I haven’t bitched about work in a while, but now there’s a reason.
Recap: October last year, the head of our department (DH) announced that he was leaving for a better job in Canada. This has started a cluster-fuck that has continued to this day. Some higher ups wanted to dissolve this program and start over. The Spineless Bastard, one of the big wigs, just wants us out of “his” building - but we can leave our equipment for him to use. :rolleyes:
We were just told that what’s left of DH’s grant money is going to be taken by the U. (I’m not sure if they’re taking back U. money or confiscating other funds. Since the research branch and teaching hospital have been “transitioning” to this fancy fucking money-pit of a new campus, the U. is deeply in debt.) None of these funds will be given to this program’s research scientists. The lab is dead.
There are many talented, hard working people that will be fucked bareback with a spiked dildo (not in a fun way) because of this. Unfinished projects and unpublished papers will set their careers back months, maybe even years. There is also “dead lab” stigma that will follow these folks. (I’m double fucked. I worked for an institute that was about to fold, but bought out by a private university. Now, I’ve been with a starved department. Maybe I’m a Plague_Rat?)
Academics sucks! No wonder I’m quitting. What to do next, I’m still trying to figure out.
Thanks. I’ve been suspecting this for awhile now. My boss has been out of the lab for weeks. Not answering phone calls, pages or emails. My bet is that he’s establishing himself as a full-time clinical doctor or looking for a position with another U. (Fuck Dr. Boss. I wish he’d tell me what he’s up to. If I’m going to be laid off it may benefit me more than quiting - and look a little better on my resume.)
I feel bad for the handfull of people who are still here. A couple of post-docs have been trying to break into private industry, but have had no luck. One was even told to drop her doctorate off of her resume, it hurts her chances. All of that work to get a PhD and you have to hide it to get a job?
Just got an email: a “sexually violent predator” - their words - will be moving within 1 mile of campus. Great. We’re already in the middle of Meth/Gang Land.
Fuck this shit. After the Mouseling is born, I’ll look into career change.
So what the fuck happens to the jobs and equipment when the budget gets done being raped*?
Do they just stop paying y’all? Do you show up one day to find the doors locked? Hold a garage sale on the equipment? Sell y’all off for medical test subjects?
Anyway - Sucky sit. Maybe get a mongo-sized Tazer for your resident preditor, and accidentally use on the Uni Admin?
What was the original source of the funds for the lab? Who bought the equipment and paid the salaries? If it was public money with an earmark, perhaps some newspaper would be interested in reporting on a bit of university graft? (It would not save your jobs, but it might make the scum squirm a bit.)
ETA: Alternatively, if the deserter still has the purse strings, he might be encouraged to sell the equipment to repay the original obligations, keeping it out of the hands of the incoming thief.)
Squink hit the nail on the head. Small and inexpensive stuff will “disappear.” (U policy states that equipment over a certain value must be registered with Asset Management. Anything not on the registry can move from lab to lab.)
Original funds for a lab vary. Most of them start with NIH grants. Then there are other organizations and foundations that researchers apply to for funding.
At this U., salaries are paid and equipment is bought strictly with grant money. There is very little direct funding from the University itself. My boss got a “Bridge Grant” from the U. - money to tide us over until we get a grant. Then the U. wants us to pay their “grant” back when we get funding. :rolleyes:
Rumors of fuzzy funding are common. If they are to believed, the building I work in was built with NIH funds that were intended for something else.
No thanks, got plenty,
Nadia caught one at 2:00 Ante Meridian this morning. Jumping over the gate that keeps the dogs out of the bedroom. Again. And Again. I took him away from her and turned him loose on the porch. Last seen vaulting down the steps, hopefully a wiser and outside mouse.
I wish I knew somebody in your line of work, but I’m a grunt. I can only offer my sincerest sympathies upon the closing of your lab. I hope and pray that you find the job that you dream of. Permanent and lots of benefits, monetary and otherwise. At least you now share the eyes and minds of many in your search. Peace be with you.
Sorry to learn of your lab woes. I dunno if you’re one of those “misery loves company” types, but I haven’t personally heard much of any good news emerge from research academia lately. If I do, I’ll try to give a shout out. Meanwhile, happy thoughts.
Our department just recently went through a similar convulsion with the departure of the Research VP, and the repercussions continue. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? Our supervisor called us in the other day to inform us that upper management has noticed a problem with low morale lately, so from now on anyone complaining could be the next to lose their job. So that should solve that problem nicely. Personally I’m keeping my eyes peeled for job openings at the local pet shops just in case.
I’ve often thought that this line of work would lend itself nicely to a screwball comedy movie. There could be a scene where a group of investigators are arguing with the lab manager, and none of them actually speaks the same language. The plot could revolve around various researchers’ attempt to create an incredibly rare strain of mouse model, and their various attempts to sabotage each other in the process. Eventually someone manages to breed a mouse which contains all the desired genes, but before they can use it to found the strain, it escapes! And then you’ve got this several-hundred-thousand-dollar mouse running around the facility, evading all attempts to catch it. It’d be a madcap laugh-a-minute romp! The feel-good movie of the summer! Or, not.
