How insanely jealous is your SO?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I was wondering if anyone else has any stories about a significant other who was jealous to the point of it being humorous. I would hate to think that I’m the only one.

My story:

My wife (girlfriend at the time) and I used to work together at a large school for the mentally retarded. Every May for Cinco de Mayo, each dorm would set up a small booth and sell a Mexican dish to raise money. The woman in charge of the project for the dorm on which I worked asked me to help her unload the stuff from her car. Unbeknownst to me, my wife saw me helping her. Later that day, my wife asked me, “What were you doing at that bitch’s car?”
“Errrr… helping her carry cans of nacho cheese for the sale?”, says I.
“No, see, that’s how it starts. First they ask you to carry stuff from their car. Then they say, ‘Oh, you did that so good, I have some stuff at home I need moved.’ Next thing you know, you’re in there f**king them.”

Please tell me it’s not just me!

2

Years ago, I had a boyfriend who was a little unbalanced, though being young I thought he was charming & quirky. Afetr about 2 months of dating, I came home from work one day & found that someone had come through a window & stolen…my telephone. Nothing else. (Not that I had much to steal at the time.) Puzzled, & a bit concerned, I made a police report, just so there would be some kind of record if something more happened.

The following weekend I saw MY telephone at the boyfriend’s house. His explanation? That he had called me several times but the line was busy, which made him angry, so he came & took my phone to “teach me a lesson.” The fact that he thought this was a normal & appropriate response to my being on the phone to someone other than him spooked me, and I broke up with him.

He probably has a long record of domestic troubles, if not violence, by now. I regarded this then, as now, as an early indication of a severely inadequate & controlling little man; unfortunately there seem to plenty of women who tolerate this sort of crap.

Oopsie, that wasn’t humorous. But, no you’re not alone, and obviously every case of insane jealousy does not indicate total flakieness!

3

My SO is insanely jealous. It can be exhausting, as I am a friendly person. He is getting better, I think he is getting more secure in our relationship.

4

Lest slythe get jealous and stop talking to me, I’m going to move this thread to its proper place, IMHO.

5

My ex-fiancee demanded to see all notes, pictures or references (like those in my day-planner) of or from ex-girlfriends or dates I had been on, then she ripped them up and burned them on a cookie tin in the middle of her floor.

Funny aside to this is that the small bonfire heated the pan so much it melted a 10" spot of her carpet.

6

My ex broke all ties with her female friends when we were married.

Used to wail on me if I got home 5 minutes late.

Wanted me to change jobs so I wouldn’t be working with any women.

Couldn’t drive anywhere without her accusing me of looking at women. Like I can scope out chicks while doing 80 down the highway… maybe it was the car I was looking at?

Not funny.

Scary.

7

Current SO is the only guy I’ve ever been with who even shows any jealousy. I actually like it - after being with my ex, who hardly showed any emotion when I told him I wanted a divorce, the obvious emotion showed when SO is jealous makes me feel pretty good!

Ironically enough, it shows up most when I mention stuff about the SDMB or other message boards. He thinks all you guys are trying to pick me up, all the time. I just let him keep thinking that way…heheheheee…

8

I once dated a guy who insisted that I never see or talk to any of my male friends again. The funny part is that I lived in a very small university residence with all my male friends, and couldn’t avoid seeing or talking to them. And I liked staying up all night playing cards with them.

This is the same guy who would come visit me on weekends and then go out to play Magic all day Saturday. I was supposed to stay in my room and study, I guess.

Needless to say, I dumped him shortly after he made the above demand (the next day, I recall).

9

Well, one time Baglady and I were in a pet shop and I saw this kitten who was just so cute and seemed to take to me immediately. I asked Baglady if we should get it, after all “it could keep me company when you are on the road.”

She became so enraged that I was “trying to replace” her that when I turned my back she drowned the kitten in its water bowl!

We just laugh about it now, but at the time I was pretty aroused that someone cared for me so much.

What? The truth? Oh, well then I have never had an SO get particularly jealous (though I once had a cat that started to pee into stove burners when we got a new kitten).

10

i’m not allowed to have any new female friends. I can keep the ones i already had, but no new ones. oh except one, but she’s a lesbian. and my gf is even iffy on that one. but hey! who wants to hang out with chicks anyway?

11

In college I started working at a local fast-food place less than a week after I had started dating a new guy. He would park his car in a parking lot across from the drive-thru and watch me work. Of course he didn’t tell me he was doing this - I finally caught him at it. I had mentioned that the manager was a jerk, so maybe my ex thought he was protecting me somehow, but it was still a little creepy.

