How important can it be?

The BBQ Pit
1

I have seen some posts, and now one from Coldfire, who apparently Can’t Understand Normal Thinking.

There was a comment that some of you want my blood for my remarks about Wally.

My remarks, as they are called, were who was he and what did he do.

I do not remember reading anything about him.

The only posters who I remember are the gal who has a terminal illness, because I am interested in Neurology, and one by a guy who wrote at least he didn’t kill the cat.

The rest of the time I read some posts and as soon as I log off don’t give this another thought.

Now this DC says I am lying. About what?

I don’t remember this guy.

2

lindsay, I believe the problem was that you insinuated we were all nuts for caring he died. And hell, that pisses even me off. Add in that yep, you had talked to him, and you look like a liar.

Thanks for playing.

3

I don’t insinuate anything. If I thought you were nuts for caring, I’d say so.

That said, it struck me as unusual that his death would be posted immediately. I couldn’t help but wonder how or who runs to the internet as soon as someone dies to make a post.

Nothing wrong with it. However, in the few cases where I’ve been told someone close to me has died, I never thought of calling people I have never met to say this person has just died.

No matter how many times you tell me that Wally and I exchanged anything I don’t remember it.

That should in no way diminish any of the grief any of you feel because I do not remember his postings.

I don’t know that whoever posted the notice of his death did so immediately but that is my guess from the banner.

I’ve never met any of you, and make no judgements on any of you.

But why are you blaming me for not remembering the guy?

Hell, I don’t remember most of the people I deal with over the phone at work.

4

I don’t remember talking to him.

Do you think I would have asked if I knew who he was?

5

Lindsay,

Well now you know. And now you know you are hurting REAL people. We are not just some text on your computer screen. We are real humans with real lives, real friends, and real feelings for those we have lost.
So now show some real respect and drop the whole thing.
Do not even respond to this. If you really do not care about the message board and the people on it then it will not bother you to just not respond and drop this.
Good day

6

So, “Lindsay”, you don’t remember Wally, you have a wretched memory for faces and itty-bitty, boring personal details.

Yeah, right, fine. Yadda, yadda, yadda.

So you somehow managed to miss one of the most prolific and funniest posters on the board. He never registered on your radar. Ohhh-kaaay. So basically he was nothing to you at all.

Then why the hell are you crawling through the muck, starting your fourth thread raking up his death and not very subtlely mocking the mourning? And don’t hand me the happy crap you’ve been insinuating about wallowing in grief. Until you started your trolling, the only active threads even tangentially connected to Wally and death were yours.

Pretty damned weird, rotten behavior for someone who repeatedly claims not to even remember the man.

But you just can’t stop justifying your vile conduct, can you? Now it’s sly, evil little sideswipes at Shayna, who so bravely broke the hard news to the TM. See, fuckwit, we did know Wally, had wondered at his absence, and were worried sick when his daughter told of his accident.

Oh, but I suppose, in your selective ignorance, you somehow also overlooked the pages of posts in the “Announcement” thread. Easy to do, hmmm, since the thread only stayed at the top of the board for days.

Listen, people around here are known by their words and actions. Most are fine folks who make real friends. The fact that you’re totally bereft of the slightest decency, good intent or any vestigal redeeming quality reflects solely on you.

In cordial loathing,
Veb

7

I cannot believe that you continue to post this shit.
Really I cannot
I have known stupid, ignorant people in my life, but you take the cake. I can’t even begin to fathom how you have survived this long in the world. You are continually proving Darwin’s “Survival of the Fittest” theory wrong by waking up every morning.
At this point, there is only two options. You are so completely, utterly brain dead that you don’t know what you’re doing is wrong, or you are doing it on purpose. It seems to me it’s the latter.
Do you think you are impressing us with your wit? Newsflash, Hon, you haven’t got any. Do you think you are impressing us with your intelligence? A fucking house plant has a higher IQ. Are we supposed to be swept away with your posts? You can’t even type in full paragraphs!
Now, I want you to pay close attention to this paragraph. Watch how I string more than 2 sentences together. Do you see? Isn’t that kinda cool? No, I’m not magic. Anybody can do this! Well, ok, almost anybody.Sorry if you have already tried and found it too difficult to continue.
Although, I must admit, I am glad you started posting. I’ve always wanted to meet someone who has had a full-frontal lobotomy. But when you go the doctor next, tell him he didn’t do it right. You are still spewing forth shit. Really, you should get that checked into.

8

“People you never met” is not a good criteria for the internet. Geographic proximity is not a prerequisite for meaningful dialogue and good relationships.

I am on an email list with a group of other women who went through pregnancy at about the same time. I have met only three of them, only possible when family travel has happened to drop me near to their hometowns. If something went wrong with my son or husband, they’d be among the first people I’d want to tell. I connect with them in ways that are just as important (to me) as the connections I have with family and friends I see in person.

