Actually, let’s turn the question around a bit. Your S.O. is one of two survivors on a “Castaway” type South Pacific island. The other is a reasonably attractive member of the sex that interests your S.O., and, as luck would have it, one of the items of flotsam or jetsam that washes ashore is a crate of 5,000 condom boxes.
How long do they have to be marooned together before you’d forgive your S.O. for fooling around with his or her island companion? Or would forgiveness ever be an option?
That would depend entirely on the expectation of rescue. If they knew ships passed that way with regularity, I’d expect them to hold off (or maintain the fiction that they held off). But you’re asking about a situation where they are alone with an attractive person, incredibly stressed, and with no other outlet for stress relief and not much else to pass the time. I think I’d suspend my ordinary rules in this case. In that case, sex would probably be a natural reaction to relief at survival, and I’d forgive pretty much anything after 30 seconds.
Once they got back, it would probably take a lot of work to get beyond it, but I don’t think it would be reasonable to expect celibacy in such a case. And I would have a lot of trouble if he wanted to maintain contact with Island Hottie once he got home.
I suppose it all depends on what happens after the rescue. If she still wants to see him, then we’re gonna have us a problem (In theory I’m all for free sex, in practice I’m afraid I’m a very jealous guy :/). Besides that, what happens in Koro-koro stays in Koro-koro, I don’t wanna know.
Why is that different than the length of time that I should have to wait back home in the real world? Back home, I am surrounded by countless hotties and I am also extremely stressed (my wife is missing, possibly dead, possibly dying or stranded…)
It’s not okay for me to start having sex with random people that first night. So I wouldnt feel it is forgivable for her to do the same.
I would never forgive her. It would have to be a length of time sufficient for her to believe that she would never be rescued and would never see me again.
I would never start dating or having sex with other people until a sufficient amount of time passed for me to believe she was most definitely dead. 10 years of thorough searching would be about right.
At home, you have access to other people for companionship and professional counseling; you don’t have the stress and pressures of day-to-day food and shelter for survival; you have television for mind-numbing entertainment; you have privacy for self-gratification. In short, any number of other resources to help and quite a lot less pressure, though of course I don’t mean to minimize the anxiety you’d feel. You can even post “My wife is lost at sea: Dopers, how long before I date?” for semi-objective feedback.
If it were me on the island… day one, assuming the lady castaway was willing. I’d have to figure I’d be cold and wet and scared, and of course we would need to huddle together for warmth. – and I’ve been snipped so so there is no risk of pregnancy.
If it were me on the island, nothing would happen. All my life I’ve been considered quite homely (to put it kindly), so me and the hottie would remain just friends. I’m a nice person and I love kites, so at least thats something she’d maybe like.