I fell in love with one once. She and I would have passionate discussions on the issue of there being a God. I never did ask her out, though it was apparent that I liked her. She wouldn’t have dated me because of my beliefs, (or lack of beliefs), among other things I’m sure.
She was not at all homophobic, but she didn’t believe in abortion, (which I do, but admit that it’s one of those things I struggle with).
My father’s an Atheist and my mother’s a believer and they’ve been happily married for years. Is believing in a God a “deal breaker” for some of you?
Sure, why not? Half of the last six women I was seriously involved with are believers. They were not Bible-thumping, Hellfire and brimstone type women, but they believed in God. And one non-believer (lapsed Catholic) went to a Unitarian church pretty often, and sometimes dragged me along. It was mostly because she liked singing in the choir.
I don’t know how serious you have to be to be a “believer”, but I’m an atheist and my wife is sort of religious (though quite sensible otherwise). We simply agreed to disagree on that point, and we’ve been married for 20 years now.
ETA: But the children seem to take after Dad in that department
I’m adding more dealbreakers every day, though. Now my hierarchy is
religion
right wing politics
smoking
pets
illiteracy
The more attractive any of the above are to women, the less attractive I find them these days (list subject to change, and certainly to addition. If I keep looking, I should find a woman by 2043.)
Of my relationships in the last couple of decades, the worst two were with atheists. Not only did they not believe, but they had a lot of bitterness towards the Catholic church. It got to be a burden a little too often.
One Christmas I wanted to get a kresh. (And finally did.) It wasn’t that I held any belief, obviously, but I had one growing up and I think they’re kind of nice. Live-in GF was not pleased. She looked at it with such contempt and wondered why I had to bring that “thing” into our home. It made the season a little less pleasant.
If he wasn’t a fundamentalist, it wouldn’t be a dealbreaker. Well, probably only if he were Jewish. (Which is my own background, so I’m irrationally more accepting of it.) I’m not sure I could deal with even a mildly religion Christian or Muslim. I have friends who are mildly religious Christians and Muslims and they’re great, but I wouldn’t want to date them.
I’m not sure that religion would be the dealbreaker. I dated a guy who was an atheist and in almost all ways philosophically compatible, but he was anti-choice, which really bothered me. It wasn’t the reason we broke up, but I don’t think I’d date someone who’s anti-choice again.
One really strong relationship I know of (13 years, married, 1 kid so far) is between a Communist and a (not devout, but she believes in God and wanted a church wedding) believer. But she is C of E, a religion so meh that I was one for a decade before I realised it was C of E rather than C.O.V.
When I met my husband he was atheist and I was a lackadaisical believer. I told him it was a dealbreaker. We got married the next year.
I’m an atheist now (I think that’s what I was fearing in the first place) and I’m a little wiser, so I’m not about to label it a dealbreaker. But I don’t think I could be involved with someone who didn’t find religion at least funny and, well, unsacred. I can’t go through life avoiding topics.
ETA: kresh = creche
Plain old “Yeah, I believe” but not churchgoing, devout or rabidly religious? Sure.
Evangelical or preachy in any way, devout, every-Sunday-churchgoer, thinks I’m foolish and deluded for not believing? Dealbreaker.
Also, you have to define “date.” Would I date a believer? Yes, once. Until I found out he was all churchy and then I run screaming for the hills. Second date? Maybe, if religion didn’t come up on the first date. Would I date for six months with an eye on a serious relationship? Probably not.
I’ll even go out with a Republican, maybe once. It’s subsequent dates that sort of depend on how rabid the person is with their religion. That said, a rabidly devout Buddhist is like a whole other critter from a devout Pentacostal. So it kind of depends on the religion as well and to the degree the other person expects their religion to drive *my *choices.
I haven’t completely ruled believers out, as that severely limits one’s dating pool, but it’s getting harder and harder to have respect for them, so I do see putting such a kibosh on them in the future.
I consider myself quite tolerant. The only thing I can’t accept is intolerance and bigotry.
And frankly, considering even moderate theism a dealbreaker for dating seems somewhat intolerant to me.
I’m an atheist, and married a Catholic, in a Catholic church, a bit over 30 years ago. It’s still working for us. I even go to mass once or twice a year – though, of course, I never take communion – and I’m even in the local parish’s directory as a member, though (again of course) I’m really not.
We agree on sex (lots), money (I have enough and she has her own income), kids (we’re through in that department), and we’re both social - liberal, fiscal - conservatives.
She hints religion once in awhile but I cheerfully chide back about her “praying for parking spaces toward the front of the lot”. I posit that oG probably pawns the small stuff on some under-angel and things drop. The agreement is that she doesn’t try to convert me and I won’t point her to the religion threads here on the Dope!
Intolerant is not wanting to work or live next to someone that believes differently than you. Not wanting to have a long-term intimate relationship with them isn’t intolerant.
Date, maybe. Everyone is entitled to their beliefs, and I don’t particularly have any beef with pantheists (though they tend to find my brand of atheism tiresome), but I happen to think religious beliefs are important enough to think about, and serious believers I cannot date, and not-serious believers I don’t respect much.
Anyway, I am of an age where children are pretty much a “now or never” option - at least for women my age - and I will not accept any children of mine being raised in a religion. So, basically, never say never, but I doubt it’ll work in the long time.
Would I date for six months with an eye on a serious relationship? Probably not.