Its hard to believe that academic science was once cutting edge! Watson and Crick made their ground breaking discovery at Cambridge. This U. did the world’s first liver transplant - a procedure completed by early members of our now defuncted department. sigh
Like you, the idea of a comedy has crossed my mind. Miscommunication - the staple of mass-produced humor - is dead common. PI’s don’t have a clue how much money they have, or where the tubes are, or how to get into the animal facility. Lab techs have to make sure that the PI gets out of the lab before s/he breaks something.
My favorite story
“I want to use mice for a chemotherapy study!”
“Please discribe your experiment.”
“I’ll give mice a chemo treatment, then give them acupuncture. The mice will be observed for signs of nausea.”
“What would indicate nausea?”
“Vomit.”
“Mice don’t throw up. That’s why poison is so effective against them. Maybe you should re-think this project.”
Mouse_Maven, sorry to hear that the lab’s descent into ruin as been rubberstamped. I hope your parachute works, and that others in the lab can find new places to be.
Fuck DH and Spineless Bastard with a fireplug and lapping compound!
Mouse_Maven I’m sorry. I only work in a clinical lab - no research - but I know how crazy lab politics can be, and coupled with academia and the egos and money problems therein…erg.
The University of Washington does animal research, and gets a huge amount of research funds. I know a doctoral candidate working with mouse brainstems. Maybe you could relocate?
Thank you for the generous offer. Lucky of us, Mouse_Spouse has a good job here. (He’s a computer/business guy. The U.'s behavior shocks him. You’re highly trained employee with a unique skill set. They’re just going to let you go?) We’ll tighten our belt and see what life is like after the Mouseling is born. (A recommended daycare center here costs as much as my monthly salary. I know that daycare isn’t cheap, but I was shocked!)
My ego hurts more than anything else. I love my work and its been killing me to see it go nowhere.
Fuck the University! Unless you’re a “Big Name” researcher, they don’t give a rat’s ass about you. They’re more worried about pulling the football team’s ass out of the fire than the academic programs.
The new - shit slapped together - buildings are impressive. That’s not enough to keep good researchers. They’re paid more, given better benfits and administrative support at other institutions.
54% of a grant (there are a few exceptions to this, but most are “taxed”) goes to the U. to cover Facilities and Administration. We call it Fucking A! I don’t see what we get out of this. The bathrooms don’t have soap or paper towels. The floor tiles in this *two year-old building * are popping up. Our floor doesn’t have an autoclave or purified water dispenser because they were “to expensive.” :rolleyes: Still constructing new gods-damned buildings. Everyone talks about how great the new hospital is. The Big Wigs aren’t fucking stupid. I’d bet that the hospital got better construction because the public will see it. Lots of people go into a hospital. Very few go into a lab.
A researcher gets a million dollar grant to be paid over 10 years. Sounds like a lot doesn’t it? After the U. get its cut - the PI is left with $460,000, or $46,000 a year. If this PI does animal research, all of this money will go to that, or it may pay for the salary of a post-doc or senior research assistant. Other grants, with the U. getting its bit, will be needed to pay for supplies and time spent on special equipment maintained by Core facilities. (The Cores cause a lot of headaches. Some techniques need very specialized and sensitive equipment. Its better to have a department buy and maintain the equipment and charge labs for using it. The charges for use will hit your grant whenever that department’s finance person gets to it. Its not unusual for a PI to get burned by Core charges that they thought were already paid. One of our researchers just got slamed with $20,000 of charges from several months of work!)
Why can’t the researchers keep track of their grants? It can’t be that different from balancing a check book, right? Fucking WRONG! The Financial System is esoteric, the programs are designed for accounts. Spend years studying biochemistry and now you have to know what encumberences are? Keep track of the 115 fiscal policies of the U and the policies of the foundations that give you the money. Also, the U takes its F&A a little bit every day. What you have today will be a little less tomorrow, even it you don’t buy anything. Its suggested that you get an admin assistant to help with all of this - with WHAT FUCKING MONEY! Anyway, were is the “Administrative” part of this F&A?
pantpant Ok, I’m going to clean my house. At least that will give me a sense of accomplishment.
You’re at that Uni. Home of Ward Churchill. I better understand your troubles… My stepfather was a professor at the other Uni, rather further north. I don’t know that things were better there, but he never seemed to have trouble getting resources when he needed them, even when his work involved some pretty esoteric stuff… I mean, c’mon? How many people play with batshit that aren’t fucking crazy?
Miscommunication - the staple of mass-produced humor - is dead common. PI’s don’t have a clue how much money they have, or where the tubes are, or how to get into the animal facility. Lab techs have to make sure that the PI gets out of the lab before s/he breaks something.