How important is the religion/lack thereof of your future SO?

[Hampshire]

@Dinsdale

Been married 23 years so I didn’t fill out the poll. But I’d say VERY important.

Wife and I are both strongly nontheistic - our 3 kids have turned out to be as well. I would have a lot of difficulty living with someone who chose to be irrational about something like religion. I could imagine being with someone who had weak religious leanings for a “god of the gaps.” But can’t imagine truly respecting someone (in the manner I believe spouses ought to respect each other) if they strongly believed in any particular theology.

Wow, similar for me but have only been married 7 years.
I thought I wanted to marry an old girlfriend who was a devout Luthern while I was very non-religious. I imagined it wouldn’t be an issue.
Now that I am married to a similar non-religious type person and can first hand see how much our values had to be in sync to deal with some heavy issues (infertility, deaths of preemies, raising our son, aging parents, etc.) I question whether it would have ever worked out with the Luthern gal.

[BleizDu]

@Dinsdale

Been married 23 years so I didn’t fill out the poll. But I’d say VERY important.

Wife and I are both strongly nontheistic - our 3 kids have turned out to be as well. I would have a lot of difficulty living with someone who chose to be irrational about something like religion. I could imagine being with someone who had weak religious leanings for a “god of the gaps.” But can’t imagine truly respecting someone (in the manner I believe spouses ought to respect each other) if they strongly believed in any particular theology.

Yes this. Whether it’s being really religious, believing in paranormal, in conspiration theories or some kind of bunk alternative stuff, I wouldn’t be able to deal with sharing my life with someone I would think is being irrational about a good part of the world.

[the_first_supraliminal]

I was married for 24 years, and it wouldn’t have lasted one if she’d taken up a religion or supernatural belief, My sister went from atheist to Zen in order to meet people. She did find her husband at the Zen compound, but that estranged her from me.

[EvilTOJ]

I think it depends. If her religion is for spiritual enlightenment and I don’t have to drink the kool-aid (so to speak) then I don’t have a problem with it either. I am disgusted by proselytizers so I would never be in love with one.

[Never_Say_Dice]

“Totally important. I pursue people I know to share my beleif.” I think you mean “befile”, as in share my joint tax return.

[Pray_4_Mojo]

I’ve been married for 10 years, but when we got married my wife made it clear that she is a devout Catholic & God comes first in her life and that her religious beliefs are one of if not THE most defining thing about her, and that she cannot share a life with someone who does not share her beliefs. I was raised Catholic but didn’t care one way or another, until I met her, then I felt that God put the two of us together. Flash forward to now, and for reasons I don’t have time to go into now, I’ve come to believe that all gods/religions are a crock of shit. She went apeshit when I told her, claiming there was something “wrong” with me, and that I’m a coward for not seeking help from the church & instead just reading atheist texts & watching atheist youtube videos. I told her she’s the coward for never looking outside her religious box and if you just open your mind for a minute and think logically about religion and the whole god concept, that you’d stop believing just like I did. She refuses to even consider letting go of her faith, because it “defines” her and without belief in eternal life, she has no hope.

I don’t know what our future holds, but should things go sour to the point where we split up, I’d definitely have to consider religious beliefs/lack thereof in any future partner. I try not to begrudge people their religious beliefs even though I now consider them stupid & immature, but if they’re going to be so rigid & inflexible about it, I wouldn’t want to be with them.

[Procrustus]

1. I could never have a serious relationship with someone who believed in a god in the traditional way. I’d be a little wary of anyone who professed to be “spiritual” as well.

2. I would not marry a zombie.

[footballisplayedwithyourfeet]

For me it is very simple, I can’t imagine truly respecting someone who believes in any fixed religion. I’m not to sure about people who think ‘there’s something’, but I don’t have any personal respect for people who believe in what I consider to be fairy tales. I might respect their work or their demenor, but I would find it incredibly dificult to respect their belief.

I don’t think I could ever be with someone I didn’t respect on a personal level.

ps This post will probably mean I’ll fall madly in love with a very religious girl wihin a week

[Troppus]

I’m okay with most any definition of spiritual or metaphysical that refers to meditative, contemplative thoughts. Any whiff of superstition or references to supernatural entities gives me pause.

ETA: My answer only applies to life partners. Most of my friends are some degree of religious, primarily Christian due to my habitat. I fully support their beliefs and participate in church-related activities whenever invited and my lack of belief is immaterial and never discussed.

[lavenderviolet]

My long-term SO and I have different religious views. The religious difference doesn’t really matter because we have similar values and mutual respect.
I would find it difficult to be in a relationship with a Scientologist because I have no respect for their beliefs and think anyone who takes Scientology seriously is an idiot.
However with most other religions, if the person is respectful and understands that not everyone in the world sees things the same way, I could see it working.

[Really_Not_All_That_Bright]

Heh. I was single when I voted in this poll, and now I’m married. Still don’t care; I’m an atheist and the wife is a very half-assed Methodist.