How is your monday? -- a code yellow work rant

So this morning after my cup of hot chocolate I wandered into my office, which is located in the secured lab area, rather than the non secured, biohazzard free office part of the department. As I’m taking my ID badge and sweeping it infront of the card reader I look at the “RED BOARD OF DEATH”.

Now the Red Board of Death is a panel which has various lighted panels telling you if there are any particular problems inside the secure lab area. Almost all of them deal with the status of the BSL-4.


Is currently lit, indicating that all is not well.

So I pause for a moment and ask myself a fundamental life question:

Is the BSL-4 open and I’m now contaminated and going to die a slow lingering death. Or is there a problem with the computer system AGAIN or is the door open so they can decon the BSL-4.

It’s now 1pm, 5 hrs later I still dont know if the BSL-4 is being cleaned or not. Hell I don’t even know if anyone has bothered to report the warning light on to enviromental health and safety.

I hate mondays, I’m not paid enough for this shit.

Well, that’s just spiffy. When the Earth has become a desolate wasteland inhabited only by nocturnal, albino, plague-infected mutants out to kill poor Chalton Heston, we’ll know who to thank.

CRorex, when you decide to switch to a less exciting line of work, will it be something like lion taming?

I hope the answer to the BSL-4 question is a safe one.

stocks up on blue, green, and red herbs

runs into wall diagonally

No, you fool! Turn! TURN!!

Just ask yourself: What would Homer do?

Ummm, CRorex? Have you called to report the warning lights? Or are you just going to go home and start the end of the world (ala Stephen King’s The Stand)? :smiley:

Wouldn’t it make sense to put the Red Board of Death outside the secure lab area so you could check it out before becoming a human guinea pig? Or maybe that’s what the evil hidden conspiracy funding your organization * wants [\i] to happen, eh?

We’re all doomed.

JRootabega, I was really laughing out loud at that. I’ve got some First Aid Spray if you need it, and there’s a box of ink ribbons around here somewhere.

“It’s locked.
A carving of armor.”

Wow. Maybe as a nice relaxing moonlighting job, you could become a bomb squad technician in Beirut.

Maybe the monkeys have been playing with the lights?

My monday? I set around talking to my coworkers on the phone who hadnt been laid off. And trying to fight off depression over a bleak job market and the idea that I may lose my house in a month or two.

Or you could have buboes the size of grapefruit and be bleeding to death out of your anus, right CRorex?

I woulda said “it was like that when I got here” … personally my Monday was spent in bed … but sleeping unfortunately with a poorly tummy … oh well… sighssssssssssss…

Ok, we’re all going to live.

From what I could find out they forgot to seal the door after they decontaminated the 4.

I think.

Aww hell, it’s not like worse things haven’t happened.

Granted I’m still sick with this goddamn flu and want to die.

But you’re sure its the flu and not the plague, right? 'Cuz, ummm, I’m starting to get a little sniffle myself…


I can pretty much guarantee that if this place has some kind of test monkeys that they have all mutated into an uber-race of monsterous devils. Check the cages…

Of all the careers in all the world, you had to pick this one, CRorex, didn’t you? It certainly provides entertainment for me, but man, I don’t think I could handle the level of stress you seem to bear. What, I may be contaminated with a world-killing virus? Whatever. Mondays suck.

I don’t know about the rest of y’all, but I certainly find this comforting. [/sarcasm mode]