Ok, here’s the deal. I am in a job I hate. An endless litany of soul-destroying, heart breaking, head wrecking fire drills from one day to the next. I’m considered the lowest of the low in the office that I work in. The type of work that I do is looked down upon by the other professionals in the office. Little to no chance for real career advancement and I work with passive-aggressive arseholes.
Have been here almost a year (a year in June) which I can’t believe. The thing is, my company has got a great reputation and they pay me a lot. An awful lot.
Can’t switch from what I am doing because I was hired to do just that. They’ve increased my salary 2x in the past 4 months to the point where it is starting to look like real money.
Should I just suck it up and stick it out for another year? Two years looks pretty good I guess and the money is nice. Allowed me to buy a decent 2 bedroom condo on Chicago’s northside.
So has anyone been in this situation before? Should I just suck it up and keep my mouth shut and take the $$ until I can figure out what to do? Should I just be happy that I have a job with health insurance and a (non-matching) 401(k) plan?
I can’t advise you whether to stay or go, but be careful of the salary thing: are you making more than the industry standard for your position/experience? If so, when you finally decide that you can’t stand the job anymore you might find yourself priced out of the market … that is, unable to take a comparable job somewhere else because you can no longer afford the lower salary. Just something to be aware of.
If I may venture an opinion, it would be to stick it out. Not that the financial angle is the only thing to be considered, of course, but if, as you say, they are paying you well, that’s certainly something to be considered. Unpalatable things tend to become a bit more acceptable to me if I see a clear exit plan (in 12 months, I will *definitely *quit; that sort of thing). It would also give you time to start looking for alternative employment in a more planned way. Just a thought.
I quit a good – but not great – paying job to go teach English in China for $150 a month. It was a fantastic decision. I’d absolutely do it again.
Although money is nice, the satisfaction of having a rewarding, enjoyable job is much greater, in my opinion. Then again, I have a job I really like and I get paid better than I think I have a right to expect (even though I am far from wealthy), so I can’t complain so much.
I’m a simple-minded type, and when I had bad days at work, I’d treat myself. Sometimes something as simple as sprucing up my workspace helped adjust my attitude. Get that red stapler, buy a fancy new pen, take a long lunch, schedule your vacation.
The other thing to consider is whether there’s something in your attitude that makes your co-workers look down on you. If they know you’re unhappy with them and the job, it’ll color how they relate to you.
To answer your question Auntie Pam, I do not like the work at all. I’m actually well thought of by my co-workers insofar as I’m a fairly pleasant guy to get along with and I try to hid my distaste for the job. The problem is with my direct supervisors who appear to be as equally unhappy with their jobs. Nothing overt or direct but just a lot of passive-aggressiveness. One of the problems is that we are divorced from the rest of the company due to the kind of work that we do.
I am thinking of sticking it out for another 12 months (that would be 24 months). I will, however, have to accept the fact that my salary will fall drastically so perhaps it is time to start radically cutting back and accepting that my financial situation will soon change rather drastically.
I think what Dervorin said about a clear exit plan is good advice. Start learning to live on a little less and put the rest in savings so when you get out you’ve got a little nest egg.
Also, just remember that your thoughts and feelings are coming from inside you. You are creating the feelings that you have whether they’re positive or negative. Dealing with passive agressive assholes is easy if you can learn to not take it personally and not internalize their antics. The only thing you can change is you.
Happiness is an inside job. The key to being content and having peace in your current situation is changing your attitude. If you can learn to find peace and serenity in a bad situation by changing your attitude then when the great situation comes along it will be all the more wonderful.
I know that sounds like psycho-babble but I believe it. Doing what you love can sometimes be as simple as loving what you do, even if you don’t.
My last job slowly morphed into a soul-destroyer. I stuck with it because I kept telling myself it was a good job, the job market wasn’t up, and it was for a good cause (it was a not-for-profit).
The day I got downsized, it was like a weight had been lifted and the sun finally shone down on me. The other downsizees were devastated, but I suddenly realized how much that job had ground me down, and so I went home and celebrated.
I ended up getting a (much) higher-paying job that actually used all my expertise, in a commercial industry, that had less soul-destroyingness. The only drawback was that I had to look for a job while unemployed, which took some time since I’d learned to be picky.
The lesson I learned was to not put up with a job that I hate. Your situation and experiences may differ, but I would suggest to you that you deserve better out of life than suffering at a job that you hate. And it’s always easier to look for another job while you’re employed…
I’m in a soul-sucking technology job. I hate it. I hate my boss. But there are some advantages and I’ve decided they’re worth more to me than being happy with what I do.
You are not what you do. Look at it as a means to an end. I’m looking at retirement and the convenience of being able to work from home while my husband is retired. I’m going to try to stick it out. I may not make it, but that’s my plan for now.
My last day for my current employer is this Thusday; I start my new job on Friday. I was not as unhappy with you.
I spent some time soul searching this past fall, trying to figure out why work was so stressful. I realized: a) My job was not my calling. (Yeah, I went to church once, and heard a sermon directly related to my situation. Maybe there is a God.) We all have gifts. If you job doesn’t use them, you are unfulfilled and stressed. Fortunately, some of my gifts are mathematics related, and hence employable. Unfortunately, most tech workers become managers. b) I do not respect the technical abilities of my coworkers as much as I had with past coworkers. Working with people you do not respect is frustrating and stressful. Working for them is worse. (Yes, I’ve left a job for those reasons.)
If I were you, I’d figure out which of your gifts are most employable, and devise a plan to find employment that uses them. The plan can be involved (go back to school) or simple. In my case, I’m old enough to have former coworkers throughout town, so I contacted them. One firm has need of a math/physics/analysis protege for the current retirement age math/physics/analysis guy. So, off I go. It sounds like you might need some training in a field better suited to you, with bosses and coworkers you like and respect.
Thanks guys. This has been helpful. I must admit that there is more than a little pleasure in hearing that others are miserable in their jobs as well but manage to carry on. Misery does indeed love company.
I think I want out of this entire industry though. Time to do some personal reflection and see what I can come up with. Create a budget and save as much money as I possibly can all whilst trying to find a why to get out.
I do appreciate the tips and perhaps it is time to focus on myself a little bit and make sure I am happy.
From dissecting the Sopranos to personal help like this, I love this board!
I’m really just concurring with most of the advice above. I think no amount of money is worth hating what you do for a living. Now, while you’re still employed, is the best time to start looking for a job. Fix up your resume, get some training/education, work on your interviewing skills, consider what you REALLY want to do, and get on the job hunt. You may find a comparable job to what you have now, you might find someone you like more; just because you find something doesn’t mean you have to take it. Maybe you can use another offer as leverage to get a different position at the same company. Certainly, at least, don’t quit until you have your exit plan in place.
