of fruit-roll-ups.[/li][li]I would dye my hair blonde, and when the cops finally stormed I would put on a fake bavarian accent and act like I was a hostage that no one knew was there.[/li][/ul]
Joey Hemlock-- you, Sir, are one silly and twisted individual.
I think I’d take the cans of soda, shake them up, and throw them against the walls 
I think I’d take the canteloupe and step on it. yea, that’d be fun
I think I’d throw tomatoes at the windows
I think I’d take a daisy, and hold it in my hand while lighting the cardboard cereal boxes on fire and singing Kum-Bay-ya