12

I broke up w/this one guy and he asked me if it was because I wanted to “sleep w/someone else” or if I had “cheated on him”. I thought this was funni considering he had cheated on me 3 times and I was totally faithful…and I had only broken up w/him because he moved far away and I didn’t want to do the whole long distance relationship thing…I had actually forgiven him for cheating on me, but whatever, he can go to hell :slight_smile:

13

You know what?

The best way to get a guy to cheat is to accuse him and badger him of doing so or wanting to do so when it was never there in the first place.

My ex-wife did this shit to me. No female friends allowed - even the woman who happened to work in the music industry was not someone I could become friendly with. One time she came into my job when I was a waiter and while I was talking to a table fo female customers, butted in and said, “Is this part of your job?”

Eventually, you rationalize it this way: I may as well actually fuck someone else if I am going to be made to feel guilty and be accused of the act. I mean, if the punishment is enevitable no matter what, may as well actually commit a crime, right?

I learned then that jealousy is just a manifestation of someone who is insecure about something - the relationship, themselves, or anything else.

(I never did cheat on her, FTR, but it never would have even been a thought in my mind if she hadn’t put it there.)

Then there was heatherlee who WANTED me to act jealous. She would always make hints, like, “If you want me to take the pictures on my website down I will.” I heard that several times, actually. There were other things too; I’d rather not get into them, but be assured she was quite upset that I was not upset at some things.

In her case, she just couldn’t feel confident in the relationship unless I was somehow worried she was gonna fuck someone else. (Yes, the irony does not escape me.)

Well, fuck that noise.

I am now with someone with whom I don’t have to worry about this bullshit.

We live 552 (but who’s counting?) miles away. We wouldn’t last long if either of us was jealous.

Trust me on this: There’s nothing cute about jealousy. It is harmful, it is always the result of something more insidious laying beneath the surface, and nothing good can come of it.

To the OP: You need to have a talk with her. That’s the shit my ex used to pull. It only gets worse…

Yer pal,
Satan

*I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR:
Six months, two weeks, two days, 19 hours, 26 minutes and 23 seconds.
7992 cigarettes not smoked, saving $999.05.
Extra life with Drain Bead: 3 weeks, 6 days, 18 hours, 0 minutes.

I slept with a REPUBLICAN moderator!*

14

My ex used to get in a funk if she dreamed about me with another woman. She’d be mad at me the next morning…:rolleyes:

15

I’ve done that… not dreaming about my SO with another woman, but having a dream that made me mad. I dreamed once that my SO was doing something incredibly stupid, and it really pissed me off in the dream. I woke up FUMING MAD at him. Luckily, I figured out pretty quickly that he didn’t really do whatever it was I was mad at him for, but it was a pretty weird feeling. Being mad for no reason, that is.

16

My BF isn’t insanely jealous of anyone, but he is possessive, in a slight, subtle way.
For example, if we are out and I run into a male friend, and we start talking, he will be sure to put his arm around my shoulder, or take my hand, or just find some way to touch me. I guess he’s letting the other guy know not to mess with me, or him.
I think it’s kinda cute, actually.

17

This thread is making me very thankful that my SO doesn’t have a jealous or possessive bone in his body. It’s amazing that he puts up with me, because previous jealous and demented boyfriends have made me a little defensive. Just a few weeks ago …

SO: So, are you going to see your friend John while I’m out of town …

Me (about to say): oh yeah bucko? well what if I am? what’s it to you? you gotta problem with that? huh?

SO: because if you are, could you give him back this DVD I borrowed from him?

Me: Er. Oh.

Thank the powers that be for men who are secure and self-confident enough to be trusting and comfortable in a relationship!

18

I can sooo feel for you on this one! … This has happened to me on a couple of occasions. Not the sex thing (that was only once) but I would routinely get in trouble for things I had done or said in dreams … I mean for crying out fucking loud!!!

19

I love a jealous guy, and he’s the best SO.
I don’t live under his thumb, so he has plenty of chance to worry, but I always take time to reassure him. It’s not fun for him, you know, being unsure of me. If you flaunt your independence and tease with unexplained absences, he will end up hating you.

20

pepperlandgirl, my SO is the same way, I think it’s so cute. Actually he likkes to do that all the time anyway, I just like knowing that he’s close and he cares. I think he’s grown to detest my backpack, when I’m wearing it he can’t get his arms around me, he’s always trying to get me to take it off. I find it sweet.
For the OP, I don’t think I’ve ever had an SO that was all that jealous, slightly possessive, yes, but not really jealous. The guys I go out with will have to realize that I am who I am and I’m not going to change because they’re insecure. I hug my male friends… a lot. I hug my female friends too. That’s not gonna change, so they learn to live with it.

Kitty