I’m sure we’ve done this before, and I’m sure that we’ve covered this topic before, but here goes. (And if anyone has links to previous similar threads, please feel free to link so you don’t have to retype what is probably the same advice.)
We’ve known each other for over a year, and when I finally found a new job, I asked her out. From Day 1, we hit it off. In fact, I hit it off with her better and deeper than anyone else I’ve ever dated. We took it slow, and really savored that New [del]Car[/del] Relationship Smell.
But a month ago, she asked me what my religious beliefs were, and I explained that I was an atheist. I’m not a militant atheist, I’m not in your face about it. She expressed some shock. But by this point, she knew the type of person I was, and that didn’t jibe with her preconceived notions of what she thought it meant to be an atheist. Last week, she was over, and she brought it up again - it had been gnawing away at her. So I explained as best I could, being very serious that it had taken me years to wrap my head around it, I didn’t expect her to do so in an evening.
Well last night, she confessed that she could not see herself dating an atheist. Despite not being a churchgoer herself, and despite the fact that we share the same values, she couldn’t picture herself continuing something long-term with me. What was tipping her over the edge is extensive conversations she was having with her friends, and the fear of having that conversation with her family. Again - she’s not a churchgoer, but wants to be. In our time together, she’s never once gone to church.
I think I still have some time here. I urged her to have more conversations - but this time with ME, as well as with people that actually know ME. Things don’t seem too positive, but I know that our mutual friends are both religious as well as fair - I don’t think she’d been getting that from her conversations. Either way, I guess we’ll see. She’s out of town this weekend, but I’m going to take Sunday and go attend services at her church. I certainly don’t expect to be converted, but I’d like to see if there’s anything of value that I can get out of it. I think that would go a LONG way to help this situation.
The reason I started this thread is to see if anyone else out there has had a similar experience, and how that went, and if there are any suggestions they have.