My mother plays internet Scrabble with a group of people. She’s been playing with them for years now. She lives in Nebraska. They live all over the world. She has only met one of them. Does this mean they shouldn’t care about her? React to her joys and tragedies? Some of them sent me, her daughter whom they had never even swapped an e-mail with, wedding gifts.

It didn’t strike me as odd at all that people would react this way to Wally’s passing. Or that his family, who also know the boards, would make an effort to inform us. For the record, I didn’t know Wally (joined just when the accident had happened, a few days before he died).

9

First off, I will not flame you. I will try to present things in a different way.

A large part of Wally’s life was his friendship online with the many people who cared for him, and his friendship to these people was very important to them. He was a large part of many people’s lives, as they were a large part of his. Your analogy of calling to inform of his passing is not quite valid in this circumstance - there must be a good way to inform those who loved him quickly, completely, and accurately the sad events that unfolded. Direct e-mail is not a good option, because Wally touched many people who he never even directly talked to or communicated with, such as myself.

I will ask that you consider this in the light that these are different times than traditional perhaps, and announcements and shows of support online will become more and more popular as this online world advances. Although I preach often to not let flames, criticism, and negativity online matter to you at all, because they are just silly words on a monitor, I also preach (in a contradictory manner) that the positive aspects of online life should be something that DOES matter. Wally was a positive aspect of this board, and he mattered.

I think that when you are around many others who have suffered a loss you must exercise some caution of speech and action, regardless of whether you knew the deceased or not, or even care. Since there is not an easy way to seperate the board into - God forbid - the “SDMB for those who cared” and the “SDMB for those who don’t”, it is almost as if you have gone to church for a sermon, and they are holding a funeral for a beloved member of the congregation at the same time. You didn’t go there for it, but you would exercise some sympathy and restraint in speech IRL, correct? These fine people that cared for Wally deserve at least the same restraint.

I for one will give you the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes what we write does not communicate as we would like. I think you accidentally did not realize the extent of the emotion involved, and I believe that your comments were not intended to add to the grief of others. Perhaps your question could have been worded with a little more sensitivity, just as you would ask others in my church example who the deceased was, what he was known for, and was he a good man. And Wally was a good man, a good husband, father, boss, and an esteemed member of this online community.

Anyways, there are 3 ways you can go from here, IMHO:

  1. You can admit that you accidentally may not have shown enough decorum, and continue on being a member of this good little community. And people will call you “friend”.

  2. You can ignore this, and just keep on posting. Many will have hard feelings towards you for a while, and it will not be as easy to be accepted or taken seriously.

  3. You react with anger and resentment, end up becoming a butthead, and you will quickly be openly mocked, reviled, and tormented until you leave. I don’t recommend this.

  4. You can leave at any time. I don’t recommend this either.

The choice is yours dear. I’ve made a faux pas or twenty in my time, and sometimes it’s best to apologize and move on, even if you didn’t intend to offend.

Anyways, my stupid thoughts.

Anthracite

10

Just a clarification here. Wally had made a great many friends here, some of whom he communicated with off the board via ICQ. Also, he had introduced his daughter Amy to the board. When he died, Amy knew that his many friends would want to know about it, so she contacted one of his good friends on the board, Shayna, who informed the rest of us.

When my father died, we tried to contact all of his friends. Although Mom knew all of them at some level, there were some that she had had almost no contact with. I’m sure some of them in turn contacted other friends; for instance, in the carving club that Dad was a member of, Mom contacted the president and he contacted the other members.

I can understand that it hasn’t happened to you yet, but the people on this board form real friendships just like people who see each other face to face. We are deeply grateful to Amy and Shayna for letting us know what happened to Wally, because he was such an important part of this board and a good friend to many of the people who are part of this board.

11

lindsay said
**
I don’t remember talking to him.

Do you think I would have asked if I knew who he was? **

Yes lindsay I do think you would do that. Many of your post have shown your lack of simple human decency and or compassion.

You interacted with Wally here

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=10625

And here are some more of your threads he posted to

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=10520

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=20780

There are more, but frankly proving just how much of a liar you are isn’t worth any more of my time.

This is a message board lindsay, people get to know you by your words and your words only. Thus far you haven’t shown yourself to be a person I want to know.

Wally did show himself to be a funny, caring , intelligent person, with wit, style and class. I for one felt honored to have known him, even if it was only by his posts.

And I am glad his daughter saw fit to inform Shayna of his passing, and am thankful that Shayna let us know.

This board is much poorer for his loss. He knew how we felt about him because we let him know, just as we are letting you know how we feel about you. The word disgust comes to mind.

For your own sake I suggest a name change and a good squicking to clear your mind before you post anymore.

JMHO of course.

12

lindsay, I don’t know about the other members of the board, but I, for one, would like to punch you in the face.

–Tim

13

Then you’re a bitch.

If informing the people your dead loved one cared about never ever came to mind, you obviously didn’t give a shit about the dear departed or their feelings.

If I died, I’d hope that the people who know and care about me IRL would think to inform the people who know and care about me online of my passing.

14

It sure does look like this Coldfire prick is the problem here, eh?

What’s a DC? Educate a stupid furrener while you’re at it.

I’m with TVeblen. You have raised the issue far too many times now for it just to be an innocent question. The only conclusion is that you are deliberately trying to piss people off about it. Especially with all the evidence pointing in the direction that you damn well knew who Wally was.

Trying to piss us off is one thing. It happens all the time, and we always seem to be able to deal with that.

But trying to piss us off by belittling the influence WallyM7 had on us is just beyond human decency, Lindsay.
You disgust me.

I’d crack a good smile if I learned about your demise, you filthy little cunt. I know, I know. Just words on a screen, right? Rest assured I mean them this time, dumb bitch.

15

How the hell has she got up to 269 posts without being banned yet? I suggest it not wait until number 270.

16

Lindsay you seem to like trying to push people buttons .

Lets see some of the topics you addressed .

[ul]
[li]Not giving blood coz someone pissed you off .[/li][li]What’s so special about smoking[/li][li]Should fat people have to pay more on planes[/li][li]And now this muck which you will not let go .[/li][/ul]
Are you just a troll fuck or something else ?

You wouldn’t be trying to invoke reactions would you . I don’t suppose in real life your initials aren’t M.S . are they ? ( probably just my over caffinated paranoid mind )

One way or the other you are a fucking moron and don’t deserve the time these good people have spent on you . You have not one shred of common decency . You said you read the condolences thread . That’s 9+ pages of people either showing their respects or sharing their pain with each other and you still try to rub salt into a open wound .

Whether you motives are innocent ( very unlikely ) or malicious , they are not welcome . So please shut the fuck up and stop this now .

17

Anthracite: obviously I have hurt some feelings and I do regret that.

Let me explain how I do not remember any of what some people said I wrote to Wally.

I get up at 8:00 a.m. most mornings to cook lunch and take it to my SO at his office and wait with him while he eats. I bring the dishes back and get home around 1:30 pm.

Then there is my boss who likes for me to work for her.

That takes at least 4 to 5 hours a day. I talk to people in person, face to face every weekday. I don’t remember most of those conversations.

Factor in that March is the one month I remember one thing, my appointment to have my teeth cleaned.

In April my best friend whom I hadn’t seen in 7 years finally got here for a long overdue visit. There was much hugging and laughter, and I got to finally cook her favourite foods. I had so looked forward to seeing her.

I take photographs of neighbors pets, with and without the owners.

There are visits to the doc every month. There was even a brief hospital stay in May.

Add to that, the laundry, cooking and house cleaning, that takes a few hours.

Then there are orders to be picked up, supplies to be ordered.

There is my field of interest in Neurology and FII and finding papers on rare illnesses.

There are the visits to the vet.

Also as one of the sources of genealogy for those of Swiss heritage, and I mail out by surface mail many packages.

I’ve just started writing to a cousin this April, haven’t see her in years.

Now consider that I have been a member since March, 2000. for a month I did not have access to the Internet.

That leaves March, May and June for my being able to post messages on the SD boards.

Considering all the people I talk to face to face, at least 100 a week, I am not at all surprised that I don’t remember getting messages from Wally.

That doesn’t even take in the many e-mail messages I receive, and if I didn’t print a lot of those, I would have no idea of who wrote what or when.

In no way did I mean any disrespect for the loss of Wally.
That would be incredibly stupid of me, and I apologize if this is how you read my postings.

True, I don’t express things as well as I could have.

I would ask that you overlook any clumsiness on my part if I garble something, which I do, often.

The loss of anyone who brought joy to so many of you is indeed tragic. It is even more so that apparently he sent me some posts and I do not remember them.

The ones I remember most vividly are people I’ve met in person. It seems I have missed the opportunity to get to know WallyM7s wit, and that is sad.

I don’t know how else to say this, but with dealing with so many people every day, I do not know how I could remember every on-line exchange I’ve had.

Someone has kindly posted links that I will take a look at, perhaps it will refresh my memory.

Again, no disrespect was ever meant.

18

That must have been the most incoherent shit I ever read. Lindsay, do you think the rest of us live here permanently? How come our memories work so much better than yours?

19

I just read the thread where lindsay said she wouldn’t be donating blood anymore just because some guy pissed her off, and Wally (rightfully) called her a troll. Hmmmm, I wonder if that has anything to do with her degrading Wally.

Putting someone down who can’t defend himself is pretty darn low on my list. I never knew WallyM7, but from what I’ve read it seems he was one of the most well-loved and respected people on here. It sickens me that someone would degrade him like that.

20

lindsay, you are so full of shit I bet your eyes are brown. You start off asking this question about who Wally was in GD. You have been around here long enough to know what should be posted where. Let’s face it you wanted a confrontation, well you got it. Do you truely think you are the only person here with a life ? You excuses were bs, lots of people here have lives and they don’t act like you do. Not to mention the fact that more than one woman who post here have husbands, children and full time jobs.

You haven’t hurt my feelings, you have pissed me off, big